I hate my life

Feel like my life is cracking up. My bf dumped me unexpectedly not long ago while I was embarking on a new career. He made me feel like a loser inside out, and tramped my self esteem to the lowest point of my life, ever. I struggled to move on, keep myself occupied but I still cant adapt to the loneliness and feel very unhappy being in my new role and new working environment. I miss him so much it hurts..


At home, I got a thefting brother who constantly tries to steal my money (which he just did again and this time, he stole my wallet together with money and everything else) and parents who cant take him to hand. Its not the first time and not long ago, our quarrel led to him beating me up and I had to go hospital for treatment.


To cope with all these stress, sometimes I relieve by drinking. But when I wake up again the next day, I feel like sh*t again. Its worse esp if I realised I nearly did somethg stupid while I was high on alcohol. Feel like i'm the loneliness person living on this planet. I dunno what I can do anymore.. I hate myself... I dunno how anyone can help but I really just wanna vent all my frustrations here on this space..

Wisedup,I am so sorry to hear you are in this situation.You need to take control of your life and not let yourself be in the victim position.You really need somoneone professional to talk to,it's easy for people to give advice on forums but unless they are in your position they can only symphasize.Take action.

Move out and find yourself an apartment and distance yourself from the negatives in life.Your brother may be family but he is not supporting you.

Get your friends around you and seek treatment for alcohol if that is getting out of control.We all need crutches to help us through bad times but don't let it control you.You will heal and get over your boyfriend and learn from the experience you will come out the winner.The hurt will go concentrate on your career.Learn to love yourself and please get some help before you lose your job also or do something silly when drunk.I wish you all the very best,keep us posted.

I’m so sorry that you are having a bad time, I agree with Daddylonglegs

one thing at the time.


if I was you I’ll teach a lesion to your brother, next time he take something from you

call the police and I bet he will stop doing it, you might thing I’m weird but if after so many warnings he haven’t stop that means he need a lesion.


I can imagine how hurt you must be feeling about your boy friend. However; let me tell you if you really want him back; the only way is to look good and be strong, I know for my own experience men don’t like cranky women, you have to be strong, look strong and act strong; go to the beauty salon, get a new hair style, put some make up, feel beautiful and he may come back if that is what you wish, and if he doesn’t that means your should be looking to another direction.


You must be thinking I’m nuts but if your gain back your self confidence good things will come to you.


Remember that once your touch bottom the only way out in UP!!!

If you feel like send, me a PM and we can have a chat

Good luck

Wisedup,


I think you're just experiencing what many women go through and I don't know how old you are but you sound pretty sane. When you get older I think you'll realise that obviuosly you're the only sane one of the lot and your brother is going to face the the whole impact of his deeds and himself as he gets older and that's not going to be pretty.You'll have to show a lot of compassion, and you sound like just that person. At least your parents succeeded with one of you!


Focus on your good points and the fact that you've had a boyfriend (many haven't!), the fact that you will probably have another one in the future! Use this time to expand on that good person that is you.. it'll come in very handy in the future and you'll have more resources to help yourself and others.

Move in with a friend to escape fromt the sibbling/family pressure and and then start to sort out the other stuff. Men are like busses - another one or two will come around the corner. Probably when you don't need them. Also you need to be comfortable and secure being alone before you crash into another relationship. As for your brother, you are not doing him any favours by letting him steal. Your parents need to address this issue as well or they will start to loose things. See if you can stop drinking for a while. If you can, (and I'm no expert!) it's probably just a reaction to all the stuff happening. If not, then you need help for that as well.

You work and earn. You should live alone and get a life. Be strong.

Wiseup, my advise to you is to settle one thing at a time. Remember first thing first. No point seeking solace in alcohol. It's going to make you a more miserable person. People always say they cannot live their lives after a failed relationship, but often they will overcome that feeling when/after they found someone new, which to me is a matter of time depends on individual. But don't jump into a new relationship. Cherish the moment now that you're single. Catch up with friends/families whom you've neglected while you're attached. Go out make new friends. There's many place in Singapore where you can chill out and have a decent chat with friends eg RW.


As for your bro, try not to keep too much cash at home and in your purse. Remember crime won't happens without opportunity. If your bro still hurts you, try apply for a PPO. That way he cannot be near you at certain distance. What the rest advise you about renting your own place is a good idea. So for now, cherish your life. You may private email me if you wish to. Things happened for a reason and god won't test us more than we can take ; ). For now take care.

totally agree with chalupa

Reading all ur posts really helped me a lot... I guess I know inwardly that I need to solve all these problems one at a time and not take giant steps and try to solve em' all...Well for some updates on myself..


Well, family wise...like u kind souls out there mentioned, I'm just trying to keep out quarrels with my brother. Work is keeping me occupied so I hardly get to see him as well... Lets hope it maintains this way. I try not to carry too much cash arnd with me as well and lock my room when I sleep at night. (In case you guys think I'm a lil paranoid - caught him attempting to steal in the middle of the night while I was sleeping before and it frightened the hell outta me cos I thought it was a robber!!)


Work wise...I'm still trying to adapt. Its not easy but I'm trying to focus on my work. Guess this is one of the only areas I can have full control of the situation on whether to better my life or just darn break it. We'll see about that in months to come...


Hmm as for the most tricky issue, love wise... I still do miss my ex terribly, thk abt him all the time. But I'm glad to say despite having bumped into him once, I survived the ordeal of seeing him. Of coz my heart aches just thkg abt him and him possibly seeing and screwing other girls...but I guess life still goes on. I so totally find sense in wht Chalupa said (I bet you are a girl as well?? :) ) abt making urself feel n look gd... Not looking for relationship cos heart still aching...but meeting new ppl, so hopefully time heals and till that happens, we'll see...


My drinking problem... Sadly, I'm still drinking but Im trying to cut down on it to max 2 times a wk. I really find it a lil difficult to stop, Im not sure why. But I really do realise that drinking only makes me feel worse the day after. When I wake up knowing my problems are still there and I was only having FUN at that moment when Im numbed with alcohol. Sigh.


I thank everyone here for yr kind posts... I really got great advices and really appreciate them. Its good to know that well, the world is not as fXXked up as I thk it is, that there are genuinely nice ppl arnd who are kind enough to help. :)

I don't think there is anything wrong with a drink now when feeling stressed out - even if there is a price to pay the next day - as long as it does not interfere with work or get you into trouble. 2 times week doesn't sound like a drinking problem (unless you're starting at 8am). I wouldn't beat yourself up about that.


I'd hold off looking for another bf until you feel better about yourself - negotiate your next relationship from a position of strength - not weakness

why u don't move out?the money your brother stole and the money for the treatment after he beating you up is probably enough for you to rent a small house.And you don't have to worry about him everynight.It feel so good when you have your little lovely apartment or even a room that you can think of how to decorate it.To be honest.I am so glad i left home.

I hope that i can offer some useful advice on this. Bad things do happen and they can get us down for sure, but the quickest way out is to find a way to be more positive, even when that seems so hard.

For a start think about people who have really bad insoluble problems, like for example, parents of a child who is born badly retarded or a child who just died in an accident. I read not long ago of some poor grandparents in Australia who were looking after their two young grandchildren on their farm, and then found them both drowned in a water tank. Or Jack Nicklaus, the famous golfer whose young grandson was found drowned in a spa when under the care of his parents nanny. Strong stuff, but it can help you to see your problems in a lesser light.

Secondly, and I have used this myself, even when you are feeling down, just try to do one small positive thing each day, and pencil it down in your diary. You mightn't even enjoy doing these things (for example joining friends for a drink, whatever) but do them and it might soon start to work for you...good luck

Letting out the pain and pressure through different channels will help relieve some of the pain to keep your sanity. What is even more important is to have realize the situation that you are in and take action.

You have to get out of the situation and that may mean moving out. This will be a good foundation to start from.

I just came out of a nasty breakup afew months back. It isnt easy to stop thinking about him, it doesnt help when everywhere you go, you have either been there with him or something similar to that. Even going to the supermarket was a challenge to me at one time cos I felt so ALONE-It is not easy.

Meeting new people is also hard because you constantly question yourself if you have done it SO WRONG for the past years what is the likelihood of you getting it right this time?


There is no quick fix but let me share what are some of the things I did that helped me

1) Remove all memories of him (emails, letters, photos, reciepts, cards, momentos of any kind)

2) If possible, Go work in another country and start afresh

3) Get a new hobby that you can focus your energies on.

4) Work out and feel GREAT about yourself as a person

5)Do not attempt to contact him even if you feel you need to talk or if you feel like he is the only one that understands you.

6) Be adventurous, Try new products like toiletries, food products so the old stuff will not remind you of him.

7)Do not leave the house without telling yourself - I am hot!!

8) Do not shut yourself up at home - Go out even when you dont want to , Go anyway.

9) Do not do one night stands, it makes you feel worst the next day


I wouldnt recommend you to be attached at least 3 months after the break up - It will be a REBOUND, dont waste your emotions or risk your self esteem over it.


Last but not least- Remind yourself this. He does not deserve you. If he can hurt you like he did, he is NOT WORTH IT!!! Definitely do not kill your body with 2 much alcohol... IT IS NOT WORTH IT.


I know it sounds cliche (It felt like that when someone told me this when I was dumped) This will pass in time, your pain WILL go away, you WILL overcome this...If it doesnt kill you, it will make you stronger...You go girl!!

Hi,Wisedup


I have same feeling with you and I have similar experience as you have.My bf left me when I started my 2nd job.And that moment I missed him so much and I felt I could not adapt new job.But actually,Not like that totally!!You will find new friends and new excitment.Don't look back your life.Move on.Keep your life busy and try to know more new friends.They will bring you unexpectable suprise.I used to went to pub with my colleagues.It's really a lot of fun.You will know more nice people.Don't always make youself trapped in black sadness.Forget him!But I have to say I like drinking much more than before.I like the feeling when I was a bit drunk.I was writing diary recently to release my bitterness.The bitterness not for ex bfs just for life situation.Anyway,dink is a happy thing but please don't always indulge yourself in achole.You can join some entertainning organzation ect.Move on Move on Move on!!!