I met this guy the other night, seemed really nice. I am no longer into one night stands and picking up guys in bars. Been here too long and at this point I'm really happy single. When it was clear to me that he was on the same page as me, and I am very clear about what I want..don't like to play games..he stayed over. Havent heard from him since. ??????? I feel like I never stop learning lessons and that I can't trust what anyone says or feelings I think are mutual. Any advice.
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yeah...figured all of that..its just in the past i have always been very good about these things.. it was in the same night, but i don't come off as someone easy to take home. I don't flirt, I don't make the guy feel manly... im just normal...so to him I wouldnt think he was talking to me looking for sex..so it was a challenge for him if thats what he wanted..and then why take that challange..i mean there are girls in bars obviously up for it... anyways..no regrets and i think i get smarter as i get older..but guess what..i dont!
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Haha. you guys are both right.... but the rule about not taking guys home on the first night.. I just don't know. I have waited before, not waited..whatever makes no difference. Not related to my situation above, I think its fine that girls take guys home on the first night, why is it a double standard? Why should a girl not sleep with a guy just so he will like her.. This world is so bizarre, and being nearly 30 you would think I should know alot more about it than I do!!!
Thanks for the advice though, i feel better about it. This has never happend before..its usually me who does the not calling. Anyways, this happened the week before last, and after 3 days i deleted his number and messages from before. I know myself a bit to well (most of the time!)
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I slept with my current boyfriend on the first night but we had been chatting online for a couple of weeks before (lol no excuse)
I feel terrible about it but at the time i wasnt thinking of this (as you dont) He never fails to remind me of this and i sometimes wonder if he's just waiting for the right moment to dump me.
Perhaps that'll always be in the back of my mind as I know that he also believes that a girl who sleeps with a man on the first night isnt girlfriend material. He just made a slightish exception with me (but maybe thats just for now...ahhhh!!!! )
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But where do guys get that idea that shes not girlfriend material? Bizarre. I think its about the connection and chemistry between two people. Anyways, I guess I don't really want to be with a guy like that. My new rule: Any guy who doesnt think I'm gf material cause I slept with him on the first date isn't bf material. Hmmmph. That will learn them!!! : )
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Why are there rules? I'm so over game playing. So, hopefully, eventually I will meet someone who doesn't partake in these ridiculous games!
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Rules...rules...rules...
Come on people...this is LOVE...or what we all would like to think is "LOVE"...there are NO RULES...
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lets continue this conversation on another thread...
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I'm going to start charging for my services. Ha.
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Guess I must be ugly then, based on your theory. Hmm suppose Ill never settle down with someone cause im just too damn ugly. Hmm the rest of my life is gonna suck now that I know I'm not gf material on account of my ugliness. ha
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Yes. But why should I have to wait and particpate in these ridculous games. Whats wrong with a self assured, confident woman who knows what she wants? Why is that not g/f material. I think most people aren't catching my drift here. Anyways, this was the first time in my life that this has happend..so just curious. I think everyone has basically said don't sleep with a guy on the first night or he wont think you're gf material. I just think thats dumb, and anyone who plays by those rules wouldn't last long in my books.
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K..I won't dwell on it...im just really bored at work and feel like complaining..this is the place for it haha.
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And I guess the point of this thread wasn't about first dates- it was am I a bad judge of character... more about people being misleading etc.. I guess I should have waited till i was sober to judge that one! And, in the past any so called ONS (which werent...really, always turned into something else) so I haven't been bad judge of character in the past.. maybe I'm getting naive in my old age..haha
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Yeah, nah not going to call him, mostly cause I just don't care and am not activly looking for a relationship..not thinking it will fuel my ego. Point is, he said one thing and I assumed I would hear from him..thats all. Just curious about what people thought about that. I usually do the not calling people thing, but never if I have slept with them...cause ive never slept with anyone I didn't like or would never want to see again..but I suppose women are different.
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So why don't guys just say they are looking for sex, find someone else who is..and believe me there are plenty..been to mes amis lately??
Why lie? or be misleading.
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360
18 yrs ago
is it correct to say that men won't turn down opportunities to sleep with good looking or not-bad-looking girls and will do it again and agin if opportunities present themselves. and men won't develop feelings for them in the process??
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twh
18 yrs ago
I'd rather have sex on first date, time saving if his skills are not up to standard. It's not a matter of when you slept with him, first, second, or third, he is just not that into you. I find that having sex after third dates is even worse, like seeing a future between us but NO. He just doesn't call. Let him go. Agree, stay sexy and wear smiles, all guys run after you. Good luck.
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