Posted by
shazaroo
18 yrs ago
Hi, i am writing this on behalf of my friend, she confides in me all of the time about her life here and what she should do....i try my best but my own situation isnt great either.....
Here gos and i will tryu to be short. She is english her hubby is local chinese. She is in HK for the past 16 year, gave her a lot to be with him and stay here. They now have a kid together. She is feeling very trapped now, not enjoying hk anymore in fact is so homesick of her family in uk that is is depressing her making her ill. Her marriage is rocky because her hubby doents understand or respet her feelings, she wants to make a life in uk, he doesnt, they argur all the time, they are unhappy so why should she stay in hk and in a marriage that isnt healthy, all for the sake of the child? is that fait to any of them? they generally appear to be opposite attracts, want different things etc. obvisly if she went home to uk she'd take her son but she doesnst want to hurt her hubby with that either. its like they are this fake loving family all because of the child.......any input would be grreat... thanks for reading thus far.
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I heard that story as well from the news. If you have a fake loving family all because of the child, dont you thinks that the child also dont know that both of you are unhappy family. Even they are a child but they can feel it. In this case the child will grow unhealthy mentality if both of you carry on your pretending. Some families they used pretending until 20 yrs, but the kids also suffering from there parents pretended. In my opinion both of should be open minded and you must take each own way to make both of you find happiness, if cant save your happiness. And the kids has a freedom to love both of you as well.
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Why doesn't she return to the UK for a couple of months without kid/hubby, so she can think over her options??
After a while she will know what to do, she does need to get out of HK for a while, coz you never see things too clearly when you are in them all of the time everyday...
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thanks for the reply guys...i know she would not leave the son...too much responsibilities to him here, school etc and i know the dad works unusual hours ..... she is off to uk in the summer so could use that time i suppose to figure thiugns out. i suppose 4 now all she can do is prey that things get better because this is no way to live...i know...
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sheep
18 yrs ago
Chris 79 very hard for a mother to leave kids for a couple of months to sort your head out, me as a mother however screwed up could never do this.
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She isnt just gonna up and leave with her son....it wasnt her choice to come to HK. She came with her family at the time...stayed....married etc all when she was very young. Regardless her situation is that she is trapped i suppose and only can she/hubby work it out.
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She is fooling herself if she thinks that moving to UK will solve her marriage. It has nothing to do with location they reside. She needs to workout the real problem (whatever that may be) with her hubby first. HK is not the issue here. Has she thought of marriage counseling?
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Thanks everybody for the replies, whilst i didnt want this to get too personal ..... i was merely seeking for some guidance i could give her....im sure she has through about all of these issues and we are not in a position to judge her. lets leave it here. ok
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