missing an oportunity...

hey, i need some advice on a small issue i have at the moment.

I have been fairly lucky in love and since I have left school all those years ago I have pretty much always had a steady girlfriend and have not been single for much longer than 6 months. I am 28 now so thats 10 years of girlfriends.

I met a girl about 3 years ago and we dated for a year and all was very good but she had to leave for family commitments so we decided to cut our losses and she was going to leave and I was going to stay. We still kept in touch but during the 2 years since she left I have had another girlfriend and although it was quite serious I think we both knew that there wasnt a future in it. Anyway that ended about 6 months ago and since then I have been speaking to the other girl alot and we both still really care about each other. She has asked me to leave here and move to where she is which would mean taking the plunge and going for broke which i know we all have to do at some stage anyway. She is a bit older than me and I know she wants to settle down and make house etc and I want that too but i am not sure if I want it now.

In the past I was sure I had met the girl of my dreams only for us to discover that at that point me both wanted very different things and although we loved each other we had to go our seperate ways and I feel like that is what is going to happen here.

I feel that although I care about this girl right now I think I need a bit of space and its just another case of bad timing.

But my issue is is that how often is this going to keep happening.. Am i going to wake up one day alone because I never went for it or should I put aside what I feel I need right now to be with this girl?? Is there ever right timing??

Am I being a fool??

ha..nice, just needed a slap in the face..i got it..cheers for that..

Well :


Traveling to another country and being broke for someone requires courage. I sounds unreasonable, but we all do at some points of time this kind of things.


The fact that your potential girlfriend is older it is not an issue.


In fact it all comes to : do you love her enough to take a risk ? When you don't love, or do not care enough, the choice is easy. But I don't know a lot of people who would be so sure in this situation and would jump without thinking. It is normal to hold back, but also if you love that girl it is worth to give it a try.


Big difference between living your life and passing thrue it. You live by making tought decision and taking risks. Not by staying at home and doing nothing.


The reasons you mention could be excuses for being afraid, excuses for yourself. Or they could be valid points.


Just take your time and ask yourself : am I just being afraid, or she is not the right one for me.


Love requires a bit of faith you know. It is not free.

you're only 28. try staying single for an entire year, see how it goes.


as for your former girlfriend: spare her the dubious honor of an ambivalent boyfriend - you *already* feel you will eventually go your separate ways - how sad is that? don't rekindle your relationship with her.