Posted by
beachbabe
17 yrs ago
I've been married for 7years now. I love my husband but not in love with him any more. We no longer have same interest in anything. like living under the same roof but lead seperate lives. We both work. I'm ok to go alone financially. I honestly feel no meaning this marriage. of course sex died.
we were really in love in the beginning because we are different. but now we don't have anything to share. But he's happy with what we have. I'm not. From outside we are so perfect couple. Now i have desire travel whole world but my hubby wants a kid.
We try to communicate and change a bit but now i feel that i had enough.... i realise that we are too different.
But i'm afraid that he will get hurt and my family get hurt...
Especially my hubby really loves me and emotioally hang on to me a lot. He's not that strong person.
Shall I just shut up my mouth and pretend everything is fine - maybe get a boyfriend for sex need..
or drop the bomb?
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Go travel (do something) alone for some time to figure out your real feeling. You may realize how much you love your hubby after divorce and regret.
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how long have you felt this way? How long have you been married?
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Go travelling might be good idea. Thx ji8977.
It's about 3-4 months that I started to think it's over. And it's 7 yrs of marriage. balzac, why?
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You want to travel but your husband wants a kid.Do you really think bringing a child into an unhappy marriage will save the marriage?No way.Band aid solutions like going to travel or getting pregnant are temporary.Find out what's at the root of the problem.
Marriage is hard work but it takes two.after seven years the passion may not be as strong but the love should be.Work on the positives and get back on track.If you are really that unhappy and nothing seems to work take a break,get a divorce don't bow to outside pressures on this if it's really gone to the dogs.
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beachbabe - let me ask you: is this the first time you feel so strong about breaking up and doing something for yourself? i somehow doubt it. have you had other relationships before or during this marriage in which you also encountered an itch to move on? don't worry, nobody has the right nor ability to impose moralistic reasons on you for staying together. for example, the 7 year itch. who cares. you are going through this. can you really not talk to him about your feelings? your need to let go? if not, pack the bags, but please give him clarity as to why you'll do this even if you're not sure.
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and i do believe that if he gives you the freedom to explore and travel by yourself, he loves you. but would you love him more for that? it's quite likely you'll change from the experience, so don't count on it
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Thanks for your advices, esp JC and flashback...
that really helps me to think in a different way...flashback hope you will find a good partner soon. I do mean it :)
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Just a quick addition to the wisdom and good advice to this thread.
The two things that i believe are really true one comes from a song and the other apparently the queen said.
"The greatest thing that one could learn, is to love someone and be loved in return"
"Love walks hand in hand with grief" Explanation: because no matter how long or how short a relationship is or what kind of relationship it is, lovers, friendship, siblings parent and child; one will eventually leave the other. But the positive side is to this rather depressing truth is that one can always carry the love of the missing loved one in their heart.
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Wise words Weelee but somewhat cynical.Almost like saying that the only sure things in life are death and taxes.Reality bites people on the bum I guess.
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