Posted by
Rimbaud
18 yrs ago
Here's one for the opinionated...
My wife and I have been married for a number of years. Recently (over the past couple of years) I have gradually come to the painful conclusion that my love for my wife is gone. We have three great kids whom I love very much, and I can't contemplate being without. At the same time I find it difficult to reconcile myself to living out the remainder of my life without romantic love. This is my season in hell...Appreciate all wisdom.
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shaq
18 yrs ago
See a therapist/psycholigist if you've not completely given up. Goodluck, dude!!
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hmmm, it's very rare to hear of a man mourning the loss of romantic love. sorry to hear of your situation Rimbaud. may i ask if you at least feel the love of friendship for your wife? or is all emotion dead - are you indifferent? what about your wife, how does she feel about you?
i assume that divorce is not an option for the kids' sake - therefore as shaq says therapy or counseling may be your answer. whatever the case, rekindling old passions requires a lot of hard WORK. best of luck.
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Thanks, shaq and VOR. I do feel a great deal of sympathy for my wife, and to be honest, if there was a pill I could take to make me love my wife again, I would probably overdose.
I despair, though, because I don't think any rekindling is likely. Before I got married, I would always know when a relationship had come to an end. It was very clear. I have that feeling now. Except now the consequences are so much more far reaching, and involve "innocent bystanders" whose lives should not be marred by adult selfishness.
I believe my wife still cares for me, and revealing how I feel would in all likelihood devastate her.
So, I guess the odds are stacked against me...
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Tough but basic question: Do you want to save your marriage?
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bdi
18 yrs ago
If you do want to make it work I am sure you can rekindle love. www.marriagebuilders.com would be a good website to browse around. Goodluck!
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Claire, you ask an unanswerable question. Do I want to save the concept of marriage, ie. the concept of a harmonious family, where members enjoy each other's company? Yes, absolutely. Do I want to save my one-on-one relationship with my wife? No, I don't think so. We have have become very different people, and I don't see a reversal on the horizon.
What I really want is to want to save my marriage. Does that make sense?
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Rimbaud,
I feel your pain. I was in the same situation and the depair was killing me. My wife was loving and caring. Really, she was ( and still is ) a wonderful person. And yet no matter what I tried, including counseling, I could not get myself to re-kindle the fire. There was a child involved and I did not want to disrupt the seemingly perfect family life that we enjoyed. And it was a very comfortable life. But despite all of that, I could not make myself continue in a relationship where I just did not have any passion. We had been together for 18 years, so i fully relaize that passion will fade, but to completely disappear? That is more than I can accept.
And like you, if there was a magic remedy out there that I could have taken to make this all go away, I would have jumped on it in a New York minute. The last thing I wanted to do was cause pain for someone who still loved me dearly. That was the worst part. But I kept rationalizing it this way....Doesn't she deserve to be with someone who will love her the way she deserves to be loved? It is a weak argument, but I still maintain that there is a grain of truth in that.
I will follow this thread closely. It definitely hits close to home. And I wish you the very best outcome possible.
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this site really does beat a good book at bedtime . something to cuddle up with and feel safe . (like relationships). In the next episode we find out the wife has been having affairs with three of his best friends for years, waiting for him to come out of it .
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this site really does beat a good book at bedtime . something to cuddle up with and feel safe . (like relationships). In the next episode we find out the wife has been having affairs with three of his best friends for years, waiting for him to come out of it .
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DR, I also think that my wife fully deserves to be loved in a way that I am now incapable of, but I am fully aware that it is I who is experiencing change and therefore should bear responsibility for the outcome. How did your situation evolve?
nietzsche, interesting theory which frankly hadn't crossed my mind. You post it twice to really, really get your point across? ;
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Rimbaud , I find typing on these new fangled machines so difficult , spelling errors , grammar mistakes , everything . I`m used to musing in the swiss mountains etc. So when i clicked "send" it didn`t work , so I just kept on clicking .
No but really I sympathize . Didn`t you ever think a long time ago that relationships were the most dangerous things that you could get mixed up in !!! literally mixed up . not safe havens .I feel like that all the time .
The earth under your feet could just split open and swallow you , a rock from space could end civilization , or you could , even more terrible and terrifying , have a passionate relationship with a woman .
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Rimbau, I agree with Tangerine.
In a relationship there are so many kind of "love". At the start it is passionate, exciting, adventourous because it is all new. Time goes on and you get to know each other, love changes to trust and familiarity. Love grows from its more superficial, exciting to a more stronger and deeper character.
I am getting angry when I read I dont love my wife anymore. Hello? You have kids and must have experienced so much together. There is love. Don't give that up. I mean you say you would like to work on it but I can not feel that in your words. Of course passion disappears. Nobody feels the butterflies the whole life long. That is not possible because you know each other too good BUT you can build passion moments. Why dont you try to talk to your wife, be honest with each other, but put some effort in it!! I can not believe how many divorces we have just because people dont like to commumicate and make commitments. Will it be different in a new realationship?! Yes, maybe in the beginnings...that is not the solution.
I really hope you will not just give up so easily.
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Rinbaud- I think you still love and believe in your marriage and commentiment to your wife. I say this because you would not have taken the time to write this thread and ask people for their thoughts. You sound smart enough to know this might be work but for the good of your family- TRY! Your relationship will be rewarding if you stop removing yourself emotionally from your family and jump back into the game. Go on a family vacation and make sure the hotel has a babysiter available so you and your wife can spend some time together. Trust me when I tell you I wish my husband would have jumped back in our marriage then get a girlfriend. The intensity of a new relationship will always an end but every partner needs to take a turn at keeping the spark alive. My friend, take a turn and light the candle- who knows this could be the beginning of a new phase of your marriage.
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Rimbaud,
U sound ur wife a total diff person now for u to rekindle any passion. May i ask sth.? Wat&when&how made u guys start to be so diff people in the first place? Did u do sth. when a small gap came in front of u guys? No offense, "a marriage w/o love is sin," but is there anything else u expect fm a marriage? Further, if u plan to end the marriage, except being afraid of hurting ur wife and kids, wat else makes u hesitate? An outside motivation? Again, sorry if it sounds offensive...
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Let me try to elucidate by responding to the above posts:
Aijin, my wife thinks I am depressed because I am going through a phase, and that there is light at the end of the tunnel. She thinks this because that's what I have told her. I have not told her that I no longer feel any love for her for two reasons: 1) I know it would devastate her and poison every minute of her life as well as the harmony of the family, and 2) I, too, have been living in the hope that this is just a phase and that things would return to normal, in which case having told her would just have caused unnecessary grief.
T2 and the Maid, you seem to say love is a verb, and you just do it. Feel is also a verb, but how you feel is usually beyond your control. That's the issue here, I do not feel love for my wife; I don't feel attracted to her, mentally, spiritually, physically. No matter how hard I try, it just isn't there. Believe me when I say I really wish it were. And believe me also when I say I am not giving up easily. I have been dealing with this for over two years now, and I am still here, still no dramatic plans, just pretty sad...
blueyes, we have tried the vacation thing, etc. It just does not lift my spirits. I do not particularly want to spend time alone with my wife. My kids, absolutely, but not my wife.
All, I started this thread to hear people's views on whether it is possible to remain in what has become a loveless relationship (at last for one party) and still be sufficiently content not to contaminate the lives of all those around. If I can believe that, then that's OK. It just that right now it seems bloody unlikely.
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Rimbaud, I'm writing not from a view of a wife. But rather from the view of a daughter. My parents went and are still through something similar to what you're going through. Dad led his own life and mom did her own thing. At one point of time, they were heading for a divorce and honestly, I was really happy for that, i was 9 at that time. I had enough of the constant bickering, screaming, fighting and the sh*t that was happening....They went of marital counselling and they did not get a divorce. Things became better but for just a little while. And soon, dad had and still have his girlfriend and mom had her share of boyfriends. Fast forward, when i was 26, dad wanted a divorce and mom went through numerous of her sucidal attempts, she's still alive now. Dad stayed on....But he goes away overseas for bulk of the time, what i suspect as a ploy to stay away from her. Do i hate my dad and mom....Well, we would be so much better off if both of them divorced. Do i hate my dad's girlfriend? Well, she gave dad happiness when mom couldn't do the job....
So what am i trying to say...If things do not work out no matter how much you try, explain to your wife and your children and figure out what's best for both of you and the children. Most parents think by staying together, they're doing their children a favour, but for me, it did not
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Tangerine too, sadly it's not possible to choose how you feel. Yes, you can go through the motions - you can do all the things people in love do, but if you don't really feel it then it isn't going to work.
Rimbaud, sent you a PM.
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Rimbaud if you are sure, and it sounds as though you are, that you no longer love your wife then perhaps you should suss out how she is feeling herself. She must suspect something by now. I don't mean to sound naive, but would an amicable divorce be possible with shared access to the kids, or would your wife fight you on access? You can't carry on living your life and feeling like this and surely your wife would be appalled to think you stayed with her just because you were too worried to hurt her feelings? It is very scary to walk away from a marriage, but if the love has gone for sure, it only seems fair to be honest with your wife.
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Have an affair. After a while you will realsie your best back at home. Romantic love is one thing mutual respect is more worythwhile. Be worried if you do not respect your wife anymore
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right, because having an affairs going to make him feel a lot better?? He loves his wife, he is just not IN love with her. The reason he doesn't want to tell her is because she'll be so hurt, do you really think an affair will add a positive note to things?
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Talk to your wife. You should have done that a long time ago. Doesn't she have a right to know what is going on? Of course the truth will hurt, but it will hurt even more when you make your own decicion and one day you tell her, you are moving out. She wil be shocked and even more angry because you didn't trust her and didn't have the courage to tell her.
Dont solve your problems alone, she is a part of it and has a right to know. First she will maybe have a breakdown but when time goes on and with support from friends. You 2 could figure out a way and try to find a solution. For every feeling there is a reason!!!!!! Find out the reason!TOGETHER!!!!!But she has a right to know what is going on especially after two years of doubts. It would hurt me even more if my husband doesn't talk about his feelings with me. I think communication it is the most important thing in a relationship.
(And TRUST: Sex with an other woman is not fair unless you talked with your wife about it and she agreed on it....)
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Rimbaud> I said my question of a couple of days ago was tough. (Do you want to save your marriage?)
Millions of couples will continue a non-romantic marriage for years, sometimes for the "sake of the children", sometimes because they are too afraid of what next.
Such a marriage is ultimately a lonely one. You could concentrate on family time, instead of husband-wife time. But you would be putting up a front of falsehoods. You could, as many here have suggested, have an extra-marital affairs (even just a romantic platonic one) but wouldn't that deception be a bigger devastation to your wife than the lie you are living with now.
Marriage and similar relationships are about falling in love - again and again and again. You've already done this. The time she said "I do". The time she told you she was pregnant. The time you kissed her after the birth of your children. Yes, we fall in love again and again. But it appears, for you, this no longer happens.
You said, "What I really want is to want to save my marriage". This does make sense. I feel the romantic love lost towards your wife has been redirected to an almost romantic view of family life. But for you, this "harmonious" family life is weighted against the misery you feel at what you have lost, but still need.
So yes. You can have a marriage without romantic love but you have to accept that you will not have the romantic love you desire and you will be alone in this relationship.
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Rititt: What do you mean there is no point talking to his wife. She has a right to know. She gets hurt anyway. I rather would face the truth than the lie!!! Being married is a commitment, two become one. Of course she wants to know.
I totally agree with observatory. He made a very good point and the whole story is a bit confusing and flimsy to me too. How can you live with a lie that long and yes right convinced her so that she has no clue at all what is going on?
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WOW that is a scary comment! Please dont generalize men's desire.
Look, with honesty you can reach more in live and does not make you look like a monster. Lies are wrong. I think to speak late is better than never, but the communication between those two should have started already years ago, taht is right...
But anyway I would love to see rimbaud take part of our discussion again. Where are you?
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justin credulous - 100%!
Tangerine too - feel free to stop by the real world and visit sometime. Can't you accept that people change, situations change, feelings change? When you make that commitment at the start of a relationship no-one knows how they're going to feel in 1, 2, 10, 20 years time. For some it works and keeps on working. For others it doesn't. Staying with someone through several loveless years trying to work it out isn't a lack of commitment, nor does it sound like a "throw away" relationship. It's just change. It happens in every aspect of life, and sometimes it is painful to deal with.
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Hey Rimbaud,sorry my friend that is a problem you have. Like many others I can relate to it. I too like many others, was in a long term relationship, but no kids. For the bulk of it I was extremely happy, even though when I think back it was mostly me who was doing the work. But 2 years ago after 2 years of the relationship struggling. I found myself in the same position as you. I loved her but wasn't in love. This tore me apart because I didn't want to hurt anyone and the pain I felt in my heart at the thought of saying goodbye was killing me. But I decided that I have one life, this is no rehearsal, no repeats. I decided to part from my wife because I came to the conclusion that we had tried everything and it wasn't happening. So the options were, carry on and hate the site of each other,or tell the truth of what I was feeling and seperate. It was a tough time and it has taken a long time for the wounds to heal. But I think it was for the best. We were both stil young enough to move on. I am happy. I have another love and I am so happy. The ex wife also has a new love and from what I have heard she is happy. Even though she hated me at the time for breaking up, mainly because I think she realised she was taking me for granted and it was her that could of saved it. She seems to be happy now and has moved on. So I guess what I am trying to say is, FEAR turns to Anger, Anger turns to hate and hate turns to violence. If you are scared to tell her the truth you will start to get angry. Better to be cruel to be kind. I am sure she is not daft and senses it also. The solution to your problem? A break perhaps to make sure what you are feeling is correct, because it is a lot to loose if it is just itchy feet, but it is also a lot to spoil and loose if you stay to long and it turns to hate. I wish you all the best of luck and remember time does heal, you will have a scar, but then such is life.
I noticed a comment from Tangerine too. Incase you haven't noticed this is a forum where one can voice there opinion, give advice. As for JC comments being harsh? I don't beleive so. They are are honest and probably come from life experience and wisdom. To those who have security problems and aren't mature and live in a dream world; JC comments could be considered as strong
Well all the best
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Sorry JC - but I can't resist pointing out the irony of a triple-divorcee still in her 20's stating her belief in commitment and the institution of marriage.
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another thread hijacked by the usual i-me-myself-and-my-own-happiness crowd...
Rimbaud is not in an abusive relationship.
he is no longer in love with his wife, BUT he does not want to lose his children - a desire which in in direct conflict with his utter lack of desire to save his relationship with his wife, whom he nevertheless has no wish to hurt.
hey Rimbaud - feel free to jump in anytime and set us straight/answer questions.
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amazing how the self-centered automatically assume it's all about them, and...hijack a thread!
...observatory, for the record, i do agree with you: i think he is a coward, but people do get paralyzed by fear, and they don't want to face the consequences. i think Rimbaud is stuck between a rock and a hard place - that doesn't mean i agree with how he's handling it, but i do understand wanting to stay together for the sake of the kids. my ex-husband wanted to. in retrospect, we are both glad we didn't - we might have actually ruined ours if we did.
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our mighty JC said 'I believe in love, I believe in commitment and I believe in the institution of marriage, that doesnt mean I am blinded by it all. '
nevertheless she jumped into 3 wrong marriages with emotionally stunted/abusive spouses..
enough said.
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yeah, maintain hope and faith, and stay unblinded..
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Rimbaud, you said "I do feel a great deal of sympathy for my wife".
I feel for you as and it's a sad situation but honestly, I think I can speak for most women when I say that I would hate the idea of waking up beside a husband every day who feels nothing for me but sympathy. I would be horrified.
If you are absolutely certain that there is nothing she could do to make you fall in love again then you need to get out of it and as someone rightly said give her the chance of finding the person who can feel more than that for her.
Out of curiosity, where did it all go wrong? Boredom? Routine? Has she changed? Do you think you were ever really soul mates in the first place?
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when love is gone....it is gone....i made the choice to get divorce after trying for more than 3yrs to find back the love...it was the best decision i have ever made and now i am happy....he is happy (he wasnt happy when i insisted the divorce)...and yes, there is a kid involved in my case...
in my opinion...there is always choice in life...it is the aftermath of the choice you made that you have to face (kids, family members, mutual friends etc)...so ask youself, are you strong enough to face the aftermath? And the next important question is, are you sure you will be happier after the divorce? Maybe the real reason you are unhappy now has nothing to do with your love for your wife...maybe it is something else. Mid-life crisis? Stress from work?? Just a thought...
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Hey Rimbaud, I have been following your thread to see if any progress or good advice has been given, (not that I am anything more than a caring individual that hopes you find your way, because I have been through it too like many others). But I am sorry to say that, yes there has been some members giving some good advice and opinions, helping you look at your situation from different directions. Some of the more immature bored, self righteous members seem to of taken the opportunity to turn this into a “slagging match” of other members, giving, what seems like personal details over the internet. To those who are guilty of this; PLEASE note. We are here to help this unfortunate guy through a tough part in his life. WE accomplish this by giving OUR advice from OUR PAST EXPERIENCE or opinion based on LOGIC. A wise man once said “ If one has nothing good to say that will contribute, KEEP YOUR TRAP SHUT”
Rimbaud, there is normally a lot of good, helpful, and wise advice here on this website. I gained a lot of help from this website when I was lost a few months ago. So please don’t be put off by some immature individuals. The main purpose of this site it to let you know you are not alone. It is also a good place to gather information from other peoples experience to help you choose the correct path for you.
In support to some of the other posts, which I know is correct from past experience also; COMMUNICATION is a MUST. You have to tell her what you feel; regardless if you love her or not, HONESTY is always the best. Who knows it might make you realise how good a thing you have. As the saying goes “you never know what you have until you are about to loose it”
Anyway all the best and I hope we hear from you soon
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I have been without an internet connection for a few days while transplanting myself to a land far away for the annual leave. Reading what has been posted here while I have been away, I must say I am quite overwhelmed by the volume and vitriolic nature of the exchanges. Some posts are sensible and reflected, but a lot of them are just uninformed and show clearly that the writers have not read the thread.
When I have a bit more time I will revert with a more in depth response to some of the posts. Currently, I am trying to put in some quality time with my family. OMG, this is starting to feel like work!
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Staying in a relatioship with no love is a waste of time. I did so for over 2 years, thinking of my son. I did learn the hard way though that we offer our kids the wrong idea about life. It is NOT normal for 2 loving parents to be together if there are no longer feelings for each other. Sooner or later a third person will show up in the picture, not that it was me who had it but i does happens. I am glad it is all over and my son can see me happy now. There will be pain at the beginning but I am certain that your wife will thank you in the future. Be a man and walk away.
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i read all the letters and comments, i been married for 10yrs, but after that feelings was dead. 100% no more, same as my partner, we both dont love each other, i have 3 children and i am trying to protect the relationship for sake of the kids, but after pretending to all the eyes of people that we still love each other, i gave up, what is married for if you dont love each other? why you want to pretend if its not really necessary,? if you really feel burned on your ralationship try to breathe, away from your wife and make your decision to your self, all the advise here is to give you a guide, but you still need to follow what you feel and what you really want to your life. in my case, i had enough for being pretened, now im with my kids and they accept the fact of me being separated, rather than they always feel the tension at home.... remember kids are more sense of feelings than adult........
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I am allways coming back and read some more of the people'comment. But maybe I should't... It makes me sad and sometimes angry. What is going on out there? I am not blaming somebody who feels the love is gone but I am blaming somebody who is not honest to their partners. Hello??? This is just weak and it makes that person (in my opinion) a big idiot!!!! People who think like that dont even deserve a person who cares for them. They dont understand what is a relationship about. And to try to make it work we need COMMUNICATION, RESPECT & HONESTY.
Try to hide something is repectless and foolish. Even if you now dont love you partner anymore you once did and they diserve at least respect! And we are lucky and have a voice and can discuss things out.
Please can somebody open a threat who is still in love, faithful and honest after several years. I really need a love story!!!!!!!
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bdi
18 yrs ago
Royster...."capable and generous with love"
... or lust?
I'm wondering if you are mixing the two. If you truly love someone you will want to be honest and face the music than deceive. What guarantee do you have that your parner will never know about your mistress and perhaps child.
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ACFHK
18 yrs ago
Rimbaud, have you had an affair? Are you about to? Why did you get married in the first place? How long have you been married?
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The Maid- your request for a true and happy love story. No one I know. In my group of friends- I have one friend who had 8 affairs on his wife ( he just left her and his two children), a friend who just left her husband for mental abuse, a friend who just had a 'good time' at a bachelor's party (and he is married), so in my circle of friends- including myself (my husband left for another woman)- Nope! Sorry!
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Hi Rimbaud, I was married for 10 years I was also married at a young age and have to wonderful children. 4years ago i felt like you empty not knowing my partner. The love had gone. I explained to him my feeling we had great discussions. He coudldn't see how or why it had gone. But I could I had grown up and away from him. His touch used to send my skin in to prickles. He tried for a few months ,we did councelling, we went on romantic weekends were we tried so so hard. But in the end I left. Our two girls have coped they have had there ups and downs but they know we love them both dearly and we can show them that apart. My ex husband and i never faught in our marriage and never raised our voices at each other still we do not. The affair is not the way it will hurt to many people and if you go for a divorce your wife will find out and use it against you. My point is you will not find love again straight away you will find affection empty affection. You may even get that first date buzz. But after a while like i have you will find some one special who you can truly love and be with and all the lessons you have learnt along the way and reflection. you will know how to keep this love alive. " The little things". My girls are happy and yes I live in Aussie and my partner has just moved to HK with work and yes we are still madly in love. You children will cope and adapt, children do that. I hope you find the answers you are looking for but life is ajourney enjoy it, live it breathe it.x
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RD>
u r right, dont blame everything on hormones, male health issue or whatever makes u feel better. Since it is a strain for u to have one sex partner, u should have as many sex partners as you wish, so long as u do not restrain your mistress or gfs or ONS gfs from sleeping with others at the same time. I believe they have female hormones issues like you do.
oh...does your mistress know you have cheated on her? i am just thinking, since u think it is a strain for you to have just one woman, then why do u keep a mistress/gf in the first place? why dont u just be unattached? doesnt it make life easier for you?
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RD - that is the biggest cop out for not being able to keep your pants on I have ever heard. You are not kidding anyone besides yourself.
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RD> Thanks for making me laugh on a Monday morning. In evolutionary terms, you would be past your sell-by date. If you had survived all the dangerous hunts, your injuries would have sitting on the sidelines. No woman would want a man who could not provide for offspring. No matter how sexually virile he may believe himself to be, he would not be able to compete with those young studs around.
You are fortunate to live in a time when more women are financially independent and are not looking for a provider, but just sex. BTW, the kind of risky behaviour you are "enjoying" suggests you should be saving for a fancy red sports car...
LOL
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Topol
18 yrs ago
RD: Your posts are quite inspirational as they show how easy it is to f*ck things up. I'm married with a kid and don't know how you could
a) gamble the well-being of your kid
b) live with all the porkies you must be telling to your wife and kid.
Don't get me wrong I'm no angel ... there is a fair amount of s*it on my wings...but I hope you realise that you are heading for disaster before it's too late.
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No hatred. Just incredulity at his rationalization. He sleeps with multiple women for health reasons????
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Primrose, I completely support your comments. I learned; married to someone like RD; that lies, cheating and other traits are part of a mental disorder. In fact it is so sad that in their sick minds these individuals do feel like victims of all humankind. They are easy going and do not have to make an effort to manipulate anyone. What goes around comes around. I loved my ex more than myself and he did kill every feeling I had. I could not compare my ex to a dog because that would be an insult to the animal because dogs do not bite the hand who feeds them. I feel sorry for RD's wife becuase she does have to live what I did. Once again RD if there is any love for your kids leave her so she can be happy.
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Topol
18 yrs ago
It seems a bit strong to say that RD has a 'mental disorder','sick',or a 'dog' maybe weak or selfish would be more accurate.
Well RD the guilt would come not from the actual extra curricula but from lying and deceiving your wife (who may well have put two and two together) and the potential harm you putting your kids under.
There may be some subconscious reason for your actions - maybe you want out of your marriage but don't want to initiate the split. I dunno you'll have to work that one out.
I have been in the a similar situation but pulled back as I saw that the consequences would damage too many innocent people.
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rats
18 yrs ago
Tangerine- guess it is not only sex addiction as RD did say he has feeling and loves his mistress.
RD- you really want to change? well, 'self-discipline/control' may ring the bell? you can stop yourself from doing sth not because you feel guilty doing it. simply you know you 'should not' according to the norms and your wife's standard. You don't have to argree with the rules/laws but you can simply follow!! ;)
There is no strange action separating guilty and action as the guilt is never there. It is no surprise that you don't feel the guilt as long as you are not hurting anyone.
I have nothing against you (as you can see my comments above). BUT what really bugs me is that you try to rationalise things with 'health issues/human nature' and you are doing the 'right' thing for the sake of your health. Anyone with some science background or common sense will find those reasons BS. Pleeeeeeeease, save it! just admit it is what you like as Aijin did. It is ok...really...
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The kind of risky sexual behaviour RD is engaging in is a form of sensation seeking and can stem from a number (or combination of) things. Childhood sexual abuse, alcohol/drug abuse, depression, post-traumatic stress. Or are you following in dad's footsteps?
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rats
18 yrs ago
RD- you cheat because you want more childern???
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Royter,no offense but I would certainly seek the help of a psychiatrist. Do some research and Good luck.
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