Has Anyone Stopped a Wedding Before?

Who says they're incompatible? If they were incompatible, it's only their business, and not yours. She's probably been with him for a long time if they're getting married, and if their inncompatibility can survive their relationship I'm sure it'll survive their marriage.

I think there are ways to help her see the light without telling her. For one, if she asks (meaning, only if your comments are welcome), then you can tell her what you see. You can't just state your conclusion, which is that they are incompatible. You have to show the way with statements of fact (not opinion) such as: "Yes, I did notice that he wants a red house and you've always said you wanted a green one. That's something I used to think was important to you?" She can think about it and decide if that issue is important or not. Or, you could comment, "wow, that sure was a heated argument that lasted forty five minutes, is it not stressful to be in a relationship like that?" She can then think about it and decide if it was stressful or not. Second, you can encourage her to have a very long engagement. Time is a key factor in letting things get sorted out by themselves. If you can get her to wait two years, that is enough time for all the bad traits of potential spouse to surface and also for the rose colored glasses to fade just a bit, allowing the glimpse of reality to steal in. After two years have passed, she'll have a lot better idea what she's really getting into. If you point blank tell your friend anything more than this, I think you would be placing your friend in the position of feeling she has to choose between you and her beloved, and you are going to lose the friend. And who knows, you may be wrong. I've been wrong before about people I thought were incompatible! However, if you feel extremely strongly that she is making a terrible, terrible mistake, then you may choose to tell her even knowing that it will cost you the friendship?

Well, i wouldn't do that..

I do listen what others opinions are and try to make my own decision but its not working... u r loosing yourself and get confused.. doesnt matter how it seems from side things might be different in reality and only the person that is in that relationship can know for sure if he or she can handle it and is happy about it..

Ive been trough a really bad break up years ago and when it ended then my friends told me that they could see that i wasnt happy and tried to give me an advice but that subject was closed for them to discus, now im not sure how did i managed to do that, if i did listened to them i wouldnt feel the same way about it now, i would always have doubts what if... But i got really badly hurt later, was soooo painful but it was my decision and there was no one to be blamed... people are different... so i dont know! Oh, no one thing i did listen was when my sis told me to take time and i did thank God... she wasnt able to make me see things the way she did and that was the best thing she could do i guess..

i ended my last relationship coz i wasnt sure and listened to others opinion, not even advice but things like what if.. got confused and it ended, but never got so hurt even after my years of relationship had ended... got many chances to make it work and each time i blew it off coz always had my friends words in my head... never looked bk before when i made decisions myself but this time....


friend of mine married a guy, who we all thought wasnt right person for her, she never listened to anyone at all, parents, friends, sister but its working very well, she knew better who he was and how he was and she was happy and is still happy after so many years now....

What are the reasons you think they are 'incompatable' and you should stop the wedding?


If its the fact that they have different coloured hair or that he likes tennis and she doesn't then well..


If either party was abusive.. then..

I like Aulelei's account.


As 28 years later they are still together.

Live your own life as you see fit and let others do the same.Life is about making your own mistakes and learning from them and going through those experiences and trials which serve to make you stronger and a better person blah,blah,blah.

Maybe they are not incompatible and interfering will only make them distance you as friend.From my own experience,my brother married a girl almost half his age and my father refused to speak to him and threatened to disown him to boot.Ten years later they are still together,my father still can't accept it and they are not on speaking terms,guess time proves if the decision made was the right one.

Some people say opposite atracts. Who knows?


You can give your opinion, but ultimately it's her decision.


Personally I wouldn't tell her simply because she must have thought about it carefully before agreeing to marry him. Plus you don't want any bad feelings between you and her fiance. Otherwise it may make it more difficult for your friend and you to remain as close friends.


When it comes to love, I think it's true that we all have to make our own choices - whether they are mistakes or true happiness.

Did anyone watch Grey's Anatomy where Izzie tells George that she thinks he's made a huge mistake marrying Callie, but she believes their friendship will be ok, because bestfriends are supposed to tell each other when they make mistakes?


I thought it was soooo sweet... but it can backfire if you're not careful.


My mother always tells me that my dad and stepfather think I've made a mistake marrying my husband (although they've never said this to me themselves, so she could be making it up). Personally I get very offended and defensive each time, because we're married and it's not constructive for her to be bad-mouthing my husband. I am more than open for suggestions and helpful ideas, but criticism without solution really upsets me. So I often (very unhelpfully) retort - "what do you expect me to do? Divorce him simply because you say so?".


Blood Diamond - I think you're very thoughtful to be thinking about your friend's happiness and I would be very grateful for a friend who is not afraid to tell me when I'm making a mistake. But do be careful how you phrase things when you talk to her.


Good luck and I hope she doesn't get hurt.

Hey did she ask you for a advice? if yes, then tell how exactly how you feel. it may hurt her but at least you have done your bit as being her friend. However I am interested to know how you can tell that they're not compatible. what make yout think the incompatible relationship won't last? Is marriage about compromise and tolerance?

how come its ok for pennyless girls to marry guys with money, and be happy, but not the otherway around Blood Diamond?


Where is my little rich girl?!