Dilemma,
Does an eye for an eye work?
when my GF and I arrived in HK we didn't really know anyone, eventually we met another couple and became really good friends... the four of us were known as the awesome foursome as we hung out all the time. In the last year we have all become really close.
I have found out that my girlfriend is cheating on me with the other guy!
I got together with my fellow Cheatee and we were thinking about having an affair as revenge! They cheated on us so should we cheat on them! Then they will know how it feels and we can all go back to normal.
We love our partners but we want to hurt them so they know what they have done to us!
Has anyone had an affair to save relationship when there partner has cheated? did it work?
Please support our advertisers:
i haven't had a revenge-affair, but in your "awesome foursome" case, there is a definite symmetry to what you and fellow cheatee propose to do.
the damage is done - they cheated, you're hurt and things can never be the same again, much less normal.
ONLY because of your unique circumstances (and assuming you're not pulling our collective legs), i say go for it, because things can't get much worse for the four of you. who knows how things will turn out. let us know, won't you? ;-) good luck.
Please support our advertisers:
Make sure you cheat back not because you want to take your revenge, but because you want to feel the guilt afterwards.
If there's guilt after you've slept with another girl, then I think you've done enough hurt to realize you truly love her.
Please support our advertisers:
I doubt if it will achieve you the goals you had in mind..
Do you honestly believe that you can go back to your original partners after all the damage the cheating has done? And continue to be friends afterwards?
Please support our advertisers:
By doing that, you'd just make more damages and complicate things further.
If you're sure that you'd only feel good but not miserable, go ahead.
Otherwise, focus on the root of the problems and fix it instead.
Please support our advertisers:
what goes around comes around..if you do things out of revenge, you will end up hurting your self more..it is a vicious cycle..do not subject yourself to more guilt attacks..
Please support our advertisers:
Karl
18 yrs ago
"Does an eye for an eye work?"
No. If there is any deep feeling involved between the two cheaters, both former relationships are in trouble. If not, and you hit back with the same sort of behavior that you resent, it will be VERY difficult to ever get back to a feeling of mutual trust and confidence.
BUT .... if you were an awesome foursome before, why not try for a menage a quatre. It can work, if it is clear that there is a love relationship between the two primary couples, and the sex on the side is just for fun. Whether you go for a 4some or "separate bedrooms" for the fun, its all out in the open and everyone has a good time.
Monogamous sex is way over-rated, IMHO.
Please support our advertisers:
I'm a firm believer that two wrongs don't make a right. Say you go ahead and "cheat back" and the cheaters find out about it after. Then what? Even if they do react to it the way you want them to doesn't change the fact that you've already been cheated on - the damage has been done. You claim that you wanna take this revenge so the cheaters will get a taste of their own medicine, but I'm getting the impression that this is more about your bitterness getting the best of you and making you a spiteful person, which is probably not your usual self.
Why drag yourself down to their level if what they did was so horrible? What really gets accomplished after all the cheating is over? Because I can guarantee you that your relationship with your girlfriend will never been the same no matter what you decide to do from this point on, so maybe the least you could do is to be the bigger person in this situation and let go.
Good luck and hopefully everything will work out for you in the end...
Please support our advertisers:
i still have doubts as to the veracity of this post. i agree with My Hong Kong - looks more like swinging than revenge - and idingstay2 (Tidings 2) - seems OP and cheatee are looking for an excuse....
if OP and cheatee profess to love their partners so much, why not work on real solutions, i.e. working on their relationships, instead of taking the cheating as revenge route? that's why i doubt the true intention of the post.
Please support our advertisers:
If a dog bites you you dont bite the dog ..
Please support our advertisers:
i say do it !!! Then leave them all and go on your own. Your pain wont go away, so you might as well have a bit of fun and make yoruself feel better at the same time. it wont last with your GF and the other guy, but if and when you leave, everyone , expect you will feel really bad .
good luck mate
Please support our advertisers:
I dont think the affair will save the relationship. Perhaps it would make you both feel better about yourselves at this point.
This reminds me of the movie In the Mood for Love.
Please support our advertisers:
I know it's petty and vindictive, but I also think it would be fun!
I've spoken to my GF about her cheating, she said there had always been something between her and the other cheater, and she just acted on impulse because of her 'urges'.
Well I have urges too!
My fellow cheatee and I agree that we're attracted to each other, so if they can act on impulse and ruin our relationships, then we can be petty and make it alright!
Please support our advertisers:
You must be logged in to be able to reply.
Login now
Copy Link
Facebook
Gmail
Mail