Posted by
cym
18 yrs ago
An old college friend was visiting hong kong and came stayed with me over new years.We hung out and got along really well.Connected amazingly and on the last few days we kinda hooked up.But when he left it was alls good blah blah!!While he was here he met ,and spoke to my friends too.But one of my best friends(carrie) who lives in another country also spoke to him.He kinda thot she sounded cute.
Anyway after he left and went back to his part of the world,I visited there on work and he couldnt see me as he had family and was busy.Yeah i felt bad as we had connected over the holiday and hooked up.He was single and so am I ,so i thot somewhere we would connect.From his side there was a sudden coldness to me.
Anyway now i get this sms saying he wanted my best friend(Carrie)number as he was visting her country on work.I gave it to him,now i hear from Carrie he has texted her saying he is coming there even before he got there so way in advance.It made me upset and now my mind is racing ??
Is it fair to me I liked him and if he did too while he was here.Now why is trying to meet my friend who he spoke to once and doesnt even know?I dont know what to make of it.Cant understand why he went cold on me too??
Anyone understand me??
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Sorry, but he is not serious with you. He took advantage of staying with you here just to check out things, have fun or perhaps safe hotel expenes. When you visited him, he did not have time to see you!? Unbelieveable and very unpolite ! If Carrie is really your best friend, she should not see him at all, or even better, give him a lesson....think about something ;-)
Even you like him it's better to let go, but inside you know this already. You deserve better !
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cym
18 yrs ago
I am upset that he doesnt even know my friend and he has spent ten days with me ??Now three weeks have just past and he wants to get to know my friend.This is the most devastating news.My friend too doesnt mind meeting him ,after all i have been such a good friend to her and this is what i get in return??
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Try not to think too much ! They will meet anyway and believe me, nothing will happen ! Carrie will still be your friend, and the guy will continue dating the world....
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fully agreed with pinolino!!!
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You shouldn't have given him the number! Give your friend the background info and then let her make her choice.
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she is your Best Friend right?
I always think to be accorded the status of 'best friends' one has to achieve a level of trust and understanding with one another.
Tell your best friend about this guy, what happened i.e you guys hooking up, your visit and that now he wants to contact her. AND that he is possibly interested in hooking up with her too. AND that you'd feel unhappy about that if it were to happen.
If she is your best friend, she would know what to do.
Prevention is better than cure.
Oh- and that guy sounds like a jerk I once knew. They usually operate using the same SOP. You'd be doing your friend a favour by telling her.
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Another hypothesis:
He could have liked you, let himself get involved in a light way with you, esp. if this was understood to be on offer from your end, then met your friend through you, and some other nature of feelings/interests towards her could have taken him by surprise.
Not meeting with you in his country could have been a not-so-brave way of trying to show he's not that keen to pursue matters further with you.
And then he would still have had some guts, admittedly, to ask you for your friend's contact details.
The thing is she may have reciprocated some feelings or attraction for him too, who knows.
In any case, no need to waste time in crying over him. He's at least clearly not interested as much in you as you are/have been in him.
I would advise you to let them both live their lives, you don't really have a choice anyway! A little hard for the ego, but that's about it...
(just as there's someone else for you)
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i understand you completely and feel sorry for you. please just let go and live. there is something better out there for you than this cold-hearted SOB.
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My Dear CYM,
He's the sincere type. Take care
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