Posted by
trix
18 yrs ago
DON'T overanalyze. It's a waste of time and creates unnecessary problems.
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I know!
mpl, does GAL applies here too? ;))
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trix
18 yrs ago
I make reservations for dinner with my girlfriends all the time and almost never put down my surname. What's the point? All the restaurants want is a name and number to call when you're running late to confirm the reservation. I don't see how my decision on how much personal information to give is related to who I'm going out with. I also don't see why I should make the waiter/captain call me Ms XXX.
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Sorry, chat noir, don't mean to offend you, but really, if you don't have more serious preoccupation than this one...
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Well what happens if the guy has a really bad surname that sound like a swear word or a rude word, then it is understandable that he uses his first name right?
Chat Noir, it really doesn't matter, as long as it is you he booked dinner with, agree?
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BP returns?
Got over your depression? good luck hon.
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trix
18 yrs ago
If my date makes such a big fuss over something so small, he's probably too high strung or high maintenance for me to want to see again.
On a side note, the reservations list is not a registry but a contact list/schedule. Even for a fine dining restaurant, they don't keep a record of your full particulars unless it's for a mailing list. Just what kind of etiquette is involved here? Can someone enlighten me?
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I just can't believe my eyes!
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trix
18 yrs ago
If you want to pick on a date, aren't they so many more important things you can pick on?
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Yes, GAL, mpl! (only joking!!!!!!!!)
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Hee hee! This thread is actually starting to serve some purpose: have a laugh on a Friday afternoon!
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trix
18 yrs ago
Some people like me don't like and don't need to be addressed as Ms XXX. Other people may feel differently and I respect that. But to be judged as having poor manners or not making an effort because I want others to be more personable to me is just so... stupid. Sorry, I tried to come up with something else but I'm so astounded, I'm at a loss at how better to put it.
I'm a regular at a certain restaurant and often chat with some of the waiters and the owner when he makes his rounds. They call me by my first name but they still remember my preferences. It's simply amazing don't you think?
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trix
18 yrs ago
Aijin, I don't know what kind of restaurants you've been going to, but most take down a number along with the name. I hope you remembered your date's number.
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trix
18 yrs ago
I'm trying to remember the last time someone- my date, a friend from out of town, one of the visiting senior managers- was impressed when I gave my full name to a restaurant, but I cannot. I just cannot. Unfortunately, they know my name and have heard it 10,000 times already. To have a lowly waiter address me by my surname somehow just doesn't work as it should. Just what am I doing wrong?
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trix
18 yrs ago
mpl, that's MS XXX for you. (Psst... please help me to impress my date)
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trix
18 yrs ago
Aijin, maybe I've been to fine-dining restaurants once too often, but I cannot remember the last time I worried about small details like my date's surname, not being able to get in, whether they know me as the president of some club etc.
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trix
18 yrs ago
But there are no angles in circles!!
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trix
18 yrs ago
Aijin, funny how I never forget my name, whether it's my first, last or middle name. Maybe it's because I do lunches, not luncheons. Or maybe it's a good idea to start laying off the wine.
mpl, ;)
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trix
18 yrs ago
frans, you don't want to mess with the squares. It takes a lot more than the pixies to get away afterwards, trust me on this.
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This is nuts.
It's probably necessary to make a distinction between consideration for others (a general concept) and manners/etiquette (a specific culture's manifestation of consideration in the form of rules). There is, of course, a gray area where the two meet, but if one has a problem distinguishing between the black and white, well, nuts.
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@mpl - always behind the times, how silly of me.
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this is really a fun thread... thank you much chat for starting it... :D
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Hi Chat,
Just thought I'd put my two cents worth in - I totally agree with you. I honestly think that it does make a differnce whether a guy makes a reservation with first or surname. I think I feel like this because my father always used to make restaurant bookings for the family or him and Mum when I was growing up under the family name. It might be a bit old fashioned these days though (my Dad is getting on a bit!), but I truly do think it's really good manners to use a surname for a booking!!!
Good luck with the thread!!!
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Kaat
18 yrs ago
Has anyone seen the movie "Meet The Parents"? Imagine being greeted by the maitre d' as Mr. uh... Focker ;) ...on a first date!
And to answer your question, chat noir, yes you are weird!
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yes you are weird, perhaps after you solve this problem you can tackle global warming! To much time on your hands perhaps?
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my surname is 10 letters long and is usually only pronounced well by people who speak spanish. my first name is 6 letters and while not the easiest, is much simpler than my surname. its not to hide or conceal myself or my identity, just to make it easier for me and the person taking my reservation.
'nuff said.
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trix
18 yrs ago
Chat, was this some blind date off the internet where he didn’t tell you his surname before meeting up or during dinner? If so, people take some time to trust strangers; some take more time than others. You shouldn’t take this personally because it’s just a general precaution many people take on the internet. You should only worry if he still hasn’t told you his last name by the third or fourth date.
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trix
18 yrs ago
Chat, I understand what you mean about having trust. It doesn’t leave a nice feeling if the person is dodgy and it’s certainly easier to feel comfortable if the person is being open with you. But there’re lots of weird people off the internet. Maybe your date has had some bad experiences as well. I guess much can be said for online safety and it shouldn’t be taken personally that he doesn’t trust you. It might in fact be bad if the person you meet has no boundaries. He doesn’t know where to draw the line and might expect the same of you. This is why a lot of internet relationships start quickly and end as quickly.
A pity you have nothing in common. Perhaps you could give the next date a little more time? Trust is something that shouldn’t be taken for granted and takes time to build. Maybe it would be better to judge his openness from the third date onwards? Most people don’t meet after the first date and perhaps that’s why they don’t invest that much then.
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trix
18 yrs ago
It just hit me- so chat, you and Tiger01 are the same person?
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trix
18 yrs ago
Chat, it's strange indeed that Tiger01 knew it was a blind date off the internet and brought up the exact same concern you had in mind about the guy not using his last name!
Anyway, good to know you're relaxed about this and don't expect much. I was under the opposite impression as you started the thread and said you did not want to build on a friendship with the guy.
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trix
18 yrs ago
At first I wasn't sure. But now that the black cat and the tiger have overdone it....
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quit looking at things through the microscope and enjoy the big picture eh?
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I can't wait for Thursday!
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