Posted by
snuffles
18 yrs ago
In the past few months I've had quite a few guys chat to me in bars, etc. and then ask for my number. Even though I was only mildly interested in most of them, I obliged because, hey, I'm not seeing anyone, it might be fun to go out for a dinner or drinks, blah, blah.
But here's the kicker. None of them ever call. At the begining I was giving my number out from mild interest and a feeling of social obligation, but more recently it's just to confirm this behaviourial pattern. And I just wanted to ask: why ask for a girl's number when you have no intention of calling? It seems like such a pointless exercise to me. I've tried asking my male friends but they're all adament that they do not practise this non-calling number collection.
Is it because you feel it is the polite thing to do? I.e. that the girl you've been chatting to would be offended if you don't make the gesture?
Or is it because you like to have a collection of girls' numbers as a sign of your manhood? Something to demonstrate your irresistability?
Or maybe you wake up sober the next day and think, "Eeeeeeew! What was I thinking?"
Or perhaps you're just to shy to dial that number?
Why? This is such a men are from Mars thing to me.
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Guys usually go to bars and clubs in groups and some of them play a game, it's called "See how many phone numbers you can get".
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That, Clearminded, prompts the question "Did she win?"
;-)
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Clearminded> Whatever the voting, you're a winner... and, strangely, also a loser at the same time.
;-0
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cym
18 yrs ago
giving numbers to random guys you will always end up feeling like random!!
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next time say, why dont you give me YOUR number instead?
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balzac - I don't take numbers because I haven't met one I'm interested enough in to call yet. I'm too shy to do the initial chase, so I'd have to be REAAAAAALLY interested to make the first call. And I'm rarely that interested. See, I don't take numbers when I don't intend to call. And I don't give my number out at all if I have zero intention of answering. Makes sense, no? All logical and stuff. Being both open minded and practical.
What's the difference between a mobile no. and an email address? If a guy asked for my email I'd just think they were a bit dorky.
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I wouldn't ask for a woman's number if I wasn't really interested in her...
But, mind you...I don't really ask for numbers much anymore cause I have gotten shy over time and don't like to get shot down...so I usually will give a woman my business card and ask her to email me...and if she does...then I will start to take the initiative (^o^)v
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Then she doesn't...
I guess I loose out for not being more assertive...and maybe she looses out too for not emailing back...
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don't panic, snuffles. Enjoy your night out, be happy to give your no. out or not. Calling or not is their choices as they might or might not miss a chance to get to know an unique girl as you. Don't let the expectation eat up the good time you should enjoy and the right one to call...
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Maybe they get the impression that you're not really interested so don't follow up.
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Girl in bar, flirts with guy. He ask for her number, she gives him a bogus number that he never calls.
Every now and then, a girl actually gives a real number and a guy actually calls.
Men and women are different, but the same.
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mlkh
18 yrs ago
Wow, you're lucky. All the men that ask for my number are complete psychos. Of course I try not to give my number out, but then they do this really creepy thing where they call me straight away to check I'm giving them the right number, and not some dud.
Needless to say they then ring the next day once every 20 minutes.
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i think u like them but they dont like you!just to show respect as a woman they just chat with u for that time and obcourse maybe for you to feel.......flattred!
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How old are the women you try and pick up in the "Grab a Granny" comp ? I am so curious and disturbed by this
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Interesting! Whenever I call a number that a girl gives me, it turns out to be false! Standard Hong Kong girls trick, I've been told.....
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rats
18 yrs ago
six pack, well-said!
What if the girl askes the boy for tel no. and call him? Does she look too aggressive?
And what if the boy said he would never call and yet he still answers the girl's call and goes out with her? Why? He is just not that into her?
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On the other hand, what is with women that offer you their number (or give it when asked), ask you to call anytime and when you do, treat you like your a swamp monster?
Or are they wearing "Beer Goggles" like so many guys seem to?
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Aussie: Ok, I don't know whether this is just me, but I sometimes give my number out to men I have ZERO interest in (as well as the ones I have a little bit in) because I can't think how to say "no" nicely. The few times I've have the guts to refuse, I felt evil. But I would never ask them to call.
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hcwh
18 yrs ago
Frienships & Socialising in cities such as Shanghai & HK, much like the local population & market, it's often a matter of Quantity over Quality... Everything is a competition, even something as trivial as exchanging phone numbers or business cards... Like some alternate scene from American Psycho.
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I have two sets of business cards. One set has my mobile number, one does not. Most men don't get the mobile number. My theory:
a. Those who are into the "bar game" won't remember who I am the next day.
b. Those who are moderately interested will pop out an email.
c. Those who are seriously interested will go through my secretary (in which case I have to decide if I remember who THEY are!).
Then again, that theory has kept me single for a good, long time. hehe.
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Sindhi....
just love your pseudo! Gave me a good laugh!
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Sindhi, don't think I could get away with that nowadays. the guys have got savvy and check the number I've just given them by dialling.
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hey snuffles, you should try a classic line that my friend used to say - I must admit, it is kind of mean but gets the message across.
I remember we were in Volar and a guy who was chatting to her asked for her no. after a 10 mintue conversation - she just said she had forgotten. The guy's reaction was classic!!
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