Posted by
funcgkw
19 yrs ago
well, i met this guy a bit less than a year ago and we hit it off right away, but he had to go back to the states for work. we spent like a week together from the time we met till he left and we both wanted to keep a relationship the best we can. we didn't talk on the phone everyday, in fact, we barely did talk on the phone, just msn and i'd send him emails sometimes if i didn't see him. he came back in late july, spent a week here. i was really stoked and he said he'd come back in november and spend more time here. i really wanted to see if we could keep going cause we haven't really spent much time together.
i saw him on msn today and guess what...he's back! he bought a house here and planned on marrying his ex girlfriend. on msn, he told me he had strong feelings for me and he cared about me a lot and hoped we could be friends, but he loves this girl, they almost got married but he chickened out at the time and they were apart for a year. so this time he's sure about marriage and willing to give it a try. he wanted to tell me this in july when he was here but he couldn't hold back with me.
i shed a few tears and felt so much better. but now the more i think about it, the more this whole thing (relationship whatever you might call it) creeps me out. how can you be sure about marrying someone and yet couldn't hold back with another person?? that's so weak!! and i thought he's such a cool guy that i'd never think he would do something like this.
well, i really liked him and i don't hate him or anything for what he did. i just wonder if his marriage will work out with that kind of mentality. or i should feel sorry for his future wife?
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you know what? don't spend another iota of energy speculating about him, his wife, or their future. people are weak, and it's possible to love one person wholeheartedly but like someone else (sometimes lots of different "someone-elses"!), and for some it's easy to give in to a temporary comfort zone.
you've shed your tears, now move on. don't dwell on the past.
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i never dwell on the past. this is what works for me: i don't try to forget things that upset me, instead, i keep thinking about them until my mind's tired of doing so and it'll be outta my system for good. when that happens, it won't even hurt a tiny bit when i think about it again. let's just say i'm in a phase now. : P
but i'm disappointed in him, that's for sure. i thought he'd be cooler than that cause he seemed so sure about what he wants. come to think of it, i didn't lose anything, really. a guy that weak is not worth it. : )
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"I don't try to forget things that upset me, instead, I keep thinking about them until my mind's tired of doing so..."
I am exactly the same:) sure you will be recovered very soon. time to say good bye to the past, let's looking forward 2006. good luck, everyone.
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Agree with all of the above.
Move on and move up. He is clearly not the nice guy you thought he was.
Question - are he and his wife going to be living in GZ or the US?
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i think the only explanation would be: too much weed : P he didn't even try explaining. what bugs me is he made it sound like i was "the other person" all along and now he just needs to do the "right thing". no sorry no nothing! but whatever....
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well, they're actually in kunming now. he bought a house in kunming and will be spending more time there when he's in china. i'm just glad that they're not living in gz and will never be.
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Well that's a blessing. Also teh expta community is pretty small. If they did live in GZ, chances are his little secret would come out.
Best to forget him, he sounds like a complete tw@t to me.
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Agree with Vulvic. He sounds like a matyr. Move on. Next year will be better. I am going to embrace 2006.
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actually i'm really close to some of his friends here but they're all in foshan (he was mainly in foshan when he's in china). the best thing outta this mess is i became best friends with one of his friends. for that, i'm glad i met him.
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evohe
19 yrs ago
Mmm think about yourself and see if there is any man in your vicinity that you would like to eat alive. Crunch ! Func is masticating a new man.
Take it as an experience, and the conclusion is some people are not reliable. Hopefully next experience will be more positive.
As the Bear said, humans are unpredictable, come to think of it, too many parameters.
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Evohe, are you advocating cannibalism?!
Funcgkw, sorry to hear about what happened to you. Yes, some people are weak, and people are sometimes unpredictable. Be happy though that you've gotten rid of this person in time. Also be happy that you at least have scruples as you know that this kind of behaviour is morally wrong.
Like I said before in another thread, every girl has at least once in her life kissed a prince who turned into a frog. Take it as one of those life experiences, like others have already said.
BTW, even if he would explain why he did what he did, you will never know if he is telling you the truth. So let go of that. Just move on and enjoy new experiences.
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How to choose a prince among the frogs?
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FJ, what do you think?! By kissing all of them of course, haha.
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Kissing all the Frogs??? There'll be a lot of happy French men in HK this Crimbole.
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Following up on freshjive's question-in-cheek, I think there's a frog in every prince. Looking at it pessimistically, every guy will probably turn out at least one serious flaw, but one learns to "settle." But you can also call this outlook "realistic." So, everything's relative. How serious is that serious flaw? How high is your personal degree of tolerance? The "happy" marriages are those where these two jigsaw puzzle pieces fit.
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evohe
19 yrs ago
Sorry to interfere, but please Miss P.
Do not put things on men, but on people ie both sexes.
I am tired to see that being unfaithfull and saying bolloks is a male attribute.
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I agree that infidelity and lying, as with other vices, are not exclusive to men, but it does seem (from personal accounts, experience, books, magazine articles, etc) to be more predominant with men than women.
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evohe
19 yrs ago
Did you know that kissing a young french man brings luck in love and career for a whole year.
Ladies ... tickets are available at Mac Do IFC :-)
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Evohe - if that were true, the French would be far more popular.
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NemesisX, he's indeed a prince turned frog. but i think i'll keep kissing them all till i find the real one. : P
cloudninety, i agree there's a frog in every prince. i can deal with that but not that kind of frog. a person like that only loves himself and is too weak to admit that.
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evohe
19 yrs ago
They are already popular dear :-)
Euh, cloudninety, from my experience it is the opposite... So let's be neutral.
And just for the quote : someone who accept to go out with a cheater, is participating in the "crime".
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...OR women are better at hiding it...
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The Bear: Perhaps.
Voiceofreason: Doubt it. Women are famed for talking things out, sharing feelings, etc.
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cloudninety: depends on who women talk to, share feelings with, etc. women are no more decipherable than men...in fact i would venture to say they are much less so! i think The Bear is partly right, but only partly - perhaps men just get caught more often than women.
in any case, i also believe men and women cheat for different reasons, and they usually face different consequences. but that is a whole other thread.
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lulu
19 yrs ago
funckgw> hey! you should feel happy as you are not the one he is going to marry! and you can leave this sort of "burden LDR" behind! Enjoy a bit of time on your own, sometime men are nothing but trouble.
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Well, honestly speaking, be it men or women, its more of "Cant live with; Cant live without." We may rant, sulk, cry or complain. At the end of the day, everyone would like to find someone who loves them. Have faith, all. Its Xmas time. Leave the cynicism and bitterness behind. Start afresh if things have been lousy. And start to kiss some frogs....maybe one of them will turn into a prince..lol
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i don't think i'm upset or mad at him. certainly no hate either. i just really don't like the fact that he wasted my time! he could've told me last time he was here or on numerous msn chats. that could've saved me lot of day dreaming! : P if i hadn't asked his whereabouts on msn, he would've waited till he gets over here and he wanted to talk to me in person while he's bringing that girl over at the same time. worse yet, he's just probably gonna invite me to his wedding! and i was actually planning a surprise trip to kunming when i found out he's there now. only a few minutes later, that idea made me feel like a complete idiot.
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ahh, i should stop calling her "that girl", i guess. : P
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