Posted by
freedom
17 yrs ago
can u accept that?they might chat online,have some calls,just as my bf says,just normal friends,that's all....
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How did you know that, and based on what context?
Are they bonded because of they are active members in their group of friends.. If it is the case, sometimes it is difficult to clear cut the connection.
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I know it before we begin our relationship,and I told him definately,I dunt want to be his GF until he clears her out of his life. cuz I know, after they broke up,even the gal had a bf,she called him oftenly late at night...now three weeks later,I found they still got in touch.my bf now says it's only normal friends things,such like help each other...
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I feel sad,I feel he is NOT so true to me,what's worse,it's hard for me to trust him again.now I haven't been seeing him for couple of days..thinking of letting him go..
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Normal friends don't call late at night often! Have you told him you're uncomfortable with their relationship? If you're his gf, he should be more considerate of your feeling. Why not call up your ex late at night, get together with your ex for dinner, be over friendly with him, see how your bf feels. Maybe he will get the clue.
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cujo
17 yrs ago
Remaining friends with exes is usually a sign of maturity. Your posts suggest that this guy has been your bf for only three weeks, yet you're already telling him who he can associate with. Sounds selfish and immature to me. You're thinking of letting him go? My advice is don't bother because I'll bet he'll be leaving you soon enough. I know I would.
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I'm all for remaining friends with exes.
However, in the ealy stage of a new relationship, midnight phone calls with exes will certainly set off my insecurity button.
Freedom, I totally understand your anxiety and doubt. I've been there, done that. It is not unheard of that some guys and gals who claim to be friend with ex do sleep with their ex for whatever reason.
Have you communicated to your bf that his relationship with ex made you feel insecure? If your bf is really into you, he should tone down (not cur off) his relationship with his ex, he should shower you with his full attention, calling you at midnight instead of his ex!!
Only my two cents.
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selda
17 yrs ago
watch out...are you sure the ex is really an ex? Has he introduced you to her?
I once dated a guy who claimed that he and his gf had split up months prior to our first meeting. As a matter of fact they had never split up...she was simply living in another country, and yes, calling late at night due to the time difference. And because they were speaking a language i didn't understand, he could make up any story he wanted....I don't have a problem with exes, as long as they are introduced to me. Actually one of my female friends is my ex's gf, and we often hang out together when i go back to my country. Of course i would never call him in the middle of the night, and when i call, he then passes the phone to her and i chat with her too...Your guy sounds a bit dodgy.
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thank you for all ur replies. I think the thing is that his attitude made me feel uncomfortable. if he remains the "friendship" only between him and her, I dunt think I can take a guy like that even though we have just begun our relationship.
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hey,you're joking,calm down,ur post shows to me we r different type of person.what does "mature" mean to you? it means different to different people,I think,so ,u grow up!
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'You're Joking' I hope you're joking.You seem to like sailing through this website being judgemental telling posters to 'grow up'and calling posters immature.See my "Flamers and Cyber Trolls"thread over in the speaker's corner!
Ignore him Freedom,nothing wrong with a bf keeping in touch with an ex girfriend as long as there are boundries to that contact and of course that she's really ex not current living somewhere else!
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