clingy friend

I recently returned from three weeks away (on Wednesday). I told closest friends that I was going away but failed to inform a friend who isnt in that "classification" but obviously thought she was and phoned my husband to get my Aussie ph number and call me there. I was slightly put out that she feel the need to track me down and quiz my mother quite stronlgly whether there was anything wrong. She is one of those friends who take huge offence if you dont call them every day and after not having called her for about a week and a half, asked me what she had done to offend me and had obviously lost sleep over it. I call my friends frequently enough. I was simply busy with my toddler and stuff. She is soooo sensitive and I have heard her talk about dumping friends that have not returned calls or returned playdates. This would all be ok if we didnt live so closely as I regularly bump into her up the street. I was thinking about calling her and just spinning a line about why I didnt call but I feel as tho I'm back at school and playing silly games. I dont care for her friendship as she simply isnt my kind of person. I love low maintenance friends who understand if you are busy or simply pick up the phone and call if you dont. I guess she has done that here. If the truth be known, I guess I am rather uncomfortable with conflict in relationships and I didnt want her to start the "what have I done to offend you" c%$p. And no, it wasnt genuine concern that I had disappeared. My hubby had told her that my brother and his wife were expecting and I went to greet the new baby. And he had told her that there wasnt anything wrong and that (at that stage) I was only away for ten days. Yeah, the easiest thing would have been to have called her from Australia but I just didnt feel the need. Any advice would be appreciated. I dont want to tell her to get over it as I dont want the wrath of her tongue. I got into sufficient "trouble" when I didnt call her to see if she was OK while her husband was on business in Europe for a few days.

Just tell her the truth, that you can't always find time to call all your friends so regularly, and hate to offend people, but hey, what can you do, it just isn't something you find easy to manage, especially when busy with a toddler.


Tell her you so appreciate the friends who don't worry about these things, and may not speak to them for months, and then can pick up the phone like not a day has passed.


If she doesn't like it, it is her choice whether to stay friends or not. She can't force you to do what she wants, she needs to respect your life too. Just try to make it her choice to accept you the way you want to be with her. If she tries to argue and tell you that you are wrong, just say you aren't saying what is right or wrong in friendship, just that is the only way you can be, the only thing you can offer.


OK, I don't have many friends, but those I do have are true friends and we won't speak for 6 mths and pick up where we left off. We are all in different places in work/family but we support each other in that and love each other.

If she dumps friends who don't return her calls then perhaps that's all you need do, then it will look like she dumped the friendship instead of you.

well personally i wouldn't like a clingy friend. You are not in a relationship with her and why should you call her everyday? i think you should make sure that she wasn't a homosexul.lol. Are both of u close friends?

She sounds like a total pain in the arse. If you keep pandering to her she will only get worse. Tell her the truth, you were busy with your family and didn't feel the need to talk to her. If she is one of those women that needs hand-holding everytime hubby goes away, run for the hills. She sounds very high maintaince to me.

Hi all and thank you most sincerely for all your replies. Here's the latest. I ended up calling her the other day to say I had returned. She was oh so nice and perhaps a little insincere in her greeting. I then saw her up the street yesterday and we organised to get together with the kids the following day (obviously today). I told her that I would call her either last night or this morning to organise a time. My mobile rinds at 0754. I didnt hear it - probably in shower or something like that. I call her at 1030. She didnt pick up and then didnt call back. Im sooooo over this bs. I imagine she was p$#sed with me that I dint pick up the phone and honestly, I didnt hear it. We live in the same town and that is the difficult thing or I would dispense with her all together. It's a shame cos she is OK but she is spoiling what could be a good friendship. Is she a good friend darkcrest - nah....she's a pain in the a%$#. Lauren "Keep your friends close and your enemies even closer". Hmmm....Sound advice. Hadnt thought of that. Sub, she is sooo insecure that if I told her that I really dont have the time and not to take it personally, she would all the same. This is going to drive me to the bottle, la.

Lauren - yes I do, I also like to post my thoughts on different topics. If you don't like it, tough.


Georgie - just cut her out. She sounds like a particularly negative person and probably rather energy sapping.

well just dun contact her that much, no need to argue or make a fuss!? You just a friend right? No your mother, hubby or your kids! You both have families and other to take care of, sooner or later she should grow up, but not really you burden to teach her...Georgie, i also think you go on this a bit too much. Is that you obessed as well or what?

"If the truth be known, I guess I am rather uncomfortable with conflict in relationships".


"It's a shame cos she is OK but she is spoiling what could be a good friendship".


Lulu, who said anything about arguing? You've missed the point I'm afraid.


Your quote: "you go on about this a bit too much". Two posts? OK, whatever.

sori, thought you do not want a clingy friend right? miss what point? you wanna educate her or what? just leave her alone, let alone any conversation, is that makes you HAPPIER... ??


must be missing the point again...people here are so complicated, sori for being simple..

come on guys ! a clingy friend is just like any other friend , they just need a little more attention... MB it seems like you had a stalker , thats different .Didn't your mother ever tell you not to run around breaking young girls hearts ???i wish i could be stalked - lucky bastard haha .jj