Posted by
Vulvic
19 yrs ago
If you can not manage a relationship, how on earth do you think you can handle a life-long, unconditional relationship with a child??
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rats
19 yrs ago
Learn how to manage a relationship?
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shaq
19 yrs ago
You can't eat your cake and have it. Just as there is no mid-way between life and death, so it is with what one can do in a committed relationship.
Being happy or not is a different issue all together. If your priority is to be in relationship solely for happiness, then, you're kidding yourself; there is no absolute free and non-bumpy way any where.
I'll advise you to have a sense of compromise, respect for others and you'll have some appreciable amount of happiness in life.
Lastly, remember that, ULTIMATELY, no one can make you happy, but YOU. This includes decisions you take in all aspects of your life ..... Peace out :P.
SHAQ
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Ballerina - how old are you? Why do you think you can't manage a relationship? Why do you feel you won't be able to see male friends if you are married? Why do you even want to be married if you feel you are not suited to relationships? Why do you think having a child will give more meaning to your life?
You see, I could go on and on with the questions. The simple fact is that you have too many questions and not enough answers, spend time thinking about what you want and how you can achieve it.
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shaq
19 yrs ago
Vulvic >> Only people who can't or are afraid to take responsibility for anything are those who think they can't manage a relationship. I guess BALLERINA is one of such people. AM I wrong, Ballerina???? :P.
SHAQ
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That is why I ask her age, she sounds rather immature in her reasoning and constant 'what should I do' pleas. It does irk me when people look for easy answers from other people rather than think for themselves.
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shaq
19 yrs ago
I can't agree with you more, Vulvic!!!!!!!
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shaq
19 yrs ago
I mean no disrespect, BALLERINA!!
However, I think that you know what to do when it comes to committing to a relationship; you just wanna beat about the bush or solicit for advise/comments you wouldn't use anyway.
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rats
19 yrs ago
Ballerina- what is the definition of 'open marriage'? All you want is to have a soulmate, make it exclusive and hang out with other male friend, without doing anything further, which is quite reaonsable. Even a married woman can have male friends, can't she? ;)
Meanwhile, are you trying to say you are a perfectionist? So things are never good enough for you and you consider yourself handling everything badly? If that's the case, how do you think you will be ok to manage a kid's life? :)
How much do you want a relationship? if you are a happy person now, maybe you can try to find a new goal that will make you happy. it may be difficult, but if learning how to manage a relationship make you more happy and that's truly what you want, you can make it :)
good luck!
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But why do you NEED a husband??? I just don't understand women who think that a husband will fix everything.
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Ballerina, at this point in your life you don't a husband and you absolutely don't need a child.
Find your inner self. Know what your strengths are. Appreciate what you are and what you have. You should be happy within to be happy with others.
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Ballerina, Ballerina, a guy in your life is not equal to happiness. It's not always possible to have it all in life.
Why cant you be happy about the things that you already have and treasure them more like you did before?
What about being grateful to have a job, not to worry about income, have a roof over your head, have friends and family who care about you? Look at people who dont even know how a pc works and have to worry about the basic needs on a daily basis in Third World Countries!
Come on!
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you dont need a husband for that .
A real one has needs .
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Star studded...
I have a problem when it comes to relationship as well... I dunno how to show guys that Iam also interested in them... So they all thought that I ws not interested and ... :'(
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ballerina : In what way do you feel that you cannot manage a realtionship , if you could explain that further , we here could give you better pointers ( not to mention the thousands of books written abt this since time immemorial)
arenthusas : the easiest thing to do is to get a guy who is interested in you is to LET him know. The more games you play the tougher the rules become..
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rats
19 yrs ago
Ballerina- why are you unhappy about everything and why your life is messed up?
I guess you are a Hongkonger? You are not messed up, probably you are just a little bit confused at this point of your life. We all want pure love if possible. And with Asia background, it is easy for women to be tempted to just get married and find a wallet when they are having trouble in life or at work, thought it is the easy way out. But this kind of silly thoughts usually subsides when they pull themselves back together.
Before anyone can be with you, as annebin said, you better first focus on your inner self :)
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rats
19 yrs ago
Ballerina- ok, seems you are pretty much clear about what you are after. Take action then, meet some male friends and your spirit will be lifted automatically.
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i am not into any of this, please leave me alone.
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rats
19 yrs ago
so sudden.
adopt is a nice word.....lol
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rats
19 yrs ago
ballerina- why you should get normal?:P I just asked you to take action according to your 'wanna-do' list, probably you will then be happier :).
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rats
19 yrs ago
Ballerina- what do you mean by it is difficult to find people of your kind? it shouldn't be difficult. Are you sure you are not having PMS? ;) As said, just hand out with some male friends and you will be ok.
Now you only TEND to be an old and bitter women, don't make yourself actually BE one of them before it is too late ;)
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rats
19 yrs ago
Ballerina- if it's just PMS, you will be okay soon ;)
If you don't wanna be there. ACT NOW! (geeze, I can work for some low-budget ad compaign...lol)
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rats
19 yrs ago
Ballerina- you are so close to getting out of the dark, don't let yourself become a sour and bitter woman (not even old :P)
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rats
19 yrs ago
Ballerina-can't you meet anyone in the gym? if you feel being 'lonesome', it means you are not really having the 'inspring moments' or not really getting used to being with no one :P
There is no sigle colleague you can hang out with? what about having curry nights with JC and others?
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rats
19 yrs ago
maybe you can take a step more and try to reach others beyond the computer screen ;)
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Ballerina, you sound lonely to me. The best way to get out of your depression is to find some people who need your help. Why don't you do some volunteer work somewhere? That way, you will forget about your problems and cut out some of the loneliness. If you believe in yourself and try to be a good person rather than a perfect person, you will eventually meet like people.
Good luck dear heart.
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rats
19 yrs ago
JC- why talk about adopting a kid suddenly?
Ballerina- your job sounds nice, have always been looking for a job which allows me to travel ;) You won't infect the ones you want to be with. You may be amazed how glad they are that you thought about them when you are in trouble ;)
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rats
19 yrs ago
Ballerina- even you show the 'i am fine' attitude, for sure you're happy to know that they do care about you ;) so you are not lonely :D
And yes...working is definitely not the same as I thought it would be like...
JC- how attentive you are ;) I thought ballerina had already given up that idea.
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rats
19 yrs ago
beingabroad- don't have to be so rude, or?
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Ballerine - sorry to tell you but FCUK is already copywrighted by French Connection UK. Better luck next time.
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rats
19 yrs ago
beingaboard- i can't heal her either. she is the one way who can mean it, but your attitude has definitely worsen her situation :P
ballernia- your self-destructive/diminished attitude starts to scare me....
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rats
19 yrs ago
ballerina- unique/artistic/special? in what sense?
if you were truly content with your unhappiness, you wouldn't have complained and felt sorry for yourself (unless you are trying to make you feel 'unique/special/artistic' by saying so?):P
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