Posted by
2anneu
18 yrs ago
Guys, I'd like to hear this from you. If you're really interested in pursuing a woman, would you understand if she is simply not ready to sleep with you after only 5 - 6 weeks? She's not saying no but simply needs a little bit more time. I'd like to hear from the guys out there how long are they willing to wait if the woman they are dating is simply not ready to go all the way just yet.
ps: I'm splitting my time between Asia and Europe thus making it more difficult after about 5 weeks knowing this person.
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All depends on what your view on sex is. From your post it seems like it is something that you at least assign some value to. Look at it this way. When you have something that is very nice and expensive you keep it in a safe place and you are careful who you show it to. If you have something that is cheap, it doesn't mean anything to you and you would give it away even. Point being if sex is something special to you there is absolutely no problem waiting and being sure it is something you want to share. In fact it is wise in a lot of cases. How long? As long as she needs to be fully ready. There should be absolutely no pressure.
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I'll respond with a question. I guess you can call me naive. I like a girl who has a very strong sex drive and is willing to try new things with me.
My question is this: What is the chance that a girl who waits months before choosing to have sex would be sexually uninhibited once our sexual relationship is established?
Yes, there are many women who think sex is special, and something to be treasured and kept safely. But there are others who simply think sex is "dirty". How do guys distinguish between the two?
I really don't want to put months into a relationship, only to find out that the woman I've fallen in love with simply doesn't like sex.
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I wouldnt say sex is a must, but does adding intimacy. If he truly likes you, he would wait until you are ready.
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I agrre with poor man - after 5-6 weeks I would start to wonder if it ever was going to happen. There are women who say "soon, just be patient" when they really mean "never". I think you need to communicate to him that you're not one of these women.
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Not funny. If a wife says no to sex and the husband does it anyways, it is rape. Sadly, a recent survey said a majority of people in Hong Kong didn't think so.
I hope the guy in Singapore was convicted.
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Simply put, why risk your like for someone you have only known for 5 weeks, girls need to get smart..Life does not depend on sex only, that only last for a small amount of time, and what he may leave you could last a lifetime..
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Car Lover,
Rape is something that is so wrong, so heinous, that there can be no compromise, and no guessing if "no means no".
Some women do like to be "taken". In such cases, they need to make their intentions clear, and make it clear (in writing, preferred) that "no doesn't mean no" in advance. In addition, they should have a "codeword" that really, definitively means no.
I reassert my position that if the wife says he had sex with her against her apparent will, he should go to jail.
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Everyone is different with different core values when it comes to a relationship. If a guy respects the lady, 5-6 weeks is nothing.
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Hood
18 yrs ago
Hanuman is right, sort of. It doesn't matter how many dates/meeting they have had, if both parties are interested in each other's brains and not just the bod, sex can wait, heck, even after marriage.
Though not something we kind of hear of nowadays, but i really think sex should wait after marriage or when the couple are ready to commit in a serious relationship. That cannot be define as to how long before arriving to the committed status. Both have to be in one to know when it happens.
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Hood, as I've explained before, for those who withhold sex until after marriage, what happens when after the vows they find themselves sexually incompatible?
The only people who would be immune to this would be people for whom sex means nothing, not "something special between two loving people". How can it be "something special" if it's really, really bad (which happens)?
Unless you're already past retirement age and past the sexual period of your life, you've got to have sex before you can know if it's a relationship that can last.
(And they ask why cheating/divorce is so prevalent these days!!!!)
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6 weeks?!?! I believe that if the chemistry is there for a relationship, we will sleep together within one week!
But, I also let her know that I expect to sleep with her within one week. I do this because I believe that sex is a very important part of a relationship. I have had short relationships where we were not sexually compatible. And, I have had long relationships where the sex was great and we learned we did not fit and split as friends.
If a woman tells me she will not have sex before a certain lenght of time or dates, I say goodbye.
Oh, and every woman was someone I met who was ALSO looking for an LTR.... not a ONS.
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I think you are just not into him
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Thanks to all who have responded to my question. I had a chat with this guy, and he admitted that he needed to get physical first before deciding if he could commit to a relationship AND that he's simply not the relationship kind, especially since I am spending a lot of time in Europe. I genuinely believe that if a guy is truly interested in a woman, he would not mind waiting to get physical with her. I'm not talking about waiting till marriage. All I'm saying is that the woman should never be pressured or pushed into a physical relationship.
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I think he means HE needs to "get to know you naked" before being friends or maybe a relationship .....
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I am the relationship kind. But, I will not continue or pursue a (potentially) lasting relationship until I know that we are sexually compatible. The longer to discover that aspect, the less likely there will be a relationship.
If I had to put a time limit - 2 weeks. If she doesn't go to bed with me by then, it is over.
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I have too much time on my hands today..
I agree with Big John and 2anneu. I think there's too much pressure and expectation on women to give it up in the name of 'compatability.' As a woman, I'm either inspired or not by my partner and the results in the bedroom will attest to that. I don't think there's any greater killer to a potential relationship than being pressured into too much too soon. Undoubted, I'm an anomaly but I lost interest in a sought after bachelor recently for just that reason. I'm sure he doesn't know why I'm not interested, should I tell him?!
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