Posted by
gabb
18 yrs ago
You do NOT need Chinese tea for a back problem! My gosh! This is the biggest lie I've ever heard!
Try this man. He's a bonesetter recommended by my colleague. He used to be the bonesetter for HK representatives (not quite sure for which sports). He has two clinics, one in CWB and one in Mongkok (I think), and he and his student (qualified already) take turns to see patients. Get a Chinese-speaking friend/colleague to call.
Numbers are: 28949012/23980212.
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Dude, what women, want above all is a big heart. If its in a big body, then who cares?
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Ms
18 yrs ago
Right, to answer your question, ask the lady out and see how it goes. As for pretty women playing jokes on big fat guys...don't think so really. I've met a big big guy two years back, he's very popular with most of the staff, both males and females, simply because he's a nice person with a great personality. Shame though he's always treated badly by his wife :)!! Don't worry about how you look, you want to go out with a woman who likes the way you are mate! Bring it on!!
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gabb
18 yrs ago
Electrade, if a doctor "wants to make more money and is delaying my cure", then he's not a good doctor, even though he might have made you feel better initially. Even I myself can numb your pain by using ice or certain medication, but does this mean I'm a doctor, let alone a good one?
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i like men with a bit of belly and some meat on them. yum yum!
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Electrode,
I agree with st123---ask her out for casual lunch, and don't treat her/it as a date. That way, if you "discover" that she's just another pretty face, or that there's no chemistry, you can still see each other eye to eye in the office without anyone being uncomfortable..If the first lunch was alright, ask her again.. then graduate to maybe c*cktails..then some casual thingy during the weekend..then...
On a health note, I've had slipped disc (hairline crack already)too a few years ago and did the lot of various treatments for a few months. Saw an excellent chiro for a month and was on my toes again. You can ease your way slowly into an exercise regimen that is not too harsh on your back. Strengthen your abs and legs. Being overweight will slow down your complete recovery.
To answer your question...
I think men, regardless of size and height, can be attractive if they have a healthy self-image, enough intellect, a good dose of sense of humor, and a positive outlook. Don't overanalyze things like some women in other forums(fora?)do..Stay cool =)
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etnad
18 yrs ago
Too kind and too good to be true replies. Get real!!! I only need to answer the question. Big and fat men are NOT sexy. Better post another question. Are big men healthy? Then most of the replies here have already answered it. And moved to the appropriate forum.
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Hi Electrode, no one is prefect. I do believe inside is more important than your out look. So, pls do trust yourself :-)
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D-Man
18 yrs ago
Big E,,,,, I think I can help. PM me if your interested.
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When you've done fat you never go back! Enjoy
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gabb
18 yrs ago
LoveChocolate, the word "outlook" does NOT mean appearance!!!!!! It means the followings, according to Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary:
1 : a) a place offering a view b) a view from a particular place;
2 : POINT OF VIEW;
3 : the act of looking out;
4 : the prospect for the future"
GOSH!! When will HK people stop using Chinglish?
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gabb
18 yrs ago
Electrode, I did this so that LoveChocolate and the likes will stop making a fool of themselves!
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Ms
18 yrs ago
How's it going with the lady in your office Electrode? You do sound a lot like one of my friends?!
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NFL RULES!
If there is an opening the secondary you should deffinitely make a deep pass to the tight end...
But remeber dancing in the endzone is a penalty.
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I didn't read most of these comments, but my opinion would be that no matter what- everyone has their own things that they are insecure about; be it weight, their ass, their nose, hair, arms, whatever...everyone has something...and everyone has felt what you are feeling now. Risks are hard for people and nobody wants to be rejected. People often hold back for fear of rejection...you just have to decide if you want to be like everyone else.
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One more thing...an individual's perception of what is happening and reality are not always in line..often we see things as we perceive them, and be careful cause it can come through in your behavior- if you think that people are making fun of you, they might just because of the way you act (of course unconsciously)...so just be aware of how your present yourself..
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Hi Electrode, You sound like a normal guy to me.I'm a 40 yr. old female with 3 kids. It stinks to gain weight.
I think Asian women like Caucasian
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Hi Electrode,
I hit send by accident last time. I think Asian women like foreign men for several reasons. (You are American, correct?) 1) Their appearance is novel. Men tend to be taller and more sturdily built. 2) Foreign tend to be more sensitive and more in tune with their feelings, but be careful as Asian women might love that or think it's 'girly'. 3) Apparently, Western men cheat less than Asian men. Sorry, is this an incorrect stereotype I've heard or is it true? Not sure.
You seemed like a normal guy but when I read about your secret 'Do me by date 4 or get out' rule, then I really did see that you have major insecurities or you just aren't that clear about what women's roles are to be." Like you said, if you have trouble with long-term relationships, one can see why. Perhaps letting women 'fail' a test that they didn't know they were taking is one way to keep yourself from really having to get attached to a female. Some people go to lunch or out for drinks for months before even deciding if they will be more than friends. I'm curious if you're 30 or older. If so, are your friends also like you? Most men aren't so eager to get action so quickly. Maybe you think it's a confirmation of your attractiveness to have a woman go to bed with you. That aspect of a relationship should come on its own time and your rule sounds very juevenille, like women are toys.
I hear that women like you, and honestly, whether you are 30 lbs overweight or really fit, it doesn't matter to a lot of women. However, the really insecure people care A LOT because they think their partner's appearance is a reflection of their ability to land an attractive person. In this case, it means more to them than other people. Also, of course, it's easier to feel attracted to someone who's not 100lbs overweight because muscles simply look good. I could ignore a receeding hairline, a big belly or many things just so long as the person made me laugh and feel loved and comfortable, but for me, that wouldn't go hand in hand with your silly rule. If you just want to play games and put time frames on sexual activities, it sounds like you should go to a bar to meet someone. It reminds me of 7th grade..."Did you get to first base? Did you touch her there? If she doesn't let you, go out with Susie Sleezy because she will let you, etc."Oh dear.
My advice is to proceed slowly and if you doctor doesn't work, Dr. Bruce Vaughan in central is an absolutely fantastic chiropractor. Plus, he's what some Asians might call girly. Ha ha. He paints, writes, etc. I read the comments of rititt, etnad,chonJay? and wondered if these were all men.I have a Japanese female friend whose married to an Australian man. She finds his need for emotional support 'babyish'. These are cultural issues. Westerners find emotional health important and a part of health. Good luck.It's probably your approachability which women like.
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P.S. Electrode, I've taught College level English and I didn't find one mistake in your writing.:) Similarly, I didn't find anything you said to be girly, whiny or weird and I don't think most men would either. I think most of the respondents were Asian, which is odd since this is a site for Xpats. I once read that 60% of people in HK have never told anyone they love them including their spouses. I don't find local people here speak about their feelings very much. Parents raise children without praising them very much (I believe it is said to spoil a child to say something positive to them.)I believe Asians may think it's a sign of weakness to reflect, collaborate and discuss one's insecurities. I believe the most insecure people are the ones who act as though they are invincible and above being insecure. If your body isn't what it used to be, of course you wish it were. We all do!
As for the girly stuff which seems to offend some of these writers, Western women like sensitivity. We know men can try to manipulate us by showing their sensitive side. Talk to us about how heartbroken you were when your puppy died or your fiance left you and many women turn into putty not because we want to be your mother, but because we like to feel that we can help you meet your emotional needs. This will make us feel you are human, and that we can be helpful and we will feel less guilty when we need to talk so much. (we talk for company. Men talk to find answers, right? See John Gray in Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.)
Westerners tend to be more forward. Whenever I liked a man, I just told him things like "I love the way you make me laugh or how you look at things. You're interesting, etc." I'd also just smile a little longer than I would've otherwise and I'd just leave it. If I thought I'd gotten a response I liked, I'd proceed slowly.Perhaps you could do similar things and see how a woman responds. Women tend to show men they like them because a lot of men are shy about it. Getting laid by a woman you don't know isn't as good as being able to repeatedly count on a sexual relationship with a female friend you like. Also, if you do start having lots of affairs at work, it will not be very comfortable.Your boss won't like it, etc. Have you lived in HK very long? It sounds like you're new to Asia. There are books written on how to snag a Western man. The advice is to not give strong opinions, act like men are the boss, etc. It's tough for western women to do this. Anyway, I think you are right. Your rule is only hurting yourself. I know someone who only liked women who were unavailable because deep down, he felt that he was unworthy of a woman. He sorted his own feelings out and was more able to have a relationship. I suspect that is what you should do. Hope that is not harsh.
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Dear Electrode,
Hm, I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you are in fact married and looking for a little action on the side. Why would you bother to lie? For entertainment? Maybe, but I don't think so. I feel I've wasted my time giving you advice about women you might date when the real situation which needs addressing is the one with your wife. Ok, so let me think about how one would respond. Well, of course if you and your wife aren't intimate, you would be more likely to want confirmation of your attractiveness from someone else. Most married people don't choose to have a platonic relationship with a spouse, so what happened? Can you buy roses for your wife and tell her she's beautiful, all you ever wanted and that you want to feel closer to her (first start with the mental stuff and the physical stuff should follow). Are you sure she isn't seeing another man or do you think she might know you have a wandering eye? I'm glad you're too lazy to try to date other women. Maybe it means you really do care about your wife. As for your physique, I wonder if you have let things slip a bit since your wife doesn't seem interested...or maybe you've lost interest. Do you have kids? Are you too busy? Would you like to be intimate with her?If you get along with women and are a 'girly metrosexual', why do you think your wife doesn't appreciate you? Also, has she noticed your new physique? Good luck.Buy flowers, tell her you thought about when you just met and you want to get some of those feelings back. Get back in touch with her or consider your options. Why are you still with her?
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I have serious doubts that electrode is anything like he describes. And his various aliases are painfully obvious.
Jungle duet - nice one !!
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As for Electrode being a liar, I find that odd.Why would he bother to do that? Lives and people are complicated. I know many men who treat their wives well, but who fool around. As for you being a cad, Electrode, well, one wonders if your wife lets you go outside the marriage or if you figure you can since you and she aren't intimate for whatever reason. I haven't met anyone with a 'perfect relationship', let alone one without sex unless they are staying together as platonic friends for the childrens' sakes. Am I being nosy? I am an avid student of human nature, not as a profession, it's just an interest. If you have promised to love her forever and ever (as married people have), then, if you don't have an agreement to go outside the marriage, well then, let's say one might feel able to debate whether or not you are in fact a cad. I hope you stay healthy, fit and pain-free, but whether or not a walking time bomb is a good thing to be or not is of question.I don't know what you mean by that.
Personally, I don't think it's enough to have a relationship without sex unless you aren't able to, and the mention of the use of your hand implies that you are functional. Perhaps she is not, or is not interested, etc. You aren't a child, so handholding generally isn't quite enough for grown-ups to feel confirmation of their attractiveness. I think you probably havn't admitted that you might want to find the whole package in one woman. Hope this is not tooooo personal, but I didn't know how to send a private message!
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Hm, well,your note does explain some things, but it's odd. Why do you have a rule about 4 downs if you have never been unfaithful to your wife? Do you mean you aren't cheating if you fool around or that you've never actually gone through with it? The implication is that you would, so this would generally negate what others view as you having a perfect relationship. Many intelligent women don't want children. As for what your perfect woman is, well, I suppose it's admirable that you seem to have chosen someone with a good intellect rather than simply a sexual being. What would happen if you tried to sleep with your wife. Do you share a bed? Did you ever have sex with her or did you agree to celibacy? Most men if they had to choose would want a subservient sexual woman because they can get good conversations elsewhere, but they like to know they can get good sex at home so they aren't sexual time bombs. I don't know how you figure an intelligent woman wouldn't satisfy you sexually. No wonder you're not sure of the intentions of the women in your office. If you don't have sex with your wife, it would be confusing to read the signals.The saying that men want a tiger in bed and a kitten in other areas seems to apply to you. There are women like that.Compared to many here, you probably are quite normal, but c'mon, uness you're a monk, sex is a desired thing. Sounds like you're not attracted to your wife sexually. One wonders if that's because you only like women who (as Steve Martin said in My Blue Heaven) are "kinda dirty or somethin." Women can learn to play roles which might help if your wife were willing. Why not try to have both sex and a marriage with the same person? It seems like that would be the easiest thing. Haven't you ever had a sexual relationship with a woman with whom you considered a friend? Either you are naive or as you said inexperienced, but it's certainly possible.I know of a sex therapist who counsels individuals or couples on their sex lives. she say couples can be in therapy for years and years going over the nit picky details of their lives, but if they just go to a couple of sessions with her, talk about how to improve their sex lives, and start having sex, things improve dramatically! Maybe this is worth a try. She has parties and sells every kind of sex toy you could possibly imagine. She's an American in HK.
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PS... I don't know if anyone can really satisfy anyone else perfectly in all areas, but sex should at least be part of the equation. Mediocre sex is better physically and emotionally than none. Besides, you can improve on it, whereas when you're having none, it creates time bombs.
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Please people lets end this thread. There is absolutely NOTHING genuine at all about the poster who created it and we all know it. Notmeok I'm stunned that you can reach your conclusions after rading the tripe this person puts everywhere on this forum. Why give it any consideration at all? You should save your concern and constructive advice for genuine people.
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thanks. i read a few other things he wrote, but i didn't find anything offensive except the 4 down rule from a married man, but apparently a frustrated one. i haven't read that many things on this site, but i just went from this chain. i think most people who responded to him were harsh. electrode, can you see yourself in this article?
http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/CollegeAndFamily/SuddenlySingle/UnhappilyEverAfterTheNondivorce.aspx?GT1=8996&wa=wsignin1.0
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Do some more reading on different threads - you'll soon see why so many people feel the way they do about him.
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Fascinating.
But I much prefer the posts where you give us your great four down rule, tell us how your just an overweight misunderstood sensitive guy, chase everything that moves with no success, get pursued in the office because your such a stud, talk about cheating being OK but then calling yourself old fashioned, claiming your wifes the only one for you but then preaching there really is no only one, berating us for our inability to grasp the english language ... and on and on and on.
Maybe my favourite quote "st, true I didn't. But before I got fat I didn't have to chase women.
Now I'm a fat boy, I can't rely on looks anymore so I have to do the dating thing.
I'm still keeping to the 4 down rule, showing blitz and looking to sack the quarterback.
Please tell me st, why is it tough? I don't say to my date, "OK you've got 4 dates to do the biz or you're out"
Maybe it's tough on myself as I could be losing out on some decent LTRs. "
This from Mr Married Electrode. But maybe this is a contender as favourite quote "Without wishing to boast, I have risen above such cravings and consider myself a cerebral person almost entirely devoid of physical lust."
So much fodder its hard to choose from.
Time to change aliases again guv.
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Ed
17 yrs ago
More bans are on the way if the rules continue to be broken:
http://hongkong.asiaxpat.com/forums/rules.asp
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Dont mean to be a pain Ed but what rules were broken? I just read the rules link. Cant see what rules are being broken. Not trying to be funny. It's just I seriously cannot see where there has been a rule breach based on your link. Dont bann me - just explain it so I know.
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cujo
17 yrs ago
Oh, please, Ed, tell me that you did not just ban mpl. That guy is without question the most reasonable, articulate, and compassionate poster on this site. What possibly could you have found offensive with his last post? And did you also ban Justin Credible, another thoughtful poster? How could you ban mpl but let this drivel from electrode remain? (sabbster had it right yesterday - people should have let this thread die.)
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wow..amazed this traed is still so activ, 145 days ago and still on top..=)
I have not take my time to read all 150 posts, will just add short comment.
Are Madonna your dreamgirl?
some people will say yes, some nope
many reason why some want her and some dont.
some girls are attracted to guys with extra weight while some would never touch a fat guy.
but in general you can say more girls and men prefer normal bodytype, not to big, not to skinny.
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Or after all the abuse he could see there is little sense to be got from some folks on here.
And after 9 months he don't need the site.
Or maybe he is gettin some and has less free time fro bloging.
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maxis
17 yrs ago
This is quite a long thread and has been going for a long time - it certainly has some unexpected twists in the plot revealed by the main character.
So, why don't you tell us what happened in the end.
What happened in the copier room?
Do the women still hang off you?
Did you tell them about your wife?
Did the doctor fix your back?
Did you lose the weight?
Did the smoking help lose weight at all?
Did you quite smoking?
Please tell us all what happened in the end - it is a very interesting thread, you know.
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maxis
11 yrs ago
'Come on Electrode....give us some more!
This thread was a winner!
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