Posted by
sandwich
18 yrs ago
I come from a traditional Chinese family which my parents believe it is wrong to sleep with a boy before marriage, not to say move in and stay together. But my bf has this super busy job that he needs to stay in office till 9 pm everyday, and sometimes even work on Saturday. So basically we are not able to meet during the week. At the same time, he also has his friends that they hang out regularly over the weekend. I can't ask him to cut off that part of his life just because of me. So this allows us very limited time to stay together. He was talking about I move in to live with him so that we will get to see each other more often. But I know this simply won't be possible for my parents to accpet. Everyone tells me it takes time for relationship to work out, but I simply don't know where to find all this time. Is there anyone who can help me see a way out? Thanks a lot!
Please support our advertisers:
Hi car lover, thanks a lot for your reply. Just a small question here - I know it sounds silly but I am asking anyway. How many time do you think a couple should spend together? I know it really depends on different people, I just want to know your opinion. Right now he needs to work Monday to Saturday, and I believe he is making effort to meet me on Sunday. But he also has his friends that I know they usually meet on Sunday evening. So basically we got only a few hours to spend together on Sunday during the day. I don't think this is enough, but it seems there is no other time free for him. Waiting for your reply. Thanks!
Please support our advertisers:
You mean you cannot meet your BF during the weekdays? late after he finishes work?
You can spend time in his place any time you want but in my opinion, moving into his place to live with him is a big no no. It's a huge committment. And, if you are based in Shanghai, you would know how much grief this will cause your parents (am not saying that you should listen to every word they say but being sensitive to the cultural values is also important).
Good luck.
Please support our advertisers:
If we meet late after he finishes work, I will get back home very late. But I need to get up very early in the morning, so it is kind of tiring for me. But you are right about the culture sensitive, I need to think a way out. Thanks a lot for your reply!
Please support our advertisers:
sandwich!!He should be the one think of the way out.Can't he spend time with his friend during the weekdays,and sunday for you?
Please support our advertisers:
Hi Missysun, thanks a lot for your reply. Well, he spends time doing sports with his friends. I reckon he won't like to do that after a tiring day in office. But you are right that he also needs to make an effort in time.
Please support our advertisers:
I am only speaking out my gut feeling: if he is more interested in playing sports with his friends on weekend than meeting you; and if you are the only one who is trying to make effort to meet, he is not the right one for you. Moving into his place to achieve this goal will be a big mistake.
Sorry for disappointing you but move on.
Please support our advertisers:
It doesn't seem like you have known this guy for a long time, so just take it easy. I also agree with csun that if he isn't able to take more time off the job for you he is not really committed.
On the other hand I would think saturday night to be perfect for the both of you to meet after work, since he nor you doesn't seem to have to go to work the other day you can spend the evening at least together and see eachother the day after as well before he goes out for sports, if he can't make free the saturdayevening, dump him he is not true...
Please support our advertisers:
You must be logged in to be able to reply.
Login now
Copy Link
Facebook
Gmail
Mail