Posted by
Fortune500
19 yrs ago
After 5 years of marriage, a child, and working 60hours a week...my wife and I need someone to step in and mediate. I live in Hong Kong and work in Shanghai.
Does anyone know a marriage counseler who understands the stressed out expat!
(from Hong Kong)
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F100
19 yrs ago
dear fortune500,
sounds like you and your wife need a long vacation by yourselves.
try to have some relative look after your child.
all work and no play can wreak any marriage.
sit down with your wife and write down all the things in your life that you would like to change.
try not to blame each other.
think of it as emotional decluttering.
chuck out all the crap that is bringing you grief.
remember it is normal for any marriage to have it's ups and downs.
when you are going through a down period think of it as a roller coaster and try to hang on.
ps... a marriage counselor is a great idea if you find you have difficulty in working it out yourself. it's a great step in the right direction. best of luck.
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People who will/should have this information are the local clergy. They usually have contact details of all family agencies and family organisations.
And you should not have to go to church. If they are any good they will be sympathetic and give you the info you need over the phone.
Your community centre should also have details. I know there is one in SHA (not sure where sorry). I assume simmilar in HK.
You could also try the phone book/yellow pages.
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I'm a doctor / psychiatrist based in Hangzhou at the North American International Hospital. Can contact anytime.
Dr. M. Marko 0571-87780120
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Hi fortune 500
I saw a great psychologist her name is susan mistler in hk she works in hk wanchai.
at lucy lord practise the number i dont have on hand but its easy to get from the operator 1081 .
she saved my marriage.
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No, Jimmy, you and your wife saved your own marriage by being willing to work at it. Susan Mistler just provided the expertise and guidlines to help with your willingness.
Be proud to know this. I am happy to know people that can work out something and who value the sanctity of their promises to each other enough to work it out.
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hey Jimmy - is it ok for you to tell us ur experience with the psychologist pls? many thanks
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F100
19 yrs ago
hi A me,
i am not saying that it is "easy" to sort out difficulties in a marriage - it definitely takes time, effort, patience, hard work and many other things as well.
also, some problems are too big and can't be worked out. i just think that when you enter a marriage you try your very best to work things out. if things don't work out....at least there are no regrets that you didn't try to best to make it work.
as to why people have affairs - there are many reasons. here are some of the reasons why people might have an affair. i am sure there are many more not listed.
-companionship, boredom, career meltdown, unexpected success, ego, just for fun, anger, mid-life crisis, partner has changed, fear of aging, new baby.....the list can go on and on....
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