Posted by
patrickd
18 yrs ago
I had such terrible experience with this guy that I want to share and would like to hear your opinions.
Almost 2 years ago, I met this Turkish guy through a dating website and we kept talking online for almost a year. He told me that he was single and he broke up with his ex gf a year ago. Finally, we decided to meet up and very soon we started dating. He was so enthusiastic about me at the beginning that he wanted to see me every single nite. He was so sweet and shy by then.
As time goes by, his evil characters came out. Not only he was no more a caring person but he yelled at me / critized me sometimes. I also discovered his serious lie... he was married!! He lied to me that he was single but in fact he just moved out of his ex wife's place. He made up a big lie to me because he wanted to get me!! My trust to him was completely lost but since I loved him I accepted it and forgave him.
I guess this is the biggest mistake I ever made... 5 months after we started dating, he suddenly asked for a break and asked not to meet for a while until the end of summer. I was so confused and upset because I didn't know what happened... How can such a sweet guy turn into such a devil within a few months' time? He used a lame excuse that he thought we are not compatible. But I only know the real story of this guy for only 3 months, how can he/I be sure that we are not compatible?
After breaking up, we still keep in touch because I think it will be too hard for him to face the divorce by himself as he is alone in HK. I still care for him and we keep seeing each other and his attitude to me seemed to have changed. He even asked me out for dinner on Mid-Autumn Festival. When I think that well, maybe its time for us to get back together, then he suddenly told me that he is seeing a girl and even went to a trip to Manila with her earlier!!! I almost fainted when I heard that. I knew that he went to Manila but he lied to me that he went with a male friend!!! He even showed off his new girl and told me that she is younger than me, she is from the Philippines and they both work in wanchai... I was furious for sure!!
How can a guy be so shameless to show off his new gf to the old gf that he dumped? In fact, not only he lied to me that he was single, he also didn't tell me that his ex wife is still living in his apartment block but different floor. He told me he showed my picture to his ex wife one day when they met in the lift. How shameless he is!! Did he think about how the women feel? I felt sorry for his ex wife. And unfortunately, the same thing now happens on me.
I had a violent fight with him after knowing he has a new gf... I am so angry because I was somehow waiting for him and he lied to me again and again.
Ladies, how would you react if you were me? What will you do? How will you deal with such a shameless guy? I feel so angry that I couldn't have good sleep for a week now. Also, I feel sorry for his new gf because she doesn't know the real side of this guy and she is going to be the next victim.
:(
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patrickd, be glad u have rid that dirt RUBBISH... Take care... You surely deserve some1 better...
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That was a great lesson for you! Be thankful, you learnt a lot from this guy in a shorter time than the ex-wife did! Now the new girlfriend will learn something too.. and eventually us women are all eventually going to become smarter!
Hit the block email, block number button, delete and move on.
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Yes, it is the most terrible lesson I ever had!!
I wish I could meet his new gf and tell her what has happened on me. Thats why I told my story here and hopefully she would read it and contact me.
As told by my ex bf, he met this girl in a wanchai bar and she is a friend of his colleague. She is 27, chinese but migrated to the Philippines for long time, now works as an accountant in wanchai.
If she happens to be your friend and is now dating a Turkish guy, please tell her my story.
Thanks.
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darling, if it makes you feel better then tell her about him (if you ever get to meet her) but how many girls can you warn?...i know that it's easier said than done but please move on...put your energy on something precious to you..good luck! :)
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Yes, it is easier said than done... After knowing he has a new gf, I can't sleep well and always wake up in the middle of nite then can't get back to sleep again... the good memories with him rushed up in my mind. He was so sweet at the very beginning that he took me go hiking from Mid-Levels to the peak and brought me to dinner at Cafe Deco on New Years Eve to have countdown to his birthday (which on New Years Day).
Its just hard to believe why such a sweet guy, whom I've been talking to for a year, completely changed in a few months time.
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He probably didn't change but was concealing big parts of who he was to you from the beginning, so you were unknowingly mistaken about the type of person he really was. No?
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a player does that all the time..sweet talks till he gets what he wants then gets bored of it and moves on to the next one..list out his bad characters and you will realise (soon, i hope) that he's not worth losing your sleep over..sorry that you are feeling this way. :(
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Getting your head round and coming to terms with the fact that your perceptions were wrong about someone and that you based all your loving feelings for him on them (not your fault, obviously, though, because he induced that through lying!) is very difficult and painful. Don't doubt about yourself. You deserve better.
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Before meeting him, I was out of the last relationship for more than a year. I wanted to start a new relationship until I pick the right one. But I was totally wrong to have picked him.
4 months after we started dating, we were supposed to go out after work on one saturday. However, he was stuck with work and said he would give me a call on sunday morning and we would meet on sunday. That is fine with me because I know work is important for him.
I waited for his phone call all morning on sunday but he didn't call. I started calling his mobile in the afternoon but nobody answered. I know he is absent-minded that he might be in the office and forgot to bring his mobile. So I called his office... again nobody answered. In the following hour, I started to worry about him because he promised to give me phone call and come out to meet. But he was totally disappeared!
I couldn't find any method to reach him, as a last resort I went to place to see if he is ok. It took me an hour to go to his place and on the way, I kept calling him and sms him to let him know I was coming over. When I reached downstairs of his apartment, I gave him one more phone call but still nobody answered. Finally I arrived at his door, I rang the bell... I heard somebody inside but seemed he had no intention to open the door. I rang the bell again until the door was finally opened after I've been standing outside for a few minutes. It was him, fully dressed but looked very sleepy. He yelled at me and said me what I am doing there. He didn't even let me go into his place and we argued in the corridor. I had been to his place many times and sometimes even stayed overnight but this time, he didn't let me go in. I was very angry by his reaction because I was his gf, I worried about him and I came a long way to see if he is ok. But he kept me outside of his place and didn't let me in. He even blamed me for coming over without telling him and I invaded his privacy!!!
My heart was broken because I suspected that he had another woman in the house (which is very normal to think that if your bf doesn't let you go into his place). I was going to break up with him but stupid me, after listening to his explanation, my heart softened and accepted him back.
I always accepted his mistakes because I loved him and I care for him (even after we broke up). But why he is so shameless that hurt me again and again?
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kissy.missy, you are right, I now very believe that he is a player... "sweet talks till he gets what he wants then gets bored of it and moves on to the next one".
You know what? He still claims that he is faithful to his partner and he didn't see anyone during his 10 years' marriage. He even claims that he doesn't like to meet girls at the wanchai bars and he doesn't like prostitutes.
What a liar!!
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i dont think that he'll change (not that we should care)..let him be...pls dont drag yourself down just because of him!...focus on things that mean the world to you. :)
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It really hurts when you trust somebody and then one day find out that he is making up a fake story to try to get you... :(
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lesson no. 1: do not trust anyone in an instant!
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Its not in an instant... but have been talking to this guy for a year, then find out what he told me are all lies!! He made them up to get me...
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he must be very good on acting/lying then...sorry that he turned out to be an a-hole.
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Yesterday, he called me up to meet and sent my things back to me. He has been keeping my things at his place for 5 months and had no intention to send them back to me before (that makes me think that he may want to get back together later).
Of course, we argued again when we met. He kept saying that he has been very good to me and feels sorry to hurt me, blar blar blar. Very soon, his evil character appeared as he attacked me by my past relationships... "you had a number of bfs in the past but I managed to keep a marriage for 10 years without seeing anybody!!" I was so angry because I've been honest to him and told him about my past when he asked, but now he used this to attack me!! A honest man is the one to be blamed instead of the liar!!
Now, I feel completely disappointed about this Turkish guy and I don't want to see him again in my life. This 5-month relationship is really a big lesson for me.
Girls, if you know this chinese girl from the philippines who is dating a Turkish guy, please tell her my story and let her decide whether or not to continue going out with this guy.
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Patrickd,
I am so sorry to read all the above posts. Your ex is definitley a jerk. Sigh! these jerks are all around us. My man acts like him. He posted his new gf's pic to his blog and asked if i have seen the pics. He even tried to tell me about his sex life with his new gf. I hope somebody could arrest all these jerks as they keep hurting women.
I don't know how to comfort you, just wanna let you know that you are not alone. And don't think you are being dump, those jerks definetly have problems with their mind, you are such a thoughtful girl who deserve someone better. But i don't know shall we still trust men anymore.
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That's the point... I completely lost my trust to all men!! But I so much want to find the right one and have family and kids with him... :(
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Manzi
18 yrs ago
It seems that most of the time people we meet online are not that good ones..,Patrickd, let the pain heal,it's natural..Once you are out of this painful box,you will find he wasn't worth it..And you will learn how to spot these bastards in your next relationships..
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dove
18 yrs ago
Agree with Mingstar! Girls, keep away from this Turkish guy!
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Thanks, plastic buddha.
I told my story here to let you girls know about this "player" and you girls better keep away from him.
My heart is broken. My love, my care and my time is wasted on this guy. What I get in return is insulting words and numerous criticisms from him, e.g. the number of bf I had before, I am weird because I am afraid of dogs etc.
I also wonder if my heart will be able to mend one day... thanks to this stupid selfish and arrogant Turkish guy!
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dove
18 yrs ago
Turkish guy... no comments
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i'm also experiencing a terrible relationship!!!When it comes to love, most girls are silly...anyway, remember you got a large group of ladies supporting you...be strong!!
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Plastic Buddha - I love your Hurt-Misery-Bonecrushingagonylikeyouneverknewbefore Karma.
I wonder if it ever does exist. I just can't understand how men just move on to the next relationship so quickly whilst we are still wiping up the tears. I saw ex-boyfriend out with new girlfriend on Saturday night. It crushed me... I put on a brave face and moved onto the next bar.
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hey, do not worry about her new girlfriend, she came from the Philippines, she knows how to deal with b*stards.
What you need to do is to be selfish right now, go shopping, head off to spa, anything! Remember, what happened was just a slip, not a fall, dust yourself off! Goodluck!
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True, Madizon.dm, she is from the Philippines and she must be experienced in dealing with this Turkish b*stard.
Maybe later on, after she is cheated by this b*stard, she will start another post here. By then, I will feel nothing and would have happily moved on with my life.
Thanks gals, for all your support. But, my words towards this Turkish b*stard will still be harsh. This is me, love is love, hate is hate! I can love someone with all my heart, but I will also hate someone's gut if he lied to me and played me.
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