Posted by
happydays
18 yrs ago
Don’t be upset Kopfan. Of course there are still caring persons here in HK. For sure you will meet some very soon. Just bear in mind one thing though, never have too much expectation on others or you will be really disappointed. You will be much happier if they do really help one day. But trust me, there are still some true and caring friends out there. Cheer up.
Please support our advertisers:
Running away from stuff has seldom helped anyone, when faced with a problem it is often better to just dash in head to wall. If you start running away from stuff that happens in life it will often end with all of that stuff catching up with you at once, it might be this is happening to you right now, better to face the problem and tear it all out by the root....
Please support our advertisers:
kopfan, give it more time and patient. people can be busy with work, life, forgetful, etc., but there are nice people here. for examle sometime i said i would call my friend back but then work, phone, meeting, then back home i am exhausted but still have personal life to deal with which runs out my time, then i recall "d*mn i gotta call" but it's too late at night etc. in this town life is really rushy that i keep long term friendship but dont often get together because of the above.
Another thing is that sounds you are fairly stressed out. cheer up, laugh out, find your own life and your energy u will see love and care are around cos a cheerful and self-comfertable person simply attracts good attention easily. Don't run away. people can't bring you a life, a positive you will bring about your own life and people will come into it naturally.
Please support our advertisers:
Kopfan, move on. I know it’s difficult but perhaps it’s really the time for you to move on. It’s not possible to forget the past and we should treat it as a nice memory. It’s lucky that you two had good times and you had good memory but just let bygones be bygones and move on.
I totally understand your feeling and I also wrote a long email to him while I was crying…but it’s the last email. I still treat him as a friend but I know I have to move on. Go out more with people can give you new hope and of course new hope. She is not the only one in the world and you have lots of friends and others things to cherish. I will support you.
Please support our advertisers:
Agree Kopfan. That's a good approach. You will have to keep a distance from her for a while in order to move on. Try to contact other friends or do another things to keep you busy and stop contacting her for a while.
Please support our advertisers:
Aggie
18 yrs ago
kopan...no matter how we suggest to you...u have to awake from the fantasy...by the time you can pick up yrself to move on...u will find yrself strong enough to face her...at that time, she may have another impression on you! who knows...be a man to move on and find the way to treat yrself better....life is good!
Please support our advertisers:
Plenty of experience with that myself. Just tear it out, delete all files, remove all pics and focus on something else besides the "l"-word, try to stick to the routine longer then 3 months and you will find yourself in a whole new world, well 3 months is the minimum at least (it all depends on the length of your relationship of course)
Please support our advertisers:
cool chris79! practical way to dump "heart breaker" out of mind.
Please support our advertisers:
the deed is done, I told her that we should no longer be friends as I wanted more than what she wanted to offer and things were too one sided and it wasn't fair on me being the fallback guy each time, clearly she's not happy and doesn't want to talk to me right now.
have I done the right thing?
Please support our advertisers:
you did the right thing. now you can "get back to yourself" so to speak.
stay strong, resist all urges the call/change your mind/go crawling back weeping like a baby. it gets easier over time, then one day you realize "i wish i had done that sooner".
most relationships aren't forever, and all of them change over time. this one finally ran its course. you realized you weren't getting as much out of it as you were putting in, and unless you're a candidate for sainthood (or her parent!) it could not have lasted forever.
be strong, and love and appreciate those who truly love and appreciate you back.
Please support our advertisers:
thank you for confirming that I have done the right thing, I still feel guilty etc etc but of course these will pass in time. Just need to keep my mind off her now somehow.
Please support our advertisers:
perhaps there are other friends whom you have neglected, whilst throwing all your time and support at your ex-friend? maybe it's time to re-establish contact and catch up.
or perhaps you have some trips or projects or hobbies that you have put off recently - now is the time to revive them.
or start a "recently ex'd" get-together thread (like the ebullient "Divorcees - wanna get together" thread) and make new friends.
in any case good luck and happy Monday - back to the salt mines now.
Please support our advertisers:
yes I plan on doing that when I return to London this weekend. thanks again.
Guess she's not happy because I pre-empted her as she told me that we need a serious talk when I'm back in London.
A lot of things I didn't get to say either, should I just leave it as it is or tell her everything so we can get closure on this once and for all?
Please support our advertisers:
leave it. wringing out every last detail "for closure" will accomplish nothing, and only gives you an excuse to keep speaking with her. focus on growing your backbone. ;-) (meant as a gentle nudge)
Please support our advertisers:
Ah voiceofreason
You're a star! thanks again
Please support our advertisers:
Tidings, don't see how this is relevant to the current problem.
but thanks for your concern anyway.
Please support our advertisers:
voiceofreason
A big weight has been lifted and of course me being me still miss her even after all thats happened. Stupid huh?
Please support our advertisers:
i see your backbone is coming along nicely ;-)
not stupid at all, perfectly human of you actually. just don't fall off the wagon. make unbreakable weekend plans today to ensure you are not available for any serious-talk emergencies she might try to spring on you. attend to yourself and your work and your other friends who truly appreciate you.
Please support our advertisers:
Yes I'm trying to keep myself busy indeed job hunting etc and networking and all that. I do have a feeling though that she will soon enough contact me once she realises what she's lost as I was the only one she confided in. But tough its too late for that now.
Oh for sure I plan to prove to myself that I am better than what she realised and she has just lost the best opportunity she could ever of wished for in a guy.
Her loss not mine.
Please support our advertisers:
Geez JC thanks for another reality check! Oh of course theres plenty more that I desire but I'm just not ready for it yet. I need to find myself again.
Please support our advertisers:
Hi kopfan,you are not alone.I have the same experience of so called 'friends' giving me empty promises.Promises to meet but back up last mintues and give me silly reason like:Oh,i'm sorry,i've forgotten i need to do bla bla bla....
I do wonder sometimes am i the only weirdos who keep promise and appointment?I feel hurt and silly when i treated them sincerely but was being treated back like dirts.
Sorry,just wanna let off some steam......
Please support our advertisers:
ah right I see tidings 2, no that wasn't the issue as at the time I was in the process of getting residency thus didn't need it.
Please support our advertisers:
p-diana
Yes there does seem to be quite a few of us in the same situation, would love to talk more with you when I'm back in HK, heading back to London for a while next week. Need to claim my taxes back and do some contracting too.
Please support our advertisers:
Please support our advertisers:
Oh latest update, guess who e-mailed me this morning to say that she misses me and wanted to talk as she was going through a rough time.
Please support our advertisers:
I know JC, so far I have said nothing to her. Even wanted to tell her 'tough you had your chance and you blew it, no second chances' but decided not to bother.
Please support our advertisers:
thanks aijin
Yes I'm back to London for a few months then will be in hk for good. can't wait to be finally settled.
Please support our advertisers:
oh chinapumpman, that idea is so so tempting!
Please support our advertisers:
Hi kopfan,i have went through your whole thread.
Would suggest that Silent Is The Best To Response if you have make up your mind not to get involve.....
Please support our advertisers:
thanks p-diana
Oh guess what happened today? I was in Mongkok and started chatting to these two british girls and we hung out for a bit, whoohooo got my confidence back!
Please support our advertisers:
Agree with p-diana... keeping silent is the best thing kopfan888 should do... Even better, "cut" all ties with this person, she's not worth it...
All the best, kopfan888...
Please support our advertisers:
Please support our advertisers:
An advanced welcome to Singapore!
A beer... Sure, write when you are here... but be sure you are a decent "chinapumpman"... Haha...
Please support our advertisers:
Chinapumpman-Well...does not too agree as to fight fire with fire...if so it will become chain melody....not unchain melody....: P
Kofan-How is your meeting on friday going on?Haha....
Please support our advertisers:
p-diana
went well and they were nice girls, won't be keeping in touch with them though, too freaky to exchange e-mails etc after a few hours. didn't want them to think i was some stalker weirdo!
Please support our advertisers:
< Back to main category
You must be logged in to be able to reply.
Login now
Copy Link
Facebook
Gmail
Mail