Posted by
thorn-bird
18 yrs ago
I am just having a troubled mind. I met this American man two months ago and we start to fall for each other. I again in my life feel that I could be happy. For a long time I have felt that I am cursed in terms of love and happiness. He is staying in my city for 4 years due to work then will return to US. He has asked me several times whether I could move back to US with him. My problem is that I lived in US for a few years before and married a US citizen there and he applied for residency for me. The marriage did not work out then I came back to my country. With this past experience if I and this man end up getting married, immigration issue could be a little more complicated. I really like this person now and have been living with fear that I would complicate his life by marrying him but having to separate from him in the future. I talked a little about my past with him before but last night I sent him a long email explaining what had happened. I told him that I would totally understand if he wants to save the trouble and walk away now. But I am in pain.
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did you get properly divorced from your first husband?
also, are you sure this new man is serious about marriage? you've known him for two months, and according to you he asked you to move to the u.s., not marry him.
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Yes properly divorced. He asked me if we get married whether I could move back to US with him because he wont be able to live in my country permanently. Whether we do end up being together or not, I just feel it fair for him to know what he is stepping into.
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yes, that was the right thing to do. best of luck - please let us know what happens.
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thorn-bird, don't worry about your previous residency application - you are properly divorced, and you came back to china instead of staying on in the u.s. if you and your bf do get married ,all you need is a good immigration lawyer for a new petition - you'll be fine.
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I guess I have lost him. He did not talk with me since I sent out the email. That is ok.
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Yeah, I don't see any big problem here. If he hasn't replied to your email or called, just call him up to see what he thinks. If you're thinking to marry this man already, there should be nothing you can't talk about face to face. Plus you get a more genuine response that way. Personally, I think you haven't stepped out of your long term fear. You're simply letting minor problems get in the way by making them bigger than they are. Try not to complicate things now. He's gonna be living in your city for four years. Plenty of time to sort things out.
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You have already been married,went through a divorce and consider marrying a stranger you have just known for 2 months???? What is wrong with you???
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hey I am not marrying him now. I just let him know the past and see whether he can accept it. If he cant, we better not waste each other's time and move on to find somebody else. I dont see anything wrong with it.
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As per your thread: "I would complicate his life by marrying him " he must have asked you to marry him and you have considered it. I imagine you are aware that you would not be able to stay in USA unless you process your immigration papers accordingly.
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I am very aware of the immigration process. We are getting along very well and sometimes can not help thinking a little ahead and talking about future that is it. I am not planning to get married in 2 years.
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oh I forgot to mention...we talked the second day and everything is fine. He is not taking it negatively...we would have plenty of time to figure out what we will do about it and our future. Plus I did not say that I would definitely marry him. It is basically a matter of being honest before too late.
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