Posted by
csun008
18 yrs ago
I have been in HK for one year. Just started to realize that in HK the dating rules are very funny. People don't seem to be very serious here. In particular, most of the guys seem to be looking for sex buddies only.
I am a person who genuinely enjoy a deeper relationship, be a friend or a lover. Somehow I have to be connected with him or her at deeper emotional and spiritual level --- not just physcial.
Have started to feel a bit disappointed with HK. Want to know whether any real relationship still exists here. Your opinion is much appreciated.
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lulu
18 yrs ago
i'b been searching for a true relationship for a a good few years and did not find anything. I am now giving up.
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Thanks Lulu for your message.
I am a very positive person so don't want to give up hope yet. I am curious to know why HK guys are so scared of making committment?
I am not talking about marriage or anything like this. But to be involved with somebody at deeper emotional level is so nice. They don't feel this way?
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I actually look at things quite differently. In HK, many people are not honest when they are asking others out. What's wrong with pics with daughter in? And, "turning ex into gay" shows my sense of humor. Didn't you get it?
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Thanks. This is the kind of message I really appreciate -- some faith. I actually have had some really nice relationships in HK. However, people seem to break up here for trivial things. Maybe subconscientiously lots of them think it's so easy to find the next date hence they lose interest in keeping the one they've got? Anyway, thanks again and time for breakfast.
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Need to do some clarification here. I didn't badmouth my ex. In fact, we are still excellent friends. In my introduction to the potential date, I stated that I was married before but managed to turn my ex into gay --- supposed to be a humorous comment but somehow offended this potential date and he became abusive. His rude comments didn't affect me in anyway as I am a very composed and confident women. Thanks all.
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My ex is far away in Vancouver so no harm will be done to him. I respect his choice and will do everything I can to protect his privacy as well.
Having a 2nd thought, maybe I sent the photo with my daughter deliberately. Having talked about myself with kid in previous correspondence so it's not a total surprise to the potential date. Some guys will never date a single mother --- which is fine and I am not interested in them either. So, somehow I feel it's better to be straight-forward from the beginning. I'll be more sensitive about my approach in the future.
Thanks for all your comments and encouragement
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csun, i have the same feeling too... "people seem to break up here for trivial things. Maybe subconscientiously lots of them think it's so easy to find the next date hence they lose interest in keeping the one they've got?"
It is PLAYER'S behaviour to ask for break up because of trivial things. Why not adjust yourself and compromise with your partner but to dig out her mistakes, exaggerate and critize them and then ask for break up? Does the PLAYER realize that he is the one who makes serious mistakes and his partner accepts them as what they are? Is relationship so fragile today?
Yes, of course, it is so easy for the PLAYER to find the next dates... possibly in Lockhart Road, and they are all sitting on the street waiting for you PLAYER already.
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This discussion is becoming so interesting. Having been out of the dating club for more than 10 years, I suddenly find that I am so out of touch with the protocols.
For example, I always believe that am very open-minded -- even a bit wild at mild level. However after arriving in HK, I seriously believe that am a conservative person :)
Met for one person for first coffee date. He asked me whether I'll do stockings and suspenser for him. Luckily I was in good mood that day so tried to sooth the situation by saying that if by end of 5th year, he is still nice to me, I will!
Another fellow asked me at the fist coffee session whether I like on the top or at the bottom. I was not in humorous mood that day so stunned for a couple of minutes. That night I figured out a good answer if am asked for the same question again: I enjoy standing next to the bed to watch you with another one!
HK is a funny place indeed!
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100% not. If you want more funny stories, I can tell you more. Why do you think that I've started to become disappointed about HK? So many shallow people here. Maybe I am becoming shallow too after exposed to so many of them :)
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That's why I've stopped meeting people for coffee. Worried about being poisoned by Starbucks :)
yes agree should chat and chat and chat more before meeting for anything. Luckily I am good at figuring out whether someone is a fruit cake or not from half an hour's conversion.
Recently, I've left out all subtlety --- tell any potential date right from beginning what kind of person I am, what am good at and what am not, what kind of person am looking for. I understand that sending a picture with daughter is not very romantic at all, but at least it'll frighten those who don't have a big heart. Well, at least this is what I hoped.
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Well reckon I started the discussion so I should close it properly as well. Thanks all for your opinion. So, the conclusion is yes good relationship still exists in HK -- I thought so too but just want some confirmation from you guys :)
We might be cheeky, shallow, or full of self-importance, but let's at least be nice and kind to each other. This is what makes this world beautiful, isn't it? Thanks again. BYE-BYE
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Here is the confession. All the funny examples I've given in this forum are internet dates. There're so so many nutty people out there --- didn't know that before but now I've learned the fact in a funny way.
I actually look at the whole thing quite light-heartedly. No damage is done. Half an hour chat to challenge my boundary --- not too bad. Cheers
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This 62 years old is not part of my stories. He left me a message actually to ask me out. I never chatted with him.
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Agree with Kowloon Tong's point of view. That's why I've decided not to visit any more fast food restaurants :). Nice to try but not my style
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it seems that the people you meet online are perverts or jerks. So please learn from your experience and stay away. I've never really trusted guys who do online dating thing.
If you want to meet someone you have to broaden you 'contact base' so this means making friends with women as well, who will hopefully introduce you to someone suitable.
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I make friends with both genders, all age groups and all races. The funny thing is that it has been hard to make good female friends in HK as well. Don't know why. Maybe everybody works too hard here and travels too much.
Am not a LKF type so where do you think you can meet decent people who can be friends? Both female and male I mean. Genuine answer is much appreciated.
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Ed
18 yrs ago
Warning : this is NOT a chat room. The entire thread is about to come down
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Csun, question likes yours since couple years ago. Think there're really some guys who are not commitive or even wierd in HK or anywhere. well, don't get disappointed. They're just not the one you're looking for and the truth is it's difficult to find someone you interested into and able start a real/deep relationship. Enjoy life even you have it or not. Be yourself and keep up what you believe
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Went to see a fortune-teller the other day. She said that I'll find the ONE in 2007 *_* Hooray! So, do make a wish for Christmas :)
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To answer HappyNewYea's question: "you looking for your "perfect" ONE? what is the criteria?"
No, am not looking for the PERFECT one. Don't believe such a person exists.
Looking for the RIGHT one. The one most suitable.
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Csun. I believe there is, and I always have faith on it. Even though I have met a couple of Mr Wrong, got hurt -> got healed -> trying to move on. But I treat all these experience as lessons to be learnt through our life, which makes us becoming a better person at times.
Wish you all have a wonderful X mas!~~
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You see, that kind of thinking on your part is exactly why people break up for trivial matters.
"The most suitable one"?
That implies that if you find someone unsuitable in some small way you might think there is someone "more suitable" or "better".
To me, there is no "most suitable". It's either "suitable" or "not suitable".
We need to know that we may not find Mr. or Ms. Right, even if they might be out there somewhere. We all need to start to recognize that "good enough" is not a bad thing to think!!!
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If you strive for perfection, you will miss all that is in front of you. And, you have to be ok with the fact that you may never find it.
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Hah. hongkonglady might be my Ms. Right with the connection in thinking we obviously had, 3 seconds apart. But I'll never know, as right now I'm with someone wonderful who is more than "good enough". ;)
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I don't mean that in a negative way, and I will never settle. What I mean is that there are multiple people one can be with- each with good and bad traits..nobody is perfect. I know I am not and I am not ever going to expect anyone to be..and if life were easy and perfect what would be the point?
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Exactly... I knew that was what you meant. I said the same thing... just a little more verbose...
We should realize that if we think along the lines of "the best ONE" or "the right ONE" we'll never be completely satisfied with the great but imperfect one we're with, always thinking that if this one isn't perfect, there could be someone better.
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I've never broken up with anyone for trivial things.
Nobody is perfect. However, we all have some criteria in our mind. For example, I'd say that I don't see myself settle down with somebody with little sense of humor.
My conclusion is: all of us are imperfect but we all have our priorities. It's purely a personal choice.
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Hehehe. Saw lots of match-making going on here. Maybe due to the fast approaching festive season
*_*
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i hope i can find my special someone
who will share life with me ......
Cross finger for myself and all of u....
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