not easy

a me, your thread makes me remember a guy i love so much and we did have wonderful time together but it was short as he had to go back to his country. when it closes to the day he leaves, everytime we say goodbye after seeing him was like tearing my heart apart. It was hard but live has to go on...till now, we stay in touch and he's my very good friend. We're happy for each other if our days are going well.

A me - really sympathize with you.


Here is another perspective... get over him quick so u can have a chance at dating a much better guy. :)


If the break-up is clear (for watever reasons) then so be it... make yourself scarce... don't answer THAT PHONE! No more chit chats.. go out! meet friends... take a vacation and spa away... just give yourself time to heal. The sooner the better so that you don't waste your energy on someone who can't commit.

Oh yeah... face ALL your fears!


Hence, if wine remind u of him... wine-away.

If a certain movie or smell reminds u of him... FACE IT... u it and u will feel more in control of your life.

A me, silly glitter08 doesn't try to forget him, she just trying hard to run her life, meeting new friends, go dating, learn new things. When I listen to the song which the first dance we did, his face and the moment just like a movie pop up in my head. It was really upset,,,when time passes, i still has his face in my head when I hear that song, but i'm happy for the great moment we had, that nothing would take that away....um...think a positive mind would really help...knowing he's doing good, getting a nice new job, the gift he prepares for her mum's 60 bday....i just will not forget him but accept we're not a couple anymore.


A me, don't really sure what happened to you both, same as you, i do agree with featherinwind. Try the best to keep the one you love and I do admit that I didn't try everything to keep him with me, may be i know if won't work out...i couldn't afford going to a country to start everything all over and if we didn't work out,,,what to do then...well, it's just my thought and what i can and can't do.


A me, there some nice things happen in life which we can enchor and keep it forever, but they're something that make up your life and you can be a better and more mature person. When i think about the past, the pain is so far away...anything, hope it won't be the obstacle for you to enjoy the blessing in store for you.


:)

It's healthy to have and keep happy memories of relationships you've had, even those that didn't end in happily-ever-after.


I don't advise forgetting about the guy. You loved each other and there are countless reasons to remember him with love and fondness. The challenge is, as the days progress, your memory of him should occupy less and less of your subconscious.


Gradually keep him out of your thoughts by indulging in activities that give you a sense of accomplishment--take up a hobby, do volunteer work, climb a mountain..It takes time to heal, but it also takes effort on your part to want to heal. Get on your feet A Me, you'll be fine.

Ame, I feel for you. The recovery stage is hard. To move on is harder still.

Like you I am going thru the same thing (just happened last week).


The storyline is a little different. I left to work in overseas and he is left at home alone. We kept trying to communicate on the phone and emails which isnt enough to keep a relationship going instead it made it worse. After 16 months he fell out of love for me and told me that he didnt love me anymore in my face and being with me makes him want to die. I had to let the relationship go.


Break ups are painful experiences and it is always heart wrenching and I wish i had something of a revelation to tell you how to heal after a break up but I dun even know the answer myself (since I am hurting too).

What I can say is If you can feel the hurt and pain there is still passion in you to love another.Be prepared to be missing him and hurting for at least 6 months but do not sit around to mope and wait.


Focus your energy on yourself and others not him.

I still believe love conquers all!

It makes it easier if you think more about why you were not happy having him and had to let go in the first place, instead of indulging in the sweet memories.

I'm just getting over such a situation - she returned from Beijing to Vienna, me to Cape Town. It's been 6 months so far since we split. I wasn't very interested in other women but now am starting a new relationship and suddenly felt a wave of sadness as I let go of the old. What seemed to work was regularly visualising and imagining myself in a great new relationship. Sorry I can't offer more.