Relationships... contd.

What do you do when you just know he WAS the one.....? The one and only...

Well, nothing was right... and yet, took it to a point of no return and then, even further to the THE POINT OF NO RETURN!!


How did you start believing that there is no ''one and only''?

When it's so good with everything wrong around you.... they HAVE to be one and only. You don't stick around otherwise for so long!

I would hazard a guess that it takes years to work out he is (or was!) your one and only. If he's still your best mate and understands you better than any gf after 20 years, then you might be onto a winner.....who knows. People separate after 50 years because they've suddenly met their 'one and only'!!!

Wow... if you don't meet them in your lifetime, what's the point anyway??!


And if someone gives you the feeling that they're one and only, isn't that just reason enough to feel that way??

And it is not silly at all to feel that way. Haven't you ever felt it??

That there is only one ONE for you??


Haven't you wondered that what you lost was what you wanted? Never any regrets?

There are many 'one's out there.


If you don't think so its just you are excluding others simply becuase you want to feel sorry for yourself.


Get over it.

Yep, sure. If it was that easy to get over, I would never have reached this stage!


As to many ONE out there -- unfortunately, I am not like one of the many women who have advised in some other thread to find a different bf for every meal/week! They're lucky to feel that way. Or maybe, I am old fashioned.


There is some such thing as love. And when that happens it isn't easy to move on. Wonder though that these men and women are missing that feeling altogether. Though it brings with it pain, there is a lot to cherish about it too.

Thank you, Wat'sup! You atleast made me smile.

This is a hard question to answer, althought all of us wanna know about that.


But happy and pain, exciting and dispointing... that's all part of our life. without them, life gonna be really boring...

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON...


Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a

lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become.

You never know who these people may be (possibly your roommate, neighbor, professor, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger),

but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.


Sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those

obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.


Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or means of good luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved,

straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.


The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact they are probably the most poignant and important ones.


If someone hurts you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learned about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart.

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things. Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that possibly can or you may never be able to experience it again.


Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to.


Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you.

You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets. Most importantly, if you love someone tell them, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store.

Learn a lesson in life each day you live.


"Today is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday."

Was it worth it?


MAKE IT A GREAT DAY!

Wow, Qart and JC, your posts have moved me to tears, right in the morning! Just when I thought -- no more of these should escape my eyes!!


You know, I totally believe in what you both have written. Totally. Everything happens for a reason and that one should fight for love.


Yes, I believed in it while I was in my relationship with the love of my life, which ended abruptly(though it was anyway supposed to end) more than a month back because of my actions.


But, there was no way to fight for something I knew had happened for a reason for me.

I just could never have fallen in love so madly with a guy. I have never felt that sort of love for anyone in my life, though I've been in love before.


But I had fought, fought a bit too much, to keep it in my life.... there was little else I could do than just get him kidnapped. He knew I wanted him as much as my own life...

ok, ok, I do not want to go this way and be bombarded with questions... I do not want to answer anything... it is just too painful. All I know is I lost a losing battle and that I'll always be blamed for it; even if not by anyone but myself.

This thread is pure poetry. I'm getting inspired with love, hope and all that jazz!!


Coming from a breakup myself, I'm a bit cynical of love and happily-ever-after. I do know that there are a few people in my life that I'm grateful to have. Going through a difficult time you get to really appreciate your loved ones, whether it be friends or family. I don't believe that there is a "one" so to speak. I know that throughout your life journey you'll meet people that will affect your life in different ways. Qart put it so poetically, it was very moving. And very true. That's why I think marriage is hard. Because by getting married, you put a stake in the road and say you are the one for me for the rest of my life, and yet you haven't met everyone that will come in to your life. But I think that's a different topic all together. But I do think that there is such a thing as great loves. Loves that conusume you and distroy you when it ends. I have been through one of those myself in my younger years. I came out of it barely alive and it took me a few years to find myself again. At the time I regretted ever meeting that person and suffering when it was over. But now, after quite a few years of living life as an adult, you tend to appreciate all the experiences you've had. Now I am grateful for going through that and having loved that way as I know that I am capable of such feelings. Personally I don't think I would want to experience that kind of love again. It was too consuming and exuasting. The highs were unimaginiable, but the lows were devastaing. It is too much for the every day life. These days I'm more concerned about maintaining my sanity and living an ordinary life. As it is, I feel that I have too much excitment and I could use some mundane.


So Zonked, my advise is, be strong. You'll get over it, even though it doesn't feel like you would. And one day you'll be able to look back and be happy that at least you went experienced such love. Not everyone does. Will you love like that again? Who knows. But until then you can cherish the memories you have...

Strength -- you know, sometimes it becomes a burden.... anyone here agrees??


I think I am already too strong to deal with different situations in life.


But, getting over being in love with someone, isn't about strength. When you sleep and wake up with his thoughts, when you want to share every little detail with him, when you just want to see his smile and that sparkle in his eyes.... any amount of strength fails you.


When you do not want to forget him. WHen you desperately want him....

Getting over someone is not about forgetting them. It is accepting reality. If you cannot have the relationship you want with someone (for whatever reason) you need to be able to accept it and carry on without falling apart. You need to be able to say "this is what I really want, but I can't have it so I need to go on with my life and preserve my sanity."


That is where strength comes in. It's getting through the tough times when you think you cannot.

Dear Zonk, after reading all those people's experience here, I wish I could tell you something that can help you to relieve. However, I'm more envy you that you and those people who have experienced the strong love. I did have met few guys who I felt like them but all the time, they were here for short time that I felt sad that I could not develop a relationship with them. And keep reminding myself those happy times spent with them even it was a very short time. Many people so wanted to experience love, you are the one that experienced it, so please cherish what you had and look forward. I know it's hard, but maybe you should think like what Gilmore said.

Zonk... its hard and we have all been there. A couple of years ago I was in the same situation thinking that he was "the one and only". I got a big wake-up call and realize that he can't be "the one" if we broke up and don't share the same values etc. As soon as I realize that (off course it still hurts) but life seemed to get better and now I am seeing a wonderful wonderful guy. Life is too short to dwell in sadness.... live the life u want to live for yourself.

For the love which had gone

It gone with the wind


For the love which yet to arrive

take it with smile and open arm


There is the time we believe

The " TRUE ONE " is at the corner


When the true moment comes

He is yours


Cheers to you ! Zonked !