Posted by
cgirl
18 yrs ago
Is it okay to chase after a guy? When I was younger, I didn't want to commit so I never had to chase after a guy. They usually just come up and ask me out, call me all the time and chase after me. Now, I want a steady relationship but no guy chases after me. My ex-boyfriend said I was too passive (didn't try to call him often, was always too busy to spend time with him, etc.) so he met someone else. After that, I tried to be more aggressive but it scared the guys away. My most recent break-up came from a guy I really liked, I called him every week, I told him all the time that I liked him and tried to make things work. But he got scared and left. Guys, isn't it flattering to have a girl who is willing to risk rejection and like you this much?
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I love aggressive women. I hate chasing them. If a woman plays coy or hard to get or "innocent" with me, I'll immediately drop the chase and find someone more honest and straightforward... or less innocent. ;)
What you do would keep me hooked. But I do the same thing, and that scares some of the girls away too...
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"Well, she may not be playing coy or hard to get or "innocent" with me....she is just not that into you... "
True. In which case I should give up the chase anyway. Either way, I'm covered... and satisfied these days. :)
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Although in my experience I did fall for one girl who was super-aggressive and promised me the world only to shift her attention once she "got" me. Hurts. Just because they're keen doesn't mean they're dependable. I've also been in a four-year relationship with someone who I slept with the first night we met, and the relationship had the potential to go even further if not for unexpected circumstances...
I do know one exceptional "hard to get" girl who once you get her, she's totally loyal. I just wouldn't have the patience to go through that, because no, I don't enjoy the chase, though I realize the reward can be quite good.
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I would stop the chase if the gal I chase is too passive. Say, it is only me who do the calls all the time and she does not call very often. My interpretation is : she is not that into a relationship at all, so why should i still waste my time for an expected unpleasant result?
Lately, I meet a lady who is quite aggressive. She tells me all the time that she quite likes me and would like to see our relationship fruitful. In fact, i have good feeling about her. But I am a bit scared off coz I consider that her pace on a relationship is much more faster than me. It makes me not that into it this time!!!! :(
My view is that, too aggressive / passive in a relationship would scare people away!
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There is a saying that goes 'A guy chases a girl until she catches him' or the one liner from a guy 'Hey babe you must be so tired,you have been running through my mind all night' nothing wrong with 'chasing' as long as it's not 'stalking' or seeking someone who doesn't return the feeling then you are just a creep.
The mating game is a hard call pursuing somebody can be flattering to that person but only if there is the interest there otherwise it becomes weird.
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