Posted by
limelight
18 yrs ago
I have been on and off with a guy .. for almost 2 years…. Either I dumped him or he dumped me. I even lose count , how many times I’ve been on and off with him. Truth to tell it’s tiring…. I liked him and I think I love him…
it just ,i felt so insecure around him.
He is an expat. and he always on business trip, and I think he has lots of fling when he is not around me. And I’m starting to feel that maybe for him I’m just for fun.
Is it normal if you are in relationship and you just spend one day in two weeks ?
I really need some advised about this.....hope you can give your opinion as e third party....
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Limelight, I can feel you're not too happy on your relationship like this. How come dont let him go ?? Pls dont waste your time to someone not willing to spend time with you. I believe you'll meet a better guy with a happy relationship. Good lucy :-)
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I really appriciate your advise.. its complicated... at first i trusted him. but we had a fight and we didnt see each other for 2 or 3 weeks and he slept with another woman. and he slept with me the very next day. the thing is we're not really so called bf and gf .. but i just cant accept the fact that he slept with another woman.
he dont really trusted me as well, as if i can get any guy i want by looking at them. even when i received a message .. he would go nuts by asking me if its from another man.
He is a good guy, he works really hard and that what i like bout him. And Yes it true.. i have difficulty in expressing my feelings to him. he told me he loves me .. but i couldnt say the three little words to him.
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Hi Limelight, to be honestly he's not good to you at all. Real love is not like that. Before when you need someone to love, you must be learn how to love yourself first. Remember, he's not the whole world. Pls dont keep your eyes on him only. You should keep the chance for another guys around you. I hope you'll be happy in your life :-)
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Once again, I agree with Nemesis.
A relationship should be invigorating and not draining.
I guess we all know all these words of wisdom and true meanings of relationship, just that we are often so caught up that we lost of sensibility. And unfortunately, relationship tends to have the power to that.
Limelight - just seek within yourself. You know the answer better than any of us.
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Billy-Whizz.... wish i can do that....But i Cant and I dont want to. it feels wrong for me.
Silly cat , I cant even bring myself go out for a date with another man. I know it sounds stupid... i tried before going out with another man.. it feels wrong, i dont want to used other man as rebound.
And I think I love him.
i aldo understand if he has problem trusting woman, i do have the same problem with man too.
He enganged before and unfortunately it did not work out, and he was in relationship for 3 yrs and it did not work out too. ( but what it has to do with me)
I kinda caught in the middle knowing his position and mine. he is 16 yr older than me... sometimes i felt that he feels embarrass going out with me.
is it because i'm much younger than him or what ?? i have no idea.. and i dont have the guts to ask him, and too scared to hear his answers. I never cry in front of guy...and i dont want him to see me crying.
FYI he is 16yr older than me....
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yeah...he always travel. Thats what he told me... but at leat he can call me or text me when he is out of the country.
I broke up with him 2 months ago. And he recently told me that he wants us to be together again.
thats y i post this question...
am not sure to give him one last chance or not.....
it will work out.. if he trusted me... and be more attentive...and if he is not feeling insecure by asking stupid questions.... if he felt insecure towards me. i will feel the same....
:(when it comes to this things... i'm totally sucks
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Limelight - harsh truth... the guy is using u for xxx.
Please make an appointment with the doc and just get yourself checked. STDs are everywhere. I have friends in medical services who tell me stories - "no names mentioned"
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my Gosh.....you guys think he is really using me for XXXX only ??
i need mens point of views with this...
he told me he loves me .. and he sincere....
and sometimes he talk about babies and stuff or pregnancy things with me.... ( which am not that ready to talk about serious matter like this)
am i still in lalala land ???
thanks guys... will take ur advise to go to doc. for checking.. but yes protection... always.. but better check than sorry...
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if you guys are not in gf/bf situation. you can say/do nothing even he sleeps with other girls.
wake up girl. he isn't the right one. it is not a relationship but affair only.
sorry for being harsch. been there. done that.
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limelight - bottom line is he can't commit... so why go down the road of making u think about babies and pregnancies? Maybe just to make sure that you have had sex education and will NOT get pregnant? I don't know but try and not to think about all his "empty" promises for now. If he loves you he won't sleep around and he will see you more often (u have to ask) and even call u everyday.
Good on you to make an appointment.
*meow*
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if he really loves you he wouldnt be afraid of going out with you in public, not becoz you are too young just becoz he takes your for benefits only.
and seriously your "love" for him isnt really love. you are only in the delusion of falling in love.
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what do you mean .. that i;m having delusion ??
if you telling its delusion.. than how do i know if its really love or not ??
he told me last time.. that women are all the same.. cant be trusted...
and yes i used the word " think" i feel it too of course.. it just i'm not sure yet if i can say the three lil words to him.. because you cant say to someone you love him or her.. and take it back the very next day...
you guys understand what am talikng about ..???
he used to introduced me to some of his friends... some who have families... and some who are not married yet...
but then it stops......I dont introduce him to friends of mine as welll becoz i the on and off things....
i want to make this work...i'm being naive... am i guys ??/
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most of the times .. i'm confused becoz.. one day i can see that he really likes me and cares about me.. but than sometimes he just push me away.....
its confusing.....
i need to find closure for this....damn!! i cant dated other man.. if i know me and him will get back together again ....
any tips... arghhhhh
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Being introduced to his friends or introducing him to yours is not guranatee that you are in a committed relationship.
You want to make this work (or any relationship you may want to have in the future), there are essential elements that both of you have to consistently bring to the table-- trust, respect and open communication. With any or all of these missing, expect a bumpy road sprinkled with doubts and fear. Not worth it, IMHO.
Might as well run the opposite direction..
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well its not that am afraid to be alone....( i'm not trying to be an arrogant b!atch) but there are some guys who want to dated me out.....( like i told earlier.. it just dont feeels right when i try to go for date with other men) and its not that i want to settling down asap!! no..
i just want .. to have this relationship.... and talk about marriage when the times come.... you know what i mean.... i dont want to force anybody to get married with me ASAP!! geee
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why do you WANT to have this relationship when it's clearly making you miserable and doubtful? You are on two different playing fields with this guy, what's making you stay???
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i admit : that I love him....i love him...and its scaring me everytime i think of it.
and no i dont think he treats me like i;m the love of his life....
if i have that thoughts i wouldnt post this on the net.
well most men always said
" women are complicated, cant leave with them cant live without them"
but it goes exactly the same with men
" Men are complicated, cant live with them cant live without them ""
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i dont know....annebin...i dont know...
it just feels right when i'm with him....
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Limelight - acknowledge your feelings.. yes you love him but does he love u back the way u want to be love? - see each other more than once every fornight, not sleeping arnd, no more getting back together for xxx. If the answer is NO (and that clearly is) better to walk away now and cut your losses. If he then realizes that you are the love of his life.. then let him make the effort to come after you. If not, then at least u give yourself that u loved him and know that u r capable of loving.
Cheer up!!!
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I agree with Harimau.
Don't settle for second best, Limelight. I think you deserve to have your love reciprocated by a man who respects and trusts you.
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sfsr
18 yrs ago
You know what. If I were you, I will move on. I know it's very hard, not easy. But it's not that hard to do once you take a baby step. Just a baby step. Tell yoursef you can make it happen.
Trust me, you can only be happy once you move on. Good luck and all the best.
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sfsr
18 yrs ago
I absolute agreed with feathinwind's point of view. Yup. You just haven't been hurt enough. But I am sure the day will come if you got enough and will walk away without turning your back. Trust me. I go thro' this before. Was crying and crying so many times. Now, I am out for almost 2 years. I am glad that I finally made it. Of course, it's your decision. Everything is up to you. I really don't want to see any good lady is suffer from heartbreak, including me. That's really really hurt. What I think is if a relationship doesn't make you happy most of the time. What's the point to have it ? Not fear to be single and die alone. All I want is a happiest life. Good luck to you and myself
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hi guys.. thank you...really appreciate all of ur feedback.
nobody wants to get hurt...Including me!!
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Nemesis..yes you are RIGHT.. its up to me to decide whether i want to give him a chance or walk away! i do realize that. It just sometimes when people ( in this case ME) in this stage... i cant see things cleary or being objective.. you know what i mean???
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yupe.. it feels right whenever am around him... but when i'm not around him... i felt so insecure.
thanks you all, will give him one more chance...( i've been telling this for the past 2 yrs and yet keep getting back with him) but this is would be THE LAST !!! if this is not work.. then at least i've tried and tried and tried.... :)
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