Posted by
lulu
18 yrs ago
For those who whined here about: how much hurt you feel for being spilted with your boyfriend, how sad you cannot live alone, how you cannot survive by being apart and so on...You are already very lucky. At least you been loved.
I gave up looking for love for a long time, i already not dating anyone for over 2 years. I just think to keep my life focus on work and friends, travel, family, etc. But yesterday i got a warning letter from my female boss saying my work is not up to standard...thou i know she did not like me for a long time, but i know i am not bad at my job and i been working in the company for a long time (different departments)...but it still makes me feel i got nothing to focus on and i start thinking i am a looser, worthless and no goals in life anymore.
So what's worst? bad boyfriends or a horrible female boss? I got both. So you are not that unlucky, there are more unluckier ones around ...
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It's probably a fact of life that females are more difficult to handle since we're so detailed focus. In my firm, the female bosses are very detail oriented and double check everything where as most males bosses look at the big picture/issues. It's probably an instinctive thing.
Don't be so hard on yourself lulu, I agree with JP, if you can, look for a new job environment. People relationships are the most trickiest because we're so unpredictable.
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lulu
18 yrs ago
Thanks for that. I do enjoy working in the company and i plan to get 20 years of service to get a better retirement benefit. ( i work for nearly 17 now) My colleague are also wonderful and all the people work with me (including suppliers) are also very please and like me. I did also try and change department as of the boss but then not much of the opportunity rasie. I really not sure why, may be i am really no good, but may be i am unlucky.
What i feel sad about, this female boss pick on me on everything, i am in no win situation, she accuse me i had a bad personal life, had private phone calls , emails, say i do not talk to the supplier professionally, sick leave did not alert her at once. I think this is all too much, she should not overheard and spy my phone conversation, with what so ever, everyone have private calls at work and i hardly have any as most of friends and family understand i have a difficult boss, i do not have boyfriend calls, , dates, chats at work etc...even my works calls she have to spy on...that is too much.
For sick leave, all my sick leave were alert to the team, the sectary and her once i feel sick. All my sick leave days were certified by doctors.
All my annual leave were input 2 weeks ahead, but she did not read the application and then say i did not alert her. She just wanna pick on me, this is a "no win" situation.
She also asked me to do a lot of stuff out of my job description (ad-hoc project) allow very little time to complete and then she copy and paste my work and change it as her work and show it to the senior...i think this is so unfair . I really dunno what to do.
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lulu
18 yrs ago
she is a management trainee and she will be in this for another 10 months. this kind of people are "exculsive shoe polisher" for our CEO so everyone so tired of this kind of MT.
I usually will just hang on and wait until she go in 2007, but this warning letter even threaten to terminate me if my performance is not satisfactory after 3 months, i feel i really need to do something just in case.
oh she had lots of personal calls, she text and recive calls during meetings, and she just boiught a house and i can see she print a lot of document from the solicitor. She will go on leave from monday but she did not have any written notice to any of us in the team. she never tell us where she is and when she got meetings..
the world is just so unfair.
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lulu
18 yrs ago
Yeah, Nemesis, from that day onwards, i seldom go to the forum and log into internet. But she still keeping spying on me and and listening to my phone conversation, whoever i talked to. She is now criticising me not professional enough to suppliers. This is only her complain, all the colleague and suppliers like to talk to me and someone just bought me cake in Singapore yesterday, she must have hated this!
You can see me seldom post here anymore, just after work sometimes. My mobile phone is alway on silent mode and seldom got personal calls.
whereas she always have her mobile on in the office and texting during the meeting. Anyway, she just starting picking on me and that's it. All my other colleague likes me and i am happy at my section, been around with them for 6 years here. Always no problem, only the management trainee bosses....female one..
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trix
18 yrs ago
Management is not all about control and delegation. It's also about motivating and training your staff. I guess being a management trainee, your boss is quite new to managing people and may not be getting the best out of you in the best way.
That said, it doesn't mean that two wrongs make a right (i.e just because she misuses her time and company resources, it doesn't mean you can do the same). Misuse is actually quite subjective and dependent on how the boss sees it. Her boss probably doesn't have any issues with her and grade her performance by other indicators (e.g. results produced regardless of time spent). The crux of the problem remains, she has issues with YOU, she's your boss and you have to make her happy.
Please don't be silly and go over her head to report her. It doesn't work 90% of the time. She's the one who does your evaluation, she can A LOT of damage to you. Management in general also don't like people who upset the chain of command. Such employees tend to be regarded as trouble-makers. Whatever issues you have with your boss, people expect you to settle it with her, not trouble her superiors and ask them to play judge/mediator because they have other more important things to look into and really don't want to interfere in such a mess. And if push comes to shove, they'll rather keep the person higher in position because the person's skills are more in demand.
So my advice is, either improve your work performance/relationship with your boss or look for a new job. No two ways about it.
P.S: Most people don't have a choice of bosses, and some continue to do well regardless of who they report to because they've learnt how to manage such relationships. There're lots of books on this topic. It might just help to read up on this.
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lulu
18 yrs ago
Actually, I could say I avoid her a lot so i really have nearly 0 personal phone calls during work hours. My friends all called me at lunch time now and my family never call unless really urgent cos they know she pick on me. Actually i
am clean on that.
She sit my back at lunch time and everytime i talk she spies on me.
Even i talk to suppliers at work , she listen and she claims i am not talk to me in professional manner. However, i never heard any complains from suppliers and they all say praise me in their emails to her as well.
I think she is really unhappy with that.
She just do not like me cos she is new to the job and she knows i know a lot about it and she feels she is not "on top" of the team.
I also contact the senior manager a few times during her duty travel and reported the projects (some urgent decision) details that need to sort out, I also know she was unhappy about that. She always goes to meet seniors on her own but the other department seniors invite me to join the meeting, so she was not keen and happy at all.
I already called the employee services (independent body) and all the friends and colleagues that works with me asked to stand strong for that.
Actually all the "guilt" she accused me in the letter are not in my "job description" as well, she asked to fullfill her ad-hoc projects and neglect my regular job in my JD. I already wanted to raise my concerns on that cos i do not have time to do my regular job (we have magazine and printing deadlines to meet) and this have to be done every month and cannot afford errors on that.
Anyway, she just do not like me, everytime i sent her sometime, she will look for any mistakes if necessary and if she cannot find any, she will try to say i was wrong. When I told her the real fact, then she got really piss off.
I do not mind to be a "shoe polisher" but i cannot live with being accused. Sometime i have nort done and she said i did, that was just not my principle at work. I still follow the "code of conduct" nor having make my company loose m$ from my work, she have no right to terminate me.
Anyway, wish myself good luck. This thread i just like to say to you guys, dont get too unhappy of loosing your love or something, there are many people that is unluckier than you. Treasure what you have, job, family and friends.
I am glad to say i still have family and friends.
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lulu
18 yrs ago
so common in HK office environment to receive warning letter and all conversation being spy?
I worked in this company for nearly 17 years and this is the first time i receive this kind of letter and i feel i work particularly hard the last few month, should i say i am lucky?
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lulu
18 yrs ago
Nifty, Rain> today she is on leave, but not sure whether she will come back this morning cos we never know.
This is my company structure, pretty traditional type one. Every year they recruit fresh grads from Uni and they are from hong kong, england,etc., "famous" one. These are the "appointed" ones, they are all choosen to be the "furute of the company". They have special meetings with the CEOs, gatherings and conversations. Their package to join the Company is to be the leader and learn different management skills from each department. Therefore, they will start at a fresh grad, everyone 1-2 years they will get a transfer, from one department to another, everytime they will also grant a promotion. Their career path are all planned by the CEOs & the top. Nothing to deal with the personnel department. Hope you now understand why I could never apply her job, and she just for the company about 5 years and she already a Manager. Her position also never open for any application.
I also wanted to be a "Management trainee", I also got a degree as well. Unfortunately, i was graduated from HK polytechnic 17 years ago and at that time Polytechnic was not called "a university", only a few faculties had started degree, my company did not recruit grad to the scheme from Poly.
Then in later years, of course, poly became an offical uni and my company also recruit internal staff for the "management trainee" scheme. However, they want young energetic "shoe polisher" and the limitation are only for those newly recruit staff up to 3-5 years. By that time, i already work for this company for about 7 years.
I was in another deparment for a long while and i got good credits and promtion for a few times, but then when i transfered here I stucked for a long time. Understand this job will not have much promotion, but i do enjoy the job here, however, these bosses always post problems.
Anyway, will always try a transfer, but with this warning letter, chances will be silm for a transfer...
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lulu
18 yrs ago
Rain> What I am trying to point out here is not comparing who is lucky or unlucky. I just want to ask those girls who want to kill herself, not wanting to wake up, or cried over some jerks and playboys ...to treasure their lives, to live happily, move on, as there is a lot of better things to care about and they are not the only victims.
Just a bit sad cos i had already met all those jerks and playboys, move on and put more focus in jobs and work, but now have this kind of boss, that also ruins the passion for my job and company, which i'd been working for a long time.
There are of course a lot of very unfortunate ones around, defo i am not the worst! At least i still have family and friends and still working, earning money to pay my debts!
Re your question, YES, these Management trainee could be General manager after certain years and my senior manager will never get to be one cos she is just employed through the normal ground staff scheme. A lot of big companies work in this traditional way as well. Management trainees are stars of tomorrow.
Sorry but true.
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Lulu, I am in the similar situation as u, both for the job and the ex... Now what I am doing every day is to drink ourside and think nothing about the future...
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lulu
18 yrs ago
I also do not have much hope for the future. Next week my boss will be back from her holiday. Nightmare starts again.
I already prepared a document to talk to my big boss, see how it goes. :(
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lulu
18 yrs ago
me, no more tears as well.
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Lulu, I fighted with my female colleague who could be the department potential boss by calls, Emails ...I failed most of the time. The only reason is I do not have any focus in this big company during the 3 years' working here. That's really painful and delema situation...
Chat noir, I cried out also, but now, I feel the tears are becoming less and less. I found I am leading to a way could make me feel nothing.. How horrible it is!
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had the very similar situation like you in my previous job. But 1 day when I looked at her, felt pathetic for her, think she's so insure, stress out and having bad relationships with her family and colleagues which might be the reasons turning her to behave like that. My advice is, if she would affect your emotion and motivation to work, you might have to think about taking the move. Otherwise, use the tallents and experience you have to assist her to become a better boss, believe life influencing life, good or bad. Hope your day be filled with hope and joy!
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lulu
18 yrs ago
I only log on the internet during lunch time and after working hours at home.
She still not back from her lunch yet.
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lulu
18 yrs ago
chat>not being defensive, i just thought 200460 try to be clever so i got to let him know. You can see i only answer you 7 hours later so i am off work now.
200460> Do not try to be smart and being scrastic. Our company record all the staff going on internet and every month they will send a list to the manager and annouced who spent most time on the internet most and which site being on top of being searched.
However, from 1200L to 1400L and after 1800L, they will not log in the data, that shows we can use the internet during lunch break and after hours.
I used to log in pretty much here but since my boss told me off few months ago, I seldom log in here during office hours.
Yesterday my boss came back from her holiday, but today i found out she is going to duty travel plus leave tomorrow again... and I only discovered it when she talked on the phone with the supplier! Actually i never really care what she do for her personal lives and phones, etc, however, I think she should let us know what her schedules are as our work need to meet deadlines and we need her decision.
Moreover, my big boss will have a meeting with me later this week. She did believe what my boss told her on the warning letter. However, she also like to talk to me after she received my feedback note regarding her letter.
I think even i got terminated this time, i still walk out happily cos i'd done my part.
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Ed
18 yrs ago
200460 has been warned and deleted - ban will follow if this rubbish continues...
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lulu
18 yrs ago
Ed, thanks for the prompt action.
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