Posted by
machree
18 yrs ago
I have this boyfriend for one and half year. Nice guy. But lately I cannot stop questioning myself. Shall I leave him or remain the same.
I like him and maybe love him. He treats me nice as well….But sometimes I do feel he still care himself more. Always “I want to have my space; I am too tired; I want to watch this movie; I want to stay at home tonight” And we seldom go out for a walk or shopping or movie or whatever.
I am an independent girl but sometime still feel nice to be with someone you like. Even we’ve been GF and BF for one and half year, I still can feel the distance and don’t have too much common between us two. To be clear, I cannot see the future.
As Chinese, I really hope to have a nice romance and a happy ending…This is not a fling…maybe I wish too much...
Dear guys, any suggestions are extremely welcome.
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Machree, I think you need to give more details, like how often do you see him in a week? Do you spend the weekends together?
My boyfriend used to say the same things (until I beat him into submission) but that's just men. If you've been together a year and a half, why don't you move in togehter? Then he can do his thing and you can do your own thing, but you'll still be togehter.
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Pupalicious, we normally spend one night in the week days, 1 or 2 days in the weekend...(feel sad to say this) If I want to be more sticky, he will I need see my friend blah blah blan...sometimes he wants to bring me, sometimes he will refuse since that a BOY's night...
I don't know why we don't move together. He said he's worried about his privacy & space problem...(he's foreigner) and I don't know what to do...
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Miss P I think you're being far too negative. I did move in with my boyfriend after 1 yr of our relationship, but we were lving with his parents. Nightmare for me cos I'm western, but apparently that's normal for Chinese couples. But he said he wasn't ready to move out with me on our own. Now my patience has paid off and we've moved out and have a lovely flat together.
How old is he, machree? Maybe he's just a bit immature. Guys always want to see their friends or hang out with other people. Just show him what a fantastic time that he can have with you. At least he spends the weekend with you, that's a good sign!
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I am getting lost in this relationship...maybe Miss P's right...he's just not that into me...maybe he's immature.(he's late twenties)I still want to work on this relationship but just don't know where to start and how. I do feel lonely and tired. Thanks Pupalicious for the cheering up...
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test
18 yrs ago
i had similar experience and at the end he and i separated. i agreed with Miss P, better to retreat before u get hurt.
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machree, is the underlying problem your desire to marry but this guy hasn't showed any such intention? Might be a clash of culture values here, him being a western fellow and you an Asian with, let me guess, thoughts of getting-married-living-happily-even-after? Asian women tend to be more conversative in relationships.
If I guess right, simple solution: discuss your desires with him and ask him what he hopes for for the two of us in teh future.
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Another thing, machree, don't cling. Men, especially foreign men, like their women headstrong and independent. If you are the clingy sort, go find a nice Asian man. Asian men as a majority like to feel they are taking care of their women and they don;t mind if you call them every day to talk about nothing. They are also generally more ready to commit.
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I guess you guys are right about me "should be more independant and realistic" I am not that sticky and I have a life, but once I get some free time, he has the priority...I will try to fix the thing and wish the best...
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