To cut a long story short - I've been with Bloke A on and off for two years. It has been a tough ride. I had only just finished with my ex of six years, he came along and I needed a lifejacket. He sees me as a girlfriend, and I see him as a fling, a fact he more or less accepts. Yet he has shown again and again how much he does care about me throughout some very volatile times.
Recently I have met my dream man. He is everything I have been waiting for. We just feel we have known each other for an eternity and I am absolutely head over heels in love with him.
My question is, how best to dump without hurting the other's feeling? I don't believe text or e-mail are the best medium for these type of communication, the phone is never close enough but we are not even in the same country.
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Hmmm, how about "you are a nice guy but.."...
Why not, indeed, if he is a nice guy?
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Fabio
18 yrs ago
Sounds like Bloke A has been used for various means, as a life jacket through tough rides, showing how he cares for you during volatile times, and meanwhile accepting the "fact" - (more or less) that you see him as a fling.
You should tell him all his care and support has been appreciated but you have met the one you have been waiting for.
It does not sound like you appreciate him enough - quite callous, but I will give you benefit-of-the-doubt, as you do start with "to cut a long story short")
Tell him (speak to him) sooner rather than later.
In the meantime, you need to be sure that the dream man will show similar (or more) care and support during tough times.
Have you experienced any of these yet? How did dream man cope with these?
Good luck - but remember what goes around.....
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or " im just not good enough for you..!!"
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Funny, guys. Not really applicable to real-life situation though!! :-P
Fabio - totally agree with you that I do not appreciate him enough. I have been such a selfish b17ch, having taken so much from him (nothing monetary, more in terms of emotional support). Yet do you sacrifice your whole life to be with someone who you do not love but you are in debt to? Or do you find the person and go with your heart? Do I measure The Old and The New by how much they could offer? How do I quantify "care"? All I know is my new man and I have so much in common he has totally blown me away the way I have never felt before.
Thanks Nemesis. Any advice on what (not) to say to at least lessen the blow?
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if he care about you, more or less whatever you do it will be hurt.
find out what he dislike from a woman then to be that kind of woman to him.
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Fabio
18 yrs ago
NSANG - It seems like you had alrerady determined that Bloke A is not for you anyway, so making comparison is too late. I was not suggesting you spend whole life with Bloke A but you should speak to him to tell him any future together is not on.
I agree - you cannot quantify care but if dream guy has blown you away like you never felt before that is either
a)the first (of many more to come hopefully) signs of an everlasting love, or
b)the signs of a new/"honeymoon" phase of love affair, that may/may not endure hiccups.
I think we need to be mindful and receptive to each others' responses/reactions to events that test the resilience of ourselves & prospective "dream" partners.
Life (and love) - as you and all of us have no doubt found -is not a bed of roses.
Take care and wish you well.
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