Strange conversation with a date...

 I had a strange conversation with a date the other night. She said she has no problem kissing her girlfriends. Am I alone in considering this odd? (Aside from the typical male threesome fantasies that is...)

kissing how? cheek or mouth or tongue in?

Ummm...it is strange, but now she got your attention!


Ask her and find out what she meant. If she meant a real kiss, in oppose to a greeting kiss, then I'd say that it's NOT the norm for a straight woman.

Haha, she said it to impress you. Or she's just quite sexually liberal. Was she drunk? I say silly things when I'm drunk. Or maybe she's socially a bit odd. You didn't give enough information to give an honest opinion!

I wouldn't be so quick to respond. She may be testing you to see if you are just another horny expat looking for a non-serious relationship.


I don't know if the woman was Chinese, but Chinese women are good at testing relationships. The dumb thing is that they can test them until they break. When I first started dating my Chinese wife, she asked me if I would like other girlfriends and said I could have them if I liked. This was a test. If I had been interested she would have dumped me.

Either it's some kind of test, or she plays mind games.


Since you're posting here, it's obvoius she is not as straight forward as you are used to .... do you want to spend your time with someone who plays games ?

Thanks for the info and advice. I know i wasn't very specific looking back. New to this. Anyway, I haven't brought it up wit her since because i don't know if it was something that was said in awkwardness or was like some of you have said above, a test to see what i'd say. I'm not too bothered with that, i think it's fair enough if she wants to know what kind of guy i am before anything develops further. I really don't get the feeling from her that she is that open in her relationships like 'stubby'. Will see, early days. But hey, i've come to the conclusion that if she wants to full on pash her friends when she's drunk, not too bothered - sober, anything 'arranged' - not cool.

I would have said : "let me watch ...."

Good for you ODave. Sounds like you have your head in the right place and that you have common sense and decency to boot.


As for stubby - are you a loser?


Erm, sounds like both you and the hubby have lost something. And really, threesomes, in theory and porn, are awesome. In reality there is always someone left twidelling thumbs for at least part of the time. Even if a guy, in his mind, thinks he is on top of his game throughout a 2 chick, 1 guy threesome, its not the case. And the other option, the 2 guy, 1 chick number...just the thought of crossing swords is enough to put some off, understandably.


I love to cook, and so I go with that analogy...too many cooks spoil the broth. If you want to make sure you are cooking up a fine life, best not to bring other cooks into the kitchen.


Your hubby can blame you and you can blame the hubby, but the point is, at one point in the relationship you were ok with the hubby (and you) getting a taste of some strange, so its sad that it got to where you had to give up your strange just so you could point a finger and say only one of you was now doing it.


When you go into these sorts of "agreements" its generally because it makes you both happy. If its just one person going through the motions to make the other happy, well, it should come as no surprise that it rocks at least one persons world and there would be no desire to give that joy up. Your marriage sounds like damaged goods, so not sure if you can undo what has already been done...just that its a lack of communication that will keep you two sliding further down that slippery slope into divorceland...or STD clinics.


*shrug*


Damn, I am really sorry you are in that mess though...hope you figure a way out that preserves the you.