Help! Desperate for Advice on New Guy



ORIGINAL POST
Posted by Tassles 18 yrs ago
I am so confused. Met someone few weeks back and everything was so good and we are obviously very attracted to each other. He seems to be a decent guy who is interested in a long term relationship. We were just getting to know each other better before making any kinds of decision. But this week, everything changed. His emails started to sound more platonic and for the first time in weeks, he is not making plans to meet me, eventhough I have hinted broadly that I would like to meet up. (only an idiot wouldn't get that hint).


What went wrong? Just last weekend, we had a nice romantic time, still cuddling and kissing and talking about stuff. And then, within a couple of days, his demenour changed?


Why does he seem to have lost interest in me? Why do I feel that he is pulling away from me all of a sudden. In case you are thinking that I was pressuring him into anything serious over the weekend, I wasn't.


This has very much upsetted me as I genuinely like this guy. Help!!!! I can't figure out what is going on and why is he behaving this way all of a sudden? Its like weeks of spending weekends together and suddenly I get pushed aside.


Need the opinion of both girls and guys on this.

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COMMENTS
BarefootChrissy 18 yrs ago
I hate to go all SATC on you, but even my personal experience will agree that if a guy is really into you, he'll make the time and effort to be with you. All that "I've been busy" and "oops, didn't get your subtle hint" BS wouldn't even enter his mind if you're all he wants.


Why not casually ask him what's going on? He might lie through his teeth but at least it gives you some peace of mind. Alternatively you can just start acting the same way he is and see what happens. If he really likes you HE will start calling/emailing you to meet up...you never know!


When you really think about it though, what's the worst thing that could happen? Maybe in the end you find out he doesn't like you that much, you move on and start dating other guys who would most likely be 20 times better (if you're careful)...isn't that part of the fun? :)


Good luck and hope it all works out for you...

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Oceanview 18 yrs ago
He met someone else. Move on.

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Tassles 18 yrs ago
Hey people, thanks for your 2 cents worth. I know that I shouldn't obsess over him. I am trying very hard to keep him out of my mind. Its going to be tough. But I will try. Its been painful so far. Crazy huh? Falling so hard in just a couple of weeks?

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Druzzil 18 yrs ago
I have read a "manual" how to attract girls.

there is some things most girl says a guy that is allways availble are not attractiv, I had done it myself a few times, been dying to see her but instead said I had already other plans.


I am singel so maybe the book is telling crap but if I have read it and done I am sure other guys read and know the same "rule".


or maybe he really was busy with other stuff

one thing that I am surly I can speak for every man on earth is man hate dragging up old things

forget it and move, act like nothing be happy to see him next time. being apart from each other build more feeling when you finaly see each other again.

couples that spend 24/7 together will very soon get tired of their partner. nothing bad to do things apart from eachother, more thing to talk about..how was your weekend, what did you guys do..and so on. if she followed only to be around him she will be bored of being there and not feel happy to see him again when back home.


just my point of view

Good luck Tassles

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lulu 18 yrs ago
My comment got deleted cos Ed thinks i am being scrastic. Actually I am not. I discovered what is really the problem on most people's demand these days. They looking to get happiness from someone else!! then they want someone to be in control themselves, to change them and love them. Then they got demanding, obessive and wondering why people walk away. Same as many of the threads above.


I got round to it before and I found this behaviour was absolutely unrealistic and impossible. There is one advise i can give, you have to search happiness on your own , cannot depend on other men/women to provide it to you.


Join a club, get a pet, learn something (language, cooking), travelling, try to find things that make you happy. Not joking, I'd been trying all of these stuff in the last 7 years and still not happy. But i finally found it, it is not easy, but you've got to be patient.


My happiness is not a boyfriend or hassling any perfect relationship: Is just have my own space, and have a dog. I now understand sometime to get control of a dog is not easy, so why people want to control others feeling?


I am not being scrastic , I am just being realistic. Soon you will know...

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Tassles 18 yrs ago
Hi People, thanks for the additional views and encouragement. Electrode, he hasn't had his way with me yet. But its not to say he hasn't tried once. Anyway, I am just acting cool and neutral, and if he never calls me again or asks me out again, I will be really sad. But what the heck, I dont' want to be with someone so fickle, no matter how close he is to being my ideal guy.


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Tassles 18 yrs ago
Hi, gosh I feel so bad. I know in my last post I sounded sensible, but when I woke up this morning, I really felt bad. You know, its the post break-up like feeling and believe it or not, the heart and chest feels a little tight and heavy. I know that some people will think that I am such a loser, sure, maybe I really AM a loser, falling for someone so soon, and that someone is likely a scumbag.


Its been a couple of days since I last heard from him, and I can't help but feel that he has met someone new. Man, it feels so lousy just saying that as I picture him romancing someone else, just as he had romanced me.

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