Other side of cheating



ORIGINAL POST
Posted by Madizon.dm 18 yrs ago
People cheat when their needs are not met by their partners. As long as it is fulfilled, there's no need to worry about the future.

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COMMENTS
Prittie 18 yrs ago
Some of us are romantics and stupidly believe that true love will conquer all, even his obligations to his existing relationship. But please realize that the cheating husbands/boyfriends help us believe this. They make all the promises and give us all the sweet talk that they probably gave you before you agreed to marry him. So the blame is not entirely on the "other women."

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the goddess kali 18 yrs ago
sometimes one doesn't have the time for a full time relationship. So it's better if the guy is already spoken for.

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travelinteacher 18 yrs ago
Sometimes you don't know you're an 'other woman.'

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lambada 18 yrs ago
hey it's not just guys:-) Recent examples. Thai girl asks if she can sleep with me (just one more time) before she gets married, Filipina, 2 times young boyfriend to sleep with man 20 years older, girlfriend continues to live with man 20 years older than me... just to get even/irritate me, G/F's friend jumps in sack followed by cousin (compassion for the victim?). That's just the last month. We're amateurs. You girls run circles around us:-)

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scott westerman 18 yrs ago
I love the challenge, the excitement, and the thrill of the game. It always takes two to party. Im currently seeing two married and one single lady.We all know where it is at.

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lambada 18 yrs ago
Really Cheerio? Did anyone mention hookers? A tad judgemental aren't we:-)

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the_poor_man 18 yrs ago
lambada, I think that must have been in response to the comment above, by "???":


"The wife can't give them the 'new' feeling that you get when you meet a new woman, prostitute, etc."


I kinda hesitated when reading that too...

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Lagano 18 yrs ago
Well over the last 10 years have had several relationships, almost all were with married women, half with their husbands approval, half without their knowledge, only 2 were with single women.


All knew I was married, and we all knew exactly where we stood, no false promises were made, everyone went into it with there eyes wide open.


Why were they doing it?

The ones with husbands approval, mostly for more/better sex, though one was doing it only becuase it made her husband happy.


The ones without their husbands knowledge, more/better sex, excitement, attention, maybe something they couldnt find at home.


The single girls had some ridiculously romanticised idea of being a concubine or liked the thrill of dating a mature married guy.


Why did I do it? Probably as Scott says the challenge, excitement, the thrill of the game but having spent a lot of time talking about this exact same subject with one recent ex, we both came up with the same answer as to why we were doing it, we were both happy with 99% of our married lives and had no desire to change our partners or lives but there was that 1% of our lives that was a void, it could be ignored or forgotten about for some time but it would resurface again and we were both looking to fill that void and in so doing make the other 99% of our lives so much better or tolerable.


But I think it is wrong to generalise, to somehow believe there is one answer, or that everyone involved is bad or good, they are a wide range of motivations and personalities here.

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zonked 18 yrs ago
Lagano -- just wondering if you have had approval from your wife? And if so, on what basis? Just curiosity.


Also, since you've been doing it for so long, haven't you ever faced a situation where you thought you fell in love with one of your women? Afterall, there is always a risk even if both of you went in for it without wanting anything more than just sex.

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Jeancj 18 yrs ago
scott.. wow.. what happens when you find someone you truly love and they do the same to you? not so fun when youre on the receiving end, i can assure u!

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zonked 18 yrs ago
Ever wondered, Lagano, that the 99% you're talking about is actually what is wrong when you seek fun outside your marriage/relationship??


The very fact that you're looking to make that 99% also better/ TOLERABLE, speaks volumes!


If you share enough with your partner, there're endless opportunities to add excitement and thrill to that very r'ship, and for both of you!


Well, that's my take. And I maybe too inexperienced, for all you know!

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the_poor_man 18 yrs ago
A 99% quickly turns to ZERO when you get caught cheating or if jealousy (or depression) takes over your partner's feelings when you're "allowed".


Of course, I've been in situations where an open relationship is the right situation with a particular partner. For a short term, physical only thing, it can work, and might even help keep you together, if you're both deathly afraid of commitment. But I would assume a "marriage" or potentially long-term thing wouldn't allow such an arrangement, because in the end, someone's going to get hurt.

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araluen 18 yrs ago
I remember when my husband talked about getting married I said to him "I don't know if I can only kiss one man for the rest of my life, can you imagine never feeling another persons lips on yours for 40 or 50 years"

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childrensfestival 18 yrs ago
People should be honest with each other. if the feelings are no longer there and/or there is someone else, ask for a divorce. or just tell the truth and see if you two will agree to separate for awhile. DON'T CHEAT. Too many people will get hurt and be affected, and lives will never be the same again. Betrayal is cruel. It takes years to build mutual trust, and only one second to ruin it FOR LIFE. it's not worth it.

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Lagano 18 yrs ago
"feelings are no longer there", "there is someone else", "divorce dont CHEAT"


Naive and makes assumptions that feelings are just binary.


The reality is that in many cases the feelings are still there, there isn't someONE else so why leep to divorce.


Sex and love are two different things. If you are in LOVE with someone else then maybe divorce is the right thing, but having sex with someone else should be a reason for divorce just by itself.


Having gone through a divorce a long time back I now look back and think I shouldn't have, the divorce was a lot more painful than the reasons that pushed me to it, I think I could still be quite happily married and content if I had 'cheated' instead.

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sabbster 18 yrs ago
"I think I could still be quite happily married and content if I had 'cheated' instead"


Are you for real? Just what are you advocating there. Stay married but cheat if you get the urge?

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KAT8 18 yrs ago
Lagona, why bother getting married in the first place? Isn't marriage or relationship about trust, being faithful, forsaking others etc?

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zonked 18 yrs ago
Divorce and cheating can't be put on the same platform. Though cheating can force a divorce on you if your spouse is not ready to take you back, divorce may not necessarily be asked because you're cheating on your spouse and prefer the person who is party to your cheating.


Sometimes, people just make wrong choices in the younger years of life. They may not necessarily dislike their spouse but realise after years of staying with them that they're not compatible. And, I think, there is nothing wrong in that case to go different ways. And if one of them also finds someone else whom they get along better with, there is no harm to get together with that man/woman.


Sometimes you're just not right for your spouse. That's it. And it is better to acknowledge that and act on it rather than drag a marriage.


I was married too and I decided to seperate from my spouse not primarily because he cheated on me but because I realised that I just cannot stay married to him as we were different in many ways and not compatible. I do not regret that decision as it was a decision taken after a lot of deliberation. I do not dislike him but I know I could not stay married to him. He can be a friend and father to our son.

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zonked 18 yrs ago
Thank you, Wat'sup! You atleast made me smile.

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zonked 18 yrs ago
Yep, sorry too! I'll post it on the other one for you!

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scott westerman 18 yrs ago
Jeanci, I have been on receiving end and yes you are right it is painful. As i mentioned though Im honest with the ladies I'm with. What they decide to tell me or there partners is up to them. They say true love will conquer all, I will have to wait and see.

P,S, you are in Shanghai, would you like to meet.(only joking)

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