Posted by
thl
18 yrs ago
Does it ever exist? Or should I just get off my high horse?
Met this dude recently on a trip and we really hit it off... but realised very quickly that he's attached (girlfriend's living in a city coupla hours away). Damn... but oh wells, we still hang out with common friends and even meet up for casual drinks/dinner cos we have such a great time.
I am single and usually have a hands-off policy for ppl who're not single. But damn, I'm really attracted to him (I hardly feel so strongly abt someone so it feels good... and bad!). And I know he feels the same.
Anyhow, we were out partying one weekend and ended up making out at some point (we were tipsy but not that drunk... bad excuse anyways). We drew the line at having sex and went home separately. We talked abt it after, know that it's wrong and we shld just move on and not go back there again. But damn, it's the forbidden fruit syndrome - you wanna have whatcha can't get!
My convoluted thoughts now:
1. I have a hands-off policy and should stick to it. And I'd never wanna be that girl who has a cheating boyfriend / partner. So move on! And with him - we should just really be friends or not meet. Or rather, not put ourselves in such vulnerable situations again...
OR,
2. Damn, I'm single. He can be the one to decide whether he's up to it. What the heck... why shld I be fretting abt it?
Comments from the floor? AAARgh.... thx
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Ethics aside it all rather depends doesn't it? The red flag I reckon is your line
I would just leave it, tell him you'd love to but you have always had this "policy".. then enjoy knowing he won't be able to stop thinking about you!!
Seriously though, if you like him that much,didn't end up in bed that time with your guy (which suggests he's probably more committed/ invested in his current relationship than it appears)then there's a good chance it will end in tears- and not his.
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thl
18 yrs ago
Quote: Seriously though, if you like him that much,didn't end up in bed that time with your guy (which suggests he's probably more committed/ invested in his current relationship than it appears)then there's a good chance it will end in tears- and not his.
Hear hear... I know. Just needed to hear this from someone for the nth time. Thx mate.
Sighs.
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smoky
18 yrs ago
Electrode - You recently posted a topic about whether fat men are sexy (espousing about yourself), and in that thread you seemed to be extremely naive with regards to women/relationships etc and yet more recently you have been giving assured advice on many topics related to cheating/sex etc etc. What's with the sudden change?
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Well if you follow 2. you can have the satisfaction of knowing that, to at least one other woman (maybe plus her friends and others in the smallish expat communities in Asia), you will always be known as THAT f*cking biatch slut cow. Things rarely stay in the bedroom...
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thl
18 yrs ago
Thanks guys... some really wise words here. Yeah, I did screw up and fault on my policy but hey, am only human. Not perfect but I try.
Moving on... else I'd just be sorry. And mpl - you're right - it's abt self respect. No one would be sorrier than myself if I let that go.
Thanks again!
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thl - been there , done that, and he broke up with his girlfriend. Happy ever after? Not a chance in hell. I couldn't trust a single word that came out of his mouth. It was MISERABLE. Karma gets you every time.
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mpl,
With respect,
Where "his head" is at? Maybe I misread but from what I gather thl had this chemistry thing going with the guy then sort of hooked up but 'not quite' with him. You are practically telling her to sit him down to have a talk about "US". GOD NO! She'll look like some crazed stalker.
thl don't do it.
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thl
18 yrs ago
Hahaha... no, am not gonna be a stalker. Gawd, no.
Just met him and some other common friends today ... well, it isn't so bad when I have made a decision that this isn't going anywhere and that I shld just keep my own head rightly set in place :) There was a moment today tho... but like all moments, it just goes away. Sighs.
Life goes on!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Ovo, how on earth do they deliver sexually transmitted diseases without delivering sex?
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Well I dunno, im in similar situation like you, but call me selfish, i'd still call and see that attached guy. I dont think its a big deal, the 2 are only going out, they are not married, i dont see a big "no" to tell me to stop nor do i feel 100% guilty, after all, it's a basic theory of force of nature that 2 people fall into each other......well you never know what it ends up..so i'd suggest you to go and try still, why hold back your feeling?? life's short!
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