Posted by
sheep
18 yrs ago
No i don't think so at all, when a man is still single at middle age then i would begin to worry that hes a bit of a player having not settled down yet, divorced no i would not think anything bad.
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Seems to me that SHE doesn't really want HIM. Now he is divorced, she is under pressure to formalize their relationship.
Yesterday I heard a story. One lady is dating a married man. They are madly in love. The man is going to divorce his wife to be with this girl.
In fact, the girl is also married but he doesn't know.
The story made me wonder: isn't honesty the basics in any relationship? Why so much deception going on?
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In my view, you do not divorce for someone -- another man or a woman -- you divorce for your own self. For your own happiness, given that you're unhappy in your marriage for whatever reason, and are even having an affair or are in love outside of it. Divorce is a step you take for yourself not for your lover. So you really can't blame your lover in case he/she decides not to take the next step with you.
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Agree with that only in part, men will step out of a relationship if they are A) Bored to death by their "wife", B) Feel they are not treated fairly by their wife (complaining about everything and anything,comparing,...)
They will stay and be damn faithfull when: they are sexually still interested (if sex is fun) and they feel their wife might find someone else to replace them (jealousy, but don't overdo it)
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To some extent I think it is true, Lady W.
Men, I reckon, are more insecure when it comes to leaving their marriage. They go ahead and have an affair, but when are comfronted by their wives, usually backtrack and want to cosily stay in their comfort zone till the wife decides to push them away! ;-)
But well, these things never follow a norm. Depends from man to man and marriage to marriage.
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"Agree with that only in part, men will step out of a relationship if they are A) Bored to death by their 'wife', B) Feel they are not treated fairly by their wife (complaining about everything and anything,comparing,...)"
Quick! Someone send that explanation to my ex. I certainly left her without anyone "on the side". Sad thing is, after I left, and to this date, five years later, she still neglects our daughter by working until 10pm, and leaves our daughter alone with relatives when she goes for a "massage" in Shenzhen on the weekend (if I can't take her)... yet she still blames me for leaving.
I left because I couldn't take the neglect any more.
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???
So why did you leave the daughter with her???
You left because she neglected you or the daughter??
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Zonked> I really had no choice. And yes, I left her because she neglected me. It wasn't sudden, and I had been trying very hard for three years to resolve the situation, which instead of getting better, got worse as our emotional bond eroded.
Despite the difficulty on our daughter under the current situation, she gets more love and attention between the two of us now than she did when we were together. And she has turned out to be an unbelievably remarkable child. She would never have gotten to where she is now had she been living in a house with sad parents who by this point would be completely unable to love one-another.
By the way, I've requested to take domestic custody of my daughter, but right now it doesn't seem like it's going to happen, because my ex still harbors a grudge against me.
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Sadly, the black cat is right on this one. Single unattached men are less attractive to many women. The reason is simple. Many women have screwed-up, contradictory ideas about men's wants and needs. On one hand, they don't want a man who wants a relationship, because it carries too much baggage. The married/attached guy is perfect. No baggage. On the other hand, they see a single guy who doesn't want a relationship, and they think he just wants to play and never settle down. Again, the married/attached guy shows through his existing relationship that he has a heart. He is capable of settling down, which is a good thing. But there's no risk that he'll want to settle down with you, so that's a good thing too.
All in all, it comes down to the modern woman's fear of commitment.
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