Choices...one girl or the other?

Hey everybody,


Ok, so, the title kind of says it all, but I'm finding myself in a bit of a pickle...


I'm 27 and right now there are two girls in my life that I like a whole lot.


One of them, I have known for over a year and she's 28. She's very pretty and sexy and attracts guys like a magnet. Most of them, however are just trying to get into her pants, which is not what she's looking for. We were just friends for a long time, but in recent months I started really feeling for her and told her about it. I always treated her well and when she had some serious problems recently, I was at there for her, which really moved her. But still, she is keeping me at a distance. She's very picky about everything and downright selfish at times, but she has slowly thawed over time.


Then, about three weeks ago, I met another girl who is also very beautiful, but much younger (21). Right from the start, we got along well and she is really, really sweet. She let me know she liked me a lot soon after and some of the things she does for me are really moving. I told her I had been seeing someone else for a long time, but she said it was ok as I didn't have a relationship with the first girl. She's just so sweet and cute that I can't help but want to cuddle her, but at the same time, I don't want to rush in and hurt her feelings before I sort my own feelings out.


Basically, I'm unsure of what to do next.... I could do the bad boy thing and lie, cheat etc. with one while I don't tell the other, but I'm pretty sure I can't be that evil. I certainly won't do anything with the second girl unless I mean it.


But I'm unsure about girl one... I spent so much time and effort on her and know her really well. And despite our problems before, I still like her a lot. I think it may be a good idea to tell her the truth, maybe partly because it may push her to make a decision. And I guess you only appreciate what you're missing when it's gone.


Honestly tho, all things considered, I'm not even sure if I want her all that much anymore if this new girl really is as cool as she seems to be.


So, am I right in wanting to be honest with both of them? Any thoughts and suggestions are really welcome.

is this you again, under a new alias?


http://hongkong.asiaxpat.com/forums/relationships/threads/80163.asp


at least you've cut the "sweet-but-chubby, no-sparks one" loose

Bleugh!!!!


I'm sorry but your inane twitterings about these two girls are just too sickly for words.


Perhaps you should look at the situation from a different perspective:


Girl 1 - likes you as a friend but is not interested in you.


Girl 2 - is young and naive and thinks your fab.


Sounds like an easy choice to me.


Now please stop talking about 'cute' things and 'cuddling', you're putting me off my muffin.

I like giants response, but I'm 28 and was in the same scenrio last year. I did the honest thing and went for girl two which worked very well for six months (until my move to HK), we're still friends now so I'm pleased for that at least.


Girl one for me was coming out of some 'stupid' relationship, in the endache wasn't worth it. I don't know the details but would pick number two... age in Asia isn't relevant!

Aijin - I am just trying to enjoy a nice choccie muffin and a cuppa. Has been a long day.

That was meant to read - Girl one was just a large headache, seriously, don't go there mate.


You're 27 in Asia, younger the better (without being a perv)girl 2.

I threatened to quit once and she cried as she held my hands. But later, things went back to normal.


On the criteria thing, yeah, there are tons.... it's why she's still single after a breakup 3 years ago, despite lots of attention from other men. She's the kind of girl every guy wants to sleep with, but nobody wants as a girlfriend.


Girl 2 is truly wonderful; I just feel a little...uh predatory being 6 years older (and more experienced) than she is. I know this is Asia, but.... Anyhow, I know this is right, just need to do it....

I agree with JC. My fella is 9 yrs older than me and we are on the same wavelength.


At 21 this girl should have some experience of men unless she is a nice local girl and has had a rather sheltered upbringing. In that case, tread carefully.