Acceptable White Lies?

I started dating someone recently and things are mostly good. However I found out that he's told me two white lies. If you were me, would you overlook them?


#1

He said he would be here indefinitely, as long as his company wants him and/or he wants to stay. The truth is, he's here on contract and it ends in 1-2 months. However he likes it here and is trying to find a job. He had in fact attended an interview a few days ago.


#2

He said he knocks off regularly at 6pm. However he actually clocks in a lot of overtime.


He was introduced to me by a friend and he told that friend that he lied about these because he thought I'd write him off as boyfriend material otherwise. He says he really likes me and hopes to have a relationship with me. Which is very sweet of course :)


But I can't help but be bothered that he would lie to me... and how easily he pulled it off. If it were you, would you be concerned?

hi trix, i don't know if i would classify these as lies - i don't think he means anything malicious by these statements.


some people (actually, most people!) are just not accurate, but they do not have any intention to mislead or malign. what he stated to you where his objectives - he just didn't give you details as to how he was going about them.


as your friend told you, he likes you a lot and would like to pursue a romantic relationship with you. he didn't want to scare you off right away by saying "my contract is up in two months" and "i work a lot of overtime". what would your reaction have been then? maybe you wouldn't give him a chance?


Kylie25 is definitely right in what he COULD have said. but next time, ask him more detailed questions in response to his statements - make it easier for him to give you the information you need to know.


:-) hope it works out for you!

hi vor, you're right, I might not have given him a chance. But still, there's some risk involved- it should be easy for him to find a job here given his qualifications and experience but there are no guarantees. I felt that he should have allowed me to decide for myself whether I wanted a serious relationship, how much I wanted to invest of myself in the beginning etc. Because my feelings would also be involved here.


I asked him about these white lies by the way. He lied to me a second time and denied them :( But he called my friend, the guy who introduced us, in a panic when I refused to speak to him, to ask him what he should do. My friend asked him to lay his cards on the table and see what I say. But he's off on a business trip and won't be back for a while. So we'll have to see what happens...


Kylie25 has a point. I'm a little wary of him because he was a natural in lying and I'm not sure how much I can trust him. If this is one-off, I can accept it. But what if this becomes a pattern?