confused

I entered into my first & only same-sex relationship 8 months ago. at the time it was because we'd shared and initial intense attraction both physcial and mentally. The girl i was seeing was an out and out lesbian, however i was perhaps just experimenting. she calls me straight still... as my attraction is purely only to her. i've never had the same feelings towards any other woman - and i still find myself looking at men. our first 6 months were awesome and we fell madly in love. a deep emotional love.


however lately things are not smooth. mainly due to my reluctance to tell my family and friends which my girlfriend wants me to do. and more and more im looking at my male friends who are contsantly asking me out...in a sexual way... contemplating how easy life would be with them if i ended my current relationship and resumed a "traditional" relationship with a man.


i love my girlfriend to death, but we're coming to a crossroad where she wants me to start accepting our relationship in public, or we will have to part ways. this will break both our hearts are deep down we know we are right for each other.


i just don't know what to do. stay with the one i love and try to accept who i am... or end it and resume a relationship with a man.


i've been in this relationship where i live with my girlfriend for 8 motnhs now, and no one knows about it... except her family and friends. she wants me to out myself... whcih i don't know if i can.

What consequences are you afraid of if and when you come out? Is your partner worth getting over that fear?


Take time out to examine what will ultimately make you happy and go for it.

Yes it's definately more of an emotional relationship. my girlfriend is also very insecure (not that i blame her) - as she knows im attracted to men primarily, and worries as she thinks they can offer things that she can't. i reassure her that she shouldn't worry , but she still can't help it and constantly has "gos at me" when we are in public and i innocently look at men. she thinks i am straying.


but that's not the main issue, it's about why im too afraid to tell my family & friends.


and if i ever can.


i don't want to end the relationship - but it is very strained because of this. perhaps i just wonder if there are others out the in the same situation?

Thanks guys. you are all saying things i have thought myself.


Yes - i don't want to be thought of as a dyke

No - i don't want to hurt her


and the harder thing is... there are 3 other guys who im close with (they don't know im with a women) that i could very happily have a relationship with... but there is just something strong that i also can't let go of with my girlfriend.


It's a terrible situation. I'm in a relationship with a girl, but i am refusing to believe and recognise it and what it is.


How can i also reassure my girlfriend that me not telling anyone at all about us... has nothing to do with her. she thinks it cos im ashamed. it's just that i haven't accepted it myself..that's why i havn't said anything. at the time she says she understands it...but then she keeps bringing it up.

well, you already said it, deep down you two know that you are right for each other. so i think the main thing you have to really sort out is whether you can accept that you are a dyke. really assess yourself and when you have come to accept who/what you really want to be, it will easier for you to face your family / hurt your gf.

Thanks The 13th Apostle - appreciated your lengthy response and thoughts... i read what everyone is saying and i nod my head.


how can i help myself to accept the situation? so i cna move forward in my relationship which is what my girlfriend is needing.


is it a time thing...or will one day i just snap and decide?!??!


ahhh... just seems so difficult and that im facing it alone. i know im not, but it's what it feels like.