The Demi and Ashton syndrome

I always tell my girlfriends not to go out with younger men since they are still immature and might leave you for someone else soon.


Then, I met this guy at a bar, at first I have no idea how old he is. It turned out that I’m 2 years older than him. I’m working; he’s still studying.


What I thought would be one night stand turned out to be something better than that. Things are going on well between us (so far). He’s a sweet guy.


I want him to enjoy his life and get matured at his own phase. But I can’t party up till dawn everyday! I have no idea how to make this thing work.


Any tips?

So you guys are only 2 yrs apart..not exactly like Demi & Aston (their age difference are far more significant then what your relationship has)..


Compromise is the key..your mature enough for that right?

I know the age difference is not that much, but it feels like it!


His schedule is very light, i mean he's free by 12PM.


And besides, he's still young, i mean, i used to do that when i was in college.


And yeah, i have to drop him off first, take a shower, then go to work!

I have to work since my daddy already stopped giving me allowance!

Thing is, i really dont want to go out that much now. But i have to find ways so i can meet him halfway.

I have friends where his wife is 12 years older and it works out well. This is more like Demi and Ashton.

If you bf is 20 and you are 22 should be alright then

Im only 6 months away from promotion.

Looks to me as though it isn't the age difference that will cause the problems in forming a relationship here. It is the fact that you both seem to be very different places in your lives.


I don't think that giving up your job so that you can party with him is the answer especially since it seems you don't really want to party all that much anyway. To change yourself to suit the needs of someone else rarely works out in the long haul. Maybe good-bye is the answer here.

I don't want to give up my job, thats for sure. When i tell him that i cant make it to a club or what, he will just come over for a quick dinner or coffee. He wants me to be with him all the time if possible. Sleeping for 2 hours will only work for quite sometime; its not a long term solution.


I do like him since he manage to pull me out of my work which is practically my life eversince i got transferred.


And i want him to grow up in his own phase....


I have no idea what i want!

Hello,I am new here and would like to hear some advices about the Demi-Ashton syndrom. I am 8,5 years older than my H, we are married for 13 years now, and have 2 children. My H started feeling depressed since summer 2005. I had no idea, until last summer, when we were on the verge to move to HK, he confided in me that our age difference has become an obsession for him, he doesn't look forward to the future, verything is a black hole for him, every morning when he wakes up.But he cannot explain whether the depression is caused by our age diff or he feels that way because of the depr. I was devastated. I cannot remember 1 day for the past few months that I don't wake up without feeling the world has ended.The only good thing is that my H is a good father and a decent man, we talked about his crisis, and he assured me that he will never ever hurt the kids or me, by seeking separation or divorce.But our relationship has changed tremendously, no more physical contact, and by physical, I mean full meaning of it. What he suggested now, is that we cannot let the children know about our prb and keep the family together so that they can grow up feeling safe.I know he is a good man, but what do you think I should do,because for now, I have lost my self confidence, even though I know that I still look ok at the age of 52 (he is 43), nobody would know if we don't tell. I am asian and it helps to be short and thin.I still feel angry and resentful because he didn't chew his words when he tolm me what was bothering him! But in a way, I respect his honesty.I feel paralysed by all these contradictory feelings that I cannot be as affectionate as I used to be toward him anymore, and I hate myself for that, and I don't where it will lead us if we just live like to polite friends after the children go to bed. Is there a light at the end of the tunnel for us?

"Front act" for kids never worked. Maybe he needs some assurance that he is indeed a good husband.

Or maybe he needs to crawl out of his shell.

Anyways, yeah, when things are going well, it might be considered as a "good" relationship. And im not actually good in handling relationships.


onefreespirit: thank you so much! I hope i can figure out how to balance it fast. I really find it hard to say no to him. Im having my fourth cup of coffee now, been out since friday night. He's always asking me if im happy and not to worry much about my work.

Its hard not to think about it when my credit card is already overlimit!