Posted by
dazed
18 yrs ago
Pathetic question, I know...
Met a nice mature man, who may or may not be interested in me, who may or may not have a girlfriend. So I'd like to see him, talk to him, find out more about him. We've been in touch by e-mail, but about serious subjects. Any tips, anyone? Thanks...
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If you are in touch with this guy , just ask him out say that why dont we meet at Lunch or dinner ,say you like this place and fix up like that . guys really do not mind that way and if he has reservations he would come up with .
Hihiker -I do not think sleeping with the guy is a good idea in the 1st place .
Try ur luck and let us know
Dan
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If you've been communicating via emails, that's easy, just ask casually (in an email): hey, wanna catch up for a drink some time this week?
I know you'll then post here again asking what to say and what to wear.. etc.
But hey, take the first step first, then sort out the rest later.
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dazed
18 yrs ago
Thanks everyone for the advice.
More info? I saw him every day for a week during a sort of intensive orientation course. He was very complimentary and attentive but I didn't really encourage him then or take him seriously (was too serious about the training; regret it now!) Since then we've e-mailed about 3rd-party stuff but he hasn't called or suggested meeting. I know he's not married but dunno if there's a g/f.
Tidings 2: care to share your experience of asking 3 guys out that turned into relationships?
hkhiker: I'd really like to get to know him better first rather than manoeuvring him into bed, but I'll keep in mind the 20 deg tilt if it ever comes to that! ;)
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This is going to sound old-fashion but here it goes: Never ask the guy out! Let HIM make the first move. And, if he doesn't then he's just not that into you. Don't wait, don't try to "figure" him out, and don't plan your "move" on him. Those tactics may land you the guy only for a good short time, if that's what you want,then by all means do that. But for those "death til us part", loving and blissful relationships that DO exist in our world...it's always the guy who has made the first move. Enjoy your conversations with him via e-mails, but always keep your options open, and don't dwell on the dude at all. Fill your days up with your own interests and hobbies. Let him wait for you! : ) Good Luck!
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dazed > just ask him out for drink or dinner, don't wait for him to make the first move, otherwise, you will regret.
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Has happened to me a number of times; I blame it on the Internet! Seriously - you get into some very good Platonic love affairs here and then, suddenly, boom! Your heart wants its share too...
I allowed a 24-year old woman who had initated dating with me to visit me; I clarified that our relationship was "pure and simple", and she okayed it... But when she was in my apartment and the spark didn't fly she got into a huff and left me suddenly.
What was the problem?
Language, I guess. As a woman she may have thought that even what was denied could possibly happen with my full participation; I remained steadfast not because she was not attractive to me - she was in rfact very sexy.
But sexy isn't charming, and somehow I missed the warmth of a human touch. She didn't go beyond the words uttered by herself either and thought I would take the lead...
A tricky, contradictory mess.
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