Distant relationship-is that possible?



ORIGINAL POST
Posted by summernightsdream 19 yrs ago
Hi!

I'm a chinese girl studying in Europa. I've grown up here, but I really love China. Now, I've been falling in love with a Chinese guy in Beijing. But I can only see him during my vacations twice a year, altogether 4months. I know it's crazy, but do you think that it's possible? Oh and the most important: He doesn't know I love him, I don't know how to tell him; but I'm sure he has the same feeling. Any tips?


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COMMENTS
tigerbay 19 yrs ago
It is possible and there is no harm in trying.


If you are both Chinese you probably stand a good chance, as I believe this is common in China, and so you will both be getting supporting messages form your family and peers. This will help a lot.

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shaq 19 yrs ago
You can do anything (no matter how difficult or hard), if you put your mind to it, and this includes long distance relationships.


Also, with the knowing that he loves/likes you back part, you better tell him or find out in one way or the other as soon as possible before you waste your time and later find out that he is not into you at all.

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tigerbay 19 yrs ago
Culture has a lot to do with everything.


In UK everybody would be esxpecting LDR to fail. That is not helpful.


LDR is not common, and casual sex is also normal. So more pressure onthe relationship.


So family and friends cheering from the sideline would probably make very little difference to you.


In China LDR is more normal, and cheating is mote of a cultural no no.


Most people live and exist best within the norms of their culture. To deny this shows a distinct lack of cultural awareness.

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summernightsdream 19 yrs ago
Thanks a lot for so many suggestions! hoyo, you ask me why I don't find someone in Europe. The answer is I had several relationships with Europeans, but since I've met HIM, he can't get out of my head. I think it's serious. But one thing is sure, I won't waste my time! So I decide to travel to BJ next month to get things straight what he thinks about it. Wish me good luck;-)

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tia 19 yrs ago
I am in one now and although it is tough, it has advantages and good point. I understand what you mean about since meeting this man, you can't imagine anyone else...regardless of distance.


Many people find it hard to wrap their heads around a LDR as it is not the norm, but could possibly becoming more common with the changes in the world and job situations.


If you think it is worth it, hang in there and give it an honest go.

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wildorchid 19 yrs ago
What I've observed is that more and more people are in LDR nowadays due to business nature of people involved in it and the convenience and fastness of travelling.


Just take a look at the other thread on LDR, you'll see how many of us here are handling it daily. Many difficulties, no doubt but it also has certain spices to add to the relationship.


So if you are really into him and he shows his interest in you and can accept the LDR, go ahead.


The fact that he's in BJ and you're in Europe does not mean that you both are distined to be in long distance for your whole life. Once you are together, you will work on and out how to shorten the distance then.


So fly to BJ, be with him, talk to him and figure it out for both of you! Nothing is more beautiful then being in love!

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Kristin49998 19 yrs ago
Rhetorical commentary:


China is more "moral" in terms of relationships because multiple wives and mistress are part of the establishment [i.e. ancient practices] ?


It's only cheating when the female does it....

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flabbergasted 19 yrs ago
sorry Kristian49998, maybe it is me, but I fail to see how it is relevant at all....unless this is from personal experience.




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New Jersey 18 yrs ago
My experience tells me that it does not work. I was very supportive when my husband had to go to Guangzhou for business. He would stay an average of 3 months per stay and guess what. I ended up the b-----d had married someone else who did know that he was married. Fairy tales are over for me.

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cym 18 yrs ago
i think LDR relation purely depends on both the parties to be totally honest and committed.Its very tough ,I had a choice just recently of gettin back with my ex.HE was my soul mate we got along like a house on fire.But hes moving to new york ,hell no way will it work.We are on diffrent time zones and yes i love him and would wanna end up with him,but then i have to be realistic .I m sure if it was meant to be he wouldnt have gone so far away.its sad ive been low but have to be real.New york is so full of amazing women ..LDR NO WAY!I would end up being a wreck.so my advise dont ever go there its so not worth it

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