Posted by
kopfan888
18 yrs ago
If you can't find/see western expat girls between 25-30 in LKF and wanchai then you must be blind, these places are crawling with them.
Tip for you, Dublin Jacks after 8 p.m. loads of them.
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What's the meaning of "They are so concealed", are you joking? Even in the center of Shanghai while the daytime or while the night life you can find many foreigners girls around your age. In some nightclubs there are more foreigners than Asian girls...an other tip for, The Mint or Atika! Good luck!
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wish some would approach me too!
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for god's sake gentlemen, GROW A PAIR AND APPROACH! :-O
you ask "why don't they [women] approach"...well i'll tell you why. it's because no matter how equal and independent we women have become, we will always-till-the-end-of-time-forever-and-ever need to know if you, our potential mates, have the b*lls and confidence necessary to attract us in the first place, and thereafter keep us interested.
if you can't muster up the gumption to come up and say hi...that's pretty sad.
i know there is a very real fear of rejection...but there are only two possible outcomes. one, she's not interested - and i guarantee you 99.99% of the time it's nothing at all to do with you, because she doesn't even know you! two, she IS interested...and who knows where that will take you. voila, you're off to the races!
as for the ladies: if there is some guy that you wish would approach you, give them a little encouragement - a look, a smile, take the umbrella out of your drink and wave it, anything at all!
note that i am not advocating lying or game-playing or leading anyone on. just be open about what you want, and act on it.
sheesh. now everyone go out and have a great weekend.
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vor
in what is supposed to be the age of equality, why is it that the men always have to do the approaching? Yes I approach now and again but also get the girl looking at me smiling etc and as soon as I approach her she walks off! arghh
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kopfan, i already said why we women like to to be approached.
if you give up after one measly attempt, you are either not interested enough to try another time, OR your target was in fact smiling at the guy slightly behind you to your left...
(OR you failed to put cash into her g-string as is the etiquette in such establishments...i am just kidding ;-))
if however she walks off after that second attempt, leave it! approach your next target.
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Yes it hasn't stopped me from doing it but its of course annoying at times when its the guy that has to do all the running. I understand why girls want the guy to approach them etc. thats not the problem.
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lulu
18 yrs ago
oh give me a break, 7's is just around the corner. There are so many western chicks and western men picking around....
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Its the way you dress that women notice first thus of course first impressions count. You could be the nicest guy in the world but if you dress like a poor student then they'll dismiss you out of hand. Whereas you could be the most arrogant bar steward in the world and dress like some armani model then they'll come flocking.
Yes HK is that shallow I'm afraid.
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But then I have this rule that I'd never date a woman that owns a blackberry. So then tidings what is your social scale exactly?
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ah yes st kilda, the same goes for the women here too. skipping lunch so they can save for that latest handbag etc is all too common nowadays.
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Ah yes the number of alledged ceo's in certain bars in lkf seem to be pretty astonishing, Guess I'm not allowed to name the bars where these people frequent. But seriously though if I was at a bar and got chatting to a lady and she whipped her blackberry out I'd be seriously unimpressed and make my excuses and leave.
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specifically blackberry. Because of the image it portrays of the user.
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how do you define success exactly though?
I go to lkf to meet girls because the ones there are actually down to earth and not pretentious. My limit is the red bar in IFC.
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As quoted by tidings 2
'Honestly, I have been approaced by zero Chinese men since I moved here 6 or so years ago'
Its the blackberry I tells ya! :p
I have the expensive suit and the decent hair cut but of course no blackberry, So I guess two out of three aint bad!
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LOL, St Kilda Beach you are so on the money with the kill too early thing.
This will be different because im in GZ not HongKong and this goes for westernized, more than western women of course.
Basically, I have no problem (blond hair, blue eyes) catching the local chinese girls' eye (im not so vain as that sounds but still in any room full of Chinese girls more than a couple dig that and/or the arm hair thing LOL "you hairy like animal... but you perfect") and then smiling at her and getting my long held gaze - smile back thing, then walking up and asking her "ni jao shama mintzu? (of course Im in mainland China, you might need to ask some of the nice girls here how to open in Hong Kong but whatever language you use "whats your name" always seems to work for me. I know you are looking for english speaking girls but if she is westernized chinese, whatever that means, she will still be impressed that you are polite enough and intersted enough to go half way, she wasnt born speaking english she prolly busted her a$$ learning it. When I lived in Miami I hated when people came up to me and the first words out of their mouth were spanish. Do I look spanish, hello- blond, blue eyed, sun burned gringo here. So I dont do that to other people in their own country.
If she replies in Mandarin or Cantonese or whatever, you can go right into "timbudong" (I dont know WTF you are saying)Again find out how to say it in Cantonese. The girls aways laugh when you say that and repeat it back to you for some reason too which is good, any time you make them smile without actually laughing at your social ineptitude you are scoring points.
After that just try speaking english to her. I find more girls than I expect here, probably almost all of them in HK do speak at least some english or at least are willing to try a lot harder once I try to come at them from a direction that is more respectful of her own background and usually unexpected. They like to size you up before you open your mouth, if the first thing that comes out when you do is completly unexpected then she might find that intrigueing and want to know what else you have to say. It makes you mysterious and interesting, LOL. After that just get her to talk about her self and make sure even if its boring that you make her feel good about what she thinks is important about herself.
This all sounds very logical and emotionally removed like a formula but I dont see it that way. If I wasnt genuinely interested in a girl I wouldnt go to the trouble.
Important rule--> DO NOT BRING ANY CHINESE COWORKERS, LOL they are very bad wingmen and will almost immediatly start trying to "help" you by pressuring this nice girl to head for your apartment, right now, tonight. and next thing you know this nice available and formerly interested girl has labeled you a player and you're done.
I keep telling them, guys, this is like a game you play. strategy, subtlty. Even if all you do want is to get her into bed and you come straight out and say it, in front of others no less, then its like youre saying out loud, "Youre a big slut right?" Theres no way she can say yes to that. On the other hand once you smile and get her to, walk up to her and start convo, if she wants to go home w you she will let you know in her own way. If you get her number and text her a short "ni hao, I had fun last night" the next day, she will be all over that and usually call you back right away. Just do like the girls say and pony up, put your ego on the line and talk to her. My Chinese coworker said about a really cute girl I was going to ask out... "if you ask her out and she says no, maybe it will be very bad." Dude, if you dont even ask her youre done before you ever had a chance.
Meeting actual western girls? LOL Are there any in Panyu? I see them from a distance in GZ when I get in there once in a while but mainly I only see Chinese Nationals down here an hour or so South of the city. This doesnt really bother me though because I am working hard to learn Mandarin and there are scores of very beautiful Chinese girls here and they ALL wear leather boots LOL which I think is way sexy on a woman with the right slender build to pull off a calf high boot. No I dont have a foot fetish LOL but I AM a shoe designer so cut me some slack on that.
If you cant find enough western girls then develop a taste for multicultural fare. People are people, at least in Hong Kong you are less likely to need hard core language skills to communicate with locals.
Sorry for running on.
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calendargirl
you are so on the money, I feel the same way too about dating in HK. sad really when I have nice girls back in U.K who I could date and are also future wife material, But my career etc lies in HK. thus I have to sacrifice one or the other.
typical huh.
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I have my cerruti suit on today so no sackcloth for me, they don't want to settle in hk no career prospects for them. thats the problem.
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calendargirl
Thanks, but I guess I'm just going to have to put any serious relationships etc on hold for now. Not my choice but present circumstances dictate this situation I'm in.
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ah indeed, can't have any distractions at the moment either, And relationships are expensive to maintain too especially when I'm trying to launch a business! haha
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Island Hopper
That wouldn't happen to be l*x would it? witnessed that sort of thing a few times too there.
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Nah I think having a t-shirt with your current bank balance would work better in HK!
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Calendargirl I totally agree with you. Back home I regularly dated and always had a bunch of male buddies. I have been single here for over 5 years (except for a two month blunder) and I have very few male friends. The dynamic between men and women is very different here. I am happy in many ways. I love my job, I have a great bunch of female friends, I participate in volunteer work and have some hobbies I am passionate about. When I watch the circus at LKF I believe that I am not missing out on anything, I would have never liked these men and what they stand for anyway. So it is no loss to me!
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Calendargirl, I could relate to your cynism although I have an oriental face (but grew up in the West) and only been in HK for 1.5 yrs. Dated some high flyers. After the initial heat and when I sat down with them checking out what they were really after from a relationship --- being looked after, being supported to climb up the corporate ladder, being sextually satisfied, etc etc --- I seriously believed all of them should marry their maids!!!
Then bang, I met my current bf 3 months ago after I've given up on men. He said that he had well passed the party and fool around stage and now just want to have a serious relationship. So far so good. I am still cynical and often joke that he might disappear the next day. But, I am not silly so could tell that he is genuine and me too.
Believe women can live very happily without men. However, just be open-minded. Your Mr. Right might just be around the corner! Good luck.
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first: well done, cheesypeasplease (or Ed) - i notice the forum title has changed from "chicks" to "women" ;-)
second: calendargirl, despite your cynicism - and i'm sorry for whatever it is that happened to you which has made you so cynical (i have days like that too) - i wholeheartedly agree with you about women achieving true independence in work and relationships, and thus being free not to tolerate unacceptable behavior from men.
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calendargirl
You are so right, the dating game here is so much different from what I'm used to, And yes the rugby 7's. No different to LKF on a weekend night but with a bit of sport thrown in.
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ah indeed, I'm sure we'll make it even though I'm heading back to London for a while next week, waiting for certain companies to pull their finger out and make a decision.
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chinapumpman
I am asian and of course growing up in U.K know exactly what western men are like when it comes to the dating game and HK brings out the worst in them especially those with 'yellow fever'
In HK its more game playing etc here and of course people seem to be a lot more shallow thats what myself and Calendargirl have noticed etc. I'm not enduring a stay far from it, I'm here to further my career and make money thats all. Finding the love of my life is not high on my list of priorities right now, If it happens great but its not the be all and end all of life and I don't see it as some sort of holy grail.
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WRT what Kopfan and Calendargirl are saying about men becoming shallow here, I'd like to point out that it goes both ways. I mean seriously... we all know that to date here you have to flash $$$. Does that mean the MEN are shallow? Of course not. The men wearing their Zegna suits on Saturday night when they didn't even have to work on Saturday are simply responding to the fact that 99.9% of the women in Hong Kong EXPECT an expat man to have money, and won't even think about dating one that doesn't, no matter how wonderful are his other qualities (unless he looks like a CK underwear model).
The middle class gweilo in HK has been relegated to underclass status. We can either pick up easy girls in Wanchai or pretend to have more than we do. There's no other option. I cannot head to LKF wearing my everyday attire (untucked shirt over black jeans, for instance), my heart on my sleeve, good intentions and confident smile, and expect to get anywhere with either Western or local girls here. If you don't play the game, you lose. That's why so many people end up playing the game.
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cheesy
not just judging lkf at all, move it to soho, IFC and so on and so on. And its all the same, The whole playing the game thing sucks and how can people actually expect to meet somebody decent when 90% of the people out there are always scrutinising what you wear, what phone you have, what watch you wear and so on and so on.
Judge me for whats inside not what I'm wearing, And yes first impressions count etc but I wouldn't say I dress like a slob either.
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Yes there are bars at IFC etc, and yes of course I've been to other places obviously, Being Chinese and stayed in HK for long periods over the years, Been drinking in Sai Kung and other places in the new territories and it was full of middle aged expat women so that wasn't anything to write home about either.
I do have social gatherings etc albeit with members of another board in HK where its a lot more social etc and thats where I have met the decent people, Yes I have met some nice decent people here too but only a small few.
daddy long legs, its the shallow locals that are the problem in the first place, and even then most locals wouldn't actually dream of drinking in a pub in mongkok in the first place.
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I so happened to be in Mongkok yesterday thank you very much and heading there later today.
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The answer is easy. As my dear old mum told me. "Learn to dance and you will never be lonely". Women will kill for a good dance partner and looks become fairly immaterial if you can move your butt to a Cha cha, tango or Salsa. Just ask any woman. It should be compulsory at school. Since I learnt to dance I've never had a lonely day except through choice and the odd broken heart.
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hmmmm 120 posts later and we have a result! well done jc aka cilla :p
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Cilla Black who used to present blind date in U.K.
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lambada has an excellent point! at the moment we here in manila are greatly missing our dear friends, an australian couple who were recently transferred to another country. the husband was our communal "dance slut" - trust me, this was a most affectionate and complimentary term! he took lessons whilst courting his wife (like lambada, also on the advice of his dear old mum), and many years later we gal pals were the happy beneficiaries of his presence at various balls and dance parties.
so gentlemen, aside from growing a pair...learn to dance too! you'll go far.
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you're right, IH. but it's still helpful to point out that dancing is an activity many women enjoy...doesn't have to be ballroom dancing either
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and another 'expatbrat' right here..........
What about playing rugby or hockey? Joining teams over here? One way to meet them..........
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Cheesy, if you know what happens outside Devils Advocate, then you've been hanging out in the dreaded triangle :)
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Now they're doing Salsa at Joes! I forgot the original post didn't like Salsa. It's not my favourite either. Shame no one teaches Bossa Nova, Lambada and Gafiera etc. Rock n' roll was pretty cool too. All the old ozzie rockers and partners. Too young to die, too old to rock'n'roll. Nothing quite so cool as spinning two beautiful girls on the dance floor. Those were the days my friends....
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JC thats my fault because I bought up the subject of crackberries and how I would never date a woman that owns one.
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