Unmarried couples - all it's cracked up to be?

Are there benefits to being married? What are they? I am a journalist writing a feature on the pitfalls facing unmarried couples in Hong Kong(read: same sex couples that cannot marry AND heterosexual couples that don't want to marry) and I would be interested to hear anyone's stories about problems they have come up against - discrimination if you like - that has resulted from the fact that they are not married to their partner. Have you been denied basic rights? Has it affected certain insurance or pension products you can buy? Has it caused problems with buying property? Have you been denied tax breaks? Have you wanted to visit your loved one in hospital and been denied access as you are not married?

Tell me stories here or send me an email: hiddenfeature@hotmail.com

Hi there Hack,


Not sure if this anecdote will help with your article but the discrimination I faced from my partners employers, for being an 'unmarried', certainly cheesed me off at the time!!


My partner and I have been together for 3.5 years and are not married. We moved to Hong Kong last year as my partner got transferred here from London.

While we were working out all the moving arrangements, his employer (a large American bank) completely failed to recognise my existence simply because we are not married. They paid for shipping for what they deemed the equivalent of one persons belongings (luckily, we were travelling pretty light and could ship both our stuff with the allowance), provided him with one business class airfare (which he traded in for two economy tickets so we could both get to HK), gave us a serviced apartment designed for one person (well, sharing a single bed for six weeks can make for some fun times!) and refused to help in any way with visas, etc. for me.

I just found their attitude so bizarre and antiquated. I got so frustrated I even posed the following scenario to his employers HR - if we had met and married within two weeks and then his transfer came up, would they have provided for me? Her response - "Well, of course, because you would be married!"

So apparently two weeks of married life has more value than 3.5 years of a relationship. Strange idea indeed.

Zelda - thanks for your input. Would your friend be willing to talk to me about her experience do you think? If so, if she can email me at hiddenfeature@hotmail.com

UP - thanks for your comments about the ante-natal clinic. Out of interest, did you tell them you WERE planning to marry your boyfriend? Did they give you any idea why it was important? And the working car park space - what is with that? Was this your company giving you problems because the car wasn't in your name? Or what, they thought you had stolen it or something like that? Again, as I said to Zelda, if you are willing to talk to me about this, that would be great and my email is hiddenfeature@hotmail.com

Watergirl, I loved reading your story and you are right it is absolutely ridiculous in this day and age how marriage is seen as the answer to everything. Thanks very much for posting your thoughts.

Realise your article is angled at HK but incidently in Singapore there are lots of restrictions on single folks buying public housing if under 35. Single and over 35 seems to be fine as I guess they consider you a lost cause by then. Seems to be an effort to forward the govt's social policy and get couples married off early and making babies and with a decent amount of debt around their necks so they are less likely to rock the boat.

With watergirls comments I am surprised because I know that a famous Swedish company even offers boyfriends an allowance if they move with their girlfriends, and I presume that they would offer the same vice versa.


It is not just antiquated BUT you would think that they would want the boyfriend to be happy, and therefore be willing to be a little flexible.


But then some companies are very conservative.