i think we are (doing ourselves a disservice, that is). that's why in the other thread i said commitment was the most important ingredient...especially if you are going to take the long view. then again many things have changed since our parents' and grandparents' generations - there were consequences back then to actions which, now, there are almost none...OR we feel we can live with or afford those consequences.
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Sorry for changing the thrust of this thread, but these examples seem to be perfect parallels:
To make a short-term comparison: every day I see kids who have already:
failed classes,
failed a grade,
and been kicked out of a school.
For them, "What's the worst that can happen?" is a reality-- they've already lived through the worst, survived in some manner, and so, now......they do what they want.
As VOR said, there do not seem to be severe consequences.
However, here's a thought-- recent educational philosophy says that "today's generation" is SUBSTANTIALLY MORE CONSERVATIVE than ours or our parents'.
[sorry, intentional Caps LOC]
And… it is definitely true in my household!! At nearly 37, I am "wilder" [or I would be…] than my 14 yr old EVER wants to be!
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Grandpa had cataracts?/sp/
How about:
"I told her I loved her the day we were married and if that changes, I'll let her know."
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No doubt, there is something to be said for the marriages of the previous generation. But I also hear many stories about many marriages of that generation where the man has strayed and the woman just puts up with it and "closes one eye". And in that generation it probably IS true that the man strays much more than the woman does. So what does that leave us to think? Is the institution of marriage back then necessarily more successful than the institution of marriage now?
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Yeah, you're probably right. At least where infidelity is concerned. Wives back then didn't have the economic freedom to leave an unfaithful husband. They do now. I recently attended a 60th anniversary of an uncle and aunt. They are both very old, the aunt in a wheelchair and drools and all. But during the "walk-in" of the couple, they looked so romantic. Dressed splendidly for the occasion, he wheeled her in, looking like they had spent a lifetime of love together. Then I get from the grapevine that he had kept mistresses most of his adult life, even fathered other children, who were part of the anniversary celebration!! Blows my mind!
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Woman with several men is considered unappropiate, and in worst cases one will catagorized as a slut. If it's the other way round, men are privileged without any rumours. It's so unfair!
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I find myself already great. No need to stand behind great men (unless he's a real good chap). Hail woman's rights movement!
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We have reached the age where woman has the choice and independent enough to walk out if they want to. And we, women, should in no way put up with infidelity or any acts of disrespect.
(It feels as if I am writing for the Women's Charter.)
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evohe
19 yrs ago
Interesting topic, here are my two cents.
In the past, I would say 3 generations ago :
1 - Women had no economical power in the household
2 - Marriage where mostly arranged, or strongly recommended by the respective families
3 - Sex before marriage is unacceptable.
But gradually this has changed and with the 60's revolution the new status is
1 - Women are independant, they study and work like men.
2 - Marriage is a choice between the 2 partners. It is not imposed by our families
3 - Sex no longer goes with commitment.
The traditional frame is gone into spooks. And since now we choose freely on both sides with whom we would like to marry, we are getting through a hard time. Choosing requires maturity, hence experience. And more and more people live together without getting married, even have children ... Because they reject commitment and want freedom.
I think we are digesting the new environment and it will take time to adjust. But as rightly mentioned the young generation seems to look back at the traditions.
Too many children have seen their parents getting divorced and do not wish it for their own children.
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Casey, can i shed a tear? :)
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