i am in a very difficult position. i have been with my girlfriend for 2 years now and we just started haveing these big big fights. i love her but i found out she is cheating on me and normally before her i would just leave the person but i really dont wanna throw away 2 years of hard work and love. i meanshe was there through some really tough times for me and i really wish i knew what to do cuz i am really torn up inside last 3 or 4 night i have cried myself to sleep and im sorry but i am not a crying kinda guy. i am really going nuts over this. what should i do can anyone give me some advice
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First, you need time to recover from the shock and work through the pain, so make sure you give yourself enough time alone. Don't see her during this time. This will allow you to think rationally about what you want for yourself and what you can or cannot accept. Secondly, the fact that she was unfaithfull doesn't mean that she doesn't love you, but it's such a unhealthy precedent. Thirdly remember that it is very hard to recover trust in a relationship once it has been broken ( although this does not mean that it's not impossible). Whatever decision you make, make sure that it is one that honours yourself and don't let this situation lower you self esteem - people who cheat do it for selfish reasons that have nothing to do with the people they have cheated.
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What exactly are these fights were about? Does it have anything to do with her being unfaithful?
Call me old fashion, but chances are, if they cheated once they will certainly do it again.
And tell me, how much can you tolerate knowing that she is out with someone else. Yes it hurts, but its times like this that you should be thankful for knowing it sooner and move on.
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well i tell you what the fights are about her cheating but i cant help but have this extreme needy feeling. i feel i should leave but so many things that involve her also involve me which will scease to be if we break up. this is my 3rd or 4th real rlationship i have had and i tell you it just keeps getting harder and harder to let go and move on. this time i dont think i even want to find another one cuz im tired of this bullsh*t. dude it really sucks getting walked on like this all the time.
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I feel for you casey. I have been there too and it's really hard to let go even though the person you need comforting from is the very same who caused your this incredible pain. Unfortunately, there is only one way to deal with this; you need to let her go and move on.
If you stay you can gradually get through it but in the end something dies inside you. The fights subside and you stop seeing the images that torture you, but love will be dead. The result will be the same if you stay with her or if let her go, but if you let her go now you will heal faster.
The most important thing for you now is to take care of yourself. Exercise; it releases "happy drugs" in your brain and makes you feel good about yourself. Learn something new; a class or course of sorts is a good place to meet new people and it gets your mind focused on something else for a while. Join a hiking group or a sports team or other similar physical activity that involves other people. Stay away from downers like alcohol or drugs (I'm not saying you should become a monk or anything, but alcohol is a natural depressant and it will only make things worse). Basically, do what you know is good for you!
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i am leaving her today and i feel really good but i can stop having these little tear fits its not cryi9ng just a few tears and then butterflies. you know i know i need to leave her but i have this bad feeling like its going to take me another two years to find a girl that i feel so good about. work and play is going to be so dull and boring without her you know. so many memories are with her and it kills me to have to just walk away from that.
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What a coincidence, I also broke up with my boyfriend because I found him cheating. The first time I felt my heart was so pain, the real pain. Now I am recovering. After all, life needs to move on. We also had been together for two years, and there are many good memories. But I know when the broken pieces of mirror back together, it will not be perfect any more. sometimes we just need principals, and have some faith to believe in.
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To: casey laymon & weishenme,
Can understand how both of you feel... felt exactly the same when he chose to break up... Felt really devastated initially and thought the world came down on me but managed to pull through... Thank goodness... he is certainly not worth the time and effort...
Give yourselves some time and believe you can walk through this difficult period... You can...
All the best... You will meet nicer people...
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ok guys well i really really decided i am going to leave her, but really why is it so hard i mean i have gone through things like the military, and moving out on my own, and college, and so many things that were really hard but this is like the first thing i need to do that i honestly feel like i am going to break down if i do it. i mean really even if i keep my friends close and do new things i cant do all of that 24/7 to keep my mind off of her. i mean i just love her so damn much and its driving me insane to even think about not having her in my life. last night we had this really big fight though i mean big our biggest fight ever. it was so bad i ended up sleeping in a hotel last night drunk as hell and alone. really ok i took you guys advice but its really killing me why?
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Please do take GOOD CARE of yourself, Cassey, and STOP DRINKING. Try doing some exercises, or form of sports or go for a short break - travel. It's hard but you must move on. There are still many of nice and sincere caring people out there. You're still young and I'm sure there are still many good and worthy things in the world that need your talent and professional skills - channel your energy towards that. Start SMILING again, my dear friend.
Cheers :-)
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im a guy not a girl just so yall know
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the same thing happen to me 2 days ago i found out my girl have been cheating on me for the past 4 month, and we have been together for 3yrs now, so just because of that i choose to give her a second chance but i still keep picturing her having sex with the other guy. please i really dont know what to do...
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maybe in the past 2 years she was really the one supported you and comfort you. But do you ever think time can change a person.. two years hard working and living could bring changes to your life, i mean you and her. Why not accept the truth that one of you changed and she is not the one you loved before. To me, cheating is definately unacceptable in a relationship. Good luck to you, buddy!
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