Posted by
tigerbay
18 yrs ago
Maybe they have tried to make it work and have now decided it is time to move on.
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Xandra, guess its time you take the initiative. If you really wanna know whats going on, why not find out yourself.
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HG
18 yrs ago
How about this... Send you a SMS, telling you he misses you but doesn't date you out the 2nd time and once a week send you a text... Do you suppose he's interested or waiting for the fairer gender to make the next move???
Funny, this guy... Getting tired of guessing what's on his mind... or should just ask him straight?
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HG
18 yrs ago
Xandra... Nope, this guy I'm talking about is not French... Know how you feel... If he is so inconsistent, perhaps "kick" him aside...
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It's not just one guy it's 'guys'.You are right not to be too clingy or desperate but as JC said if you're always waiting for that message or call instead of being the one to take the initiative sometimes that comes across as game playing.
If you really had fun say so and there's nothing wrong with flirty texts or e-mails from both sides.If you like being chased you have to throw some crumbs out for guys to maintain their interest more than just a 'Hi'or 'I miss you' that's just too generic whether or not you are 'not in love with him'.Keep them as friends around you even if nothing special develops.
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He've lost the intrests in you.Or the next target is found.If he is very interested into you,he would make sure you know and wanna make himself always available for you.
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My friend told me the reason why he didn't call some girls was cos they loved themselves so much, and just took him for granted. He said they were so arrogant and just loved themselves so much that he couldn't be bothered to keep calling them. Guys don't want high maintence girls.
I think that if it's a consistant problem, then it's not the fault of the men that they don't call, it's the fault of the girl for doing something that makes them not want to call. Maybe Xandra has personality problems that guys really cant stand longer than a few weeks, or maybe she constantly choses men who are a bit crap.
And I only said 'maybe' so don't bash me for being judgemental.
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Meems
18 yrs ago
The guy found a new target.
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You probably came across as nonchalant or not that into him. Not everyone is sadomasochistic and like chasing women who are only half interested.
Perhaps its not too late to text him and say Hi how are you doing?-nothing wrong with that and doesnt sound desperate at all.
Otherwise, if you've missed the boat, as Meems said he probably found someone more promising.
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Maybe he just wanted someone cute to hang off his arm and impress his mates. Now he's found another. Eligible and fun men are a small pool here. Men are very fussy in HK (not nec tasteful or smart:-). I dumped a girl cos she sang out of tune. Immediately - even shocked myself. I don't think I would have done that elsewhere. I won't consider a girl that can't dance etc. Thank god girls aren't so fussy:-)
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Well, just a harmless non desperate sounding text like "How are you doing?" would be good to start it off.If you guys really had a connection, he's be silly not to pick up where you left off. If he doesnt take the bait, I'd say there's plenty of fish in the sea...
If he is foreign, as you say, and living in Singapore I'd say he's beating off the girls with a stick already.
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lambada-I hope you are joking- otherwise I'd just assume that you're not part of the pool of 'eligible and fun men' you were talking about.
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Xandra, don't know if this is the best advice but just go for it... You only live life once... Go grab the thing / one you like... All the best...
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Balzac, was I joking? I'm not sure but I hope so for my sake. Could you live with someone who sang out of tune and couldn't dance? It's like body odour... life's too short. I am definately not in the pool. I'm the invisible, happy blob, bouncing along in the ocean of mediocrity and poverty.
The point I was making, Xandra, is that if he is that kind of guy he is probably not worth the effort and will be high maintenance. In short, spoilt or spoilt for choice. For goodness sake don't get depressed by anything I write. Heaven forbid - what do I know?
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I did not read this whole thread but I suspect a lot of men run into financial problems in Asia becaause it's very expensive here to live as a westerner............men and women both have a hard time admitting they are in financial distress so they just fade away and don't tell anyone.
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yeah. I get that every 2 weeks:-)
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Hahaha Car Lover how true,I know plenty of people who work just to keep up the party lifestyle and appearances.
Xandra I would completely change my tactics with this guy, do a complete turnaround and start being more aggressive in your approach.I don't mean bombarding him with messages or e-mails but be more constant with contact.If you sent him an sms and he didn't reply call him up and ask him what he's been up to,does he want to meet up?
Definitely a change of tactics is called for.
That should pique his interest and put you back in the game.A man chases a woman until she catches him.
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'viva la france? I don't think so. Viva La Frogs! '
This does not come across as humorous but only gives away your bitterness. Get over it.
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Yeah must be the heat.Xandra just call the guy,he may have not replied for a number of reasons...lost his mobile,out of town,swamped with work,kidnapped,arrested,hit by a bus, who knows? You're only guessing he's met someone else,maybe he's giving you a taste of your own medicine so you've got nothing to lose by calling him.
All this message crap,when will adults stop acting like teenagers? "Hum I sent him a message and he didn't reply so I'm pissed off it was HIS turn not mine to text"
Come on just pick up the phone make it a quick "Hi what are you up to today?" Very easy and you'll find out definitely what's up with him nothing to lose.
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What kind of fish CarLover? A sea serpent hahaha well Xandra did you call the guy or still pussyfooting around?
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Hey good for you! Hope it all goes well and this time try to be a little more direct and forthcoming it will work if he's interested but don't wait around for him to send you messages try being the first one to text.
Can also try telling him you'll be somewhere with friends Sat nite see if he turns up after whatever he has on.
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So it was a good date!:-)
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Reading all this makes me glad I'm not the only one frustrated by all this sms'ing/second guessing, errggh!! My policy now X-andra when I'm not sure what's going on is to simply pick up the phone and TALK to the guy, a few minutes conversation can tell you more (voice intonation etc) than a hundred sms's which are by their nature terse and brief...it's just as hard for men out there, and you're much more likely to keep men as friends if you treat them as you would like to be treated.
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Oh I know, I'm not always that brave honey, we all have that fear of looking 'desparate and dateless' and I generally don't bother if it has been more than a week, however if like you, I thought there was some mutual attraction and that it had some potential to develop it I wouldn't hesitate to pick up that phone...some of my best relationships have started on that basis :)
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