Posted by
MC JUNG
18 yrs ago
methinks B does more damage to the relationship, and believe me it eventually leads to A.
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@@
18 yrs ago
I would think as posted above, (B) is just on it's way to (A).
However if my husband was invloved with (B) but came to his senses and put a stop to it, I would find it easier to forgive.
The mental image of (A) would be very difficult to get out of my head
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@@
18 yrs ago
True Ada, I'm thinking more along the lines of serious texting, letters and phone calls. Not just a good flirt at a dinner party!
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ppl here are more open to talk their problems I guess?
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Did asked quite a few men about this topic. To summeries all the blar blar blar. Answer from all those men were : cheating or not cheating is not the main issue. the most inportant thing is never let her find out. And they believe this is LOVE and their way to protect their partner/wife to get hurt.
Sad, isn't it?
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At the risk of being accused of back slapping by Sherlock ELECTRODE Holmes, again Plastic Buddha you seem to have it sorted. Your insight seems indicative of someone who has been there although on which side I am not sure. If any of you have been around for a couple of years you will remember that I have experienced some horrible things on the battlefield and in a major motorway pile up but nothing has upset me more than seeing my wife as distraught and upset as she has been. If anyone out there truly believes that they love their partner then do not allow yourself to even entertain the idea of cheating, and as we all have some weaknesses,know what they are and for your partners sake find a way of dealing with them.
I may still have to pay a horrendous price for my lack of control. By the way Electrode you are so far off the mark, my wife is currently at our holiday home well away from Hong Kong, knows nothing of Asia xpat, and only uses the net for msn, and booking flights. It seems your posts are just designed to cause offence or to cause polarised comments rather than considered response. Perhaps you should talk to Bobsal on speakers corner if he/she has not been banned yet.
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Is it the deceit or the sex?
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tia
18 yrs ago
I think it is the deceit. If my soon-to-be hubby had sex with someone else, I would be gutted. I admit it. But it's physical. If it was a stupid one nighter, I would like to think I could move past it and get on with more important things.
If he was sharing deep secrets and confidences with another female...possibly creating the loving feelings we once shared, I would be BEYOND gutted and possibly unable to forgive that.
Sex is sex and it can mean nothing. Sharing your heart and soul is much more personal. Feelings start to develop and would be damn near impossible for me to forgive that.
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tia
18 yrs ago
How deep has the emotional attachement become? Have they discussed the finer points of our sex life and her/his sex life? Have they engaged in cyber sex?
The best part of my relationship is that we have a deep connection, we trust each other and we can talk about anything. If I felt he had that with another woman, even if he had never slept with her, that would end it for me. I know how my man works. He may not be like every other man, but for him, that kind of intimacy means more than a casual shag. If he had those ties with another female, I'd almost rather he'd have just shagged her!
In a committed relationship, you share more than the bed. There are things I know about him and vice versa that no one else knows. He's had sex with others before he met me...he may have sex with others after. I don't know. I could share his body if I HAD to...but I could never share his heart.
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tia
18 yrs ago
Right nationality? Is there a wrong one? (Don't answer that one...) :) Perhaps he is. More importantly, I think I am marrying the right man.
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Hi again Tia, might sound rich coming from a confessed cheat but very good wishes on your forthcoming nuptials. I have to say that I think for my wife given the conversations that we have had since, the fact that I could have managed to end up in our home with another woman at all sex or not was more hurtful than if I had taken a prostitute to some short time hotel.
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tia
18 yrs ago
Exactly Freddy...it's the trust, the bond, that feeling of safety and security that is broken now. The physical stuff you can get over..eventually, but feeling that this person you trusted with your heart and soul let you down....well...it's harder.
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