Posted by
45828s
17 yrs ago
How many times do you have sex with your partner? BF? Hudsband?
We've been together for 8 months. I have a very stressful job + long hours. Lately, we only "cuddle" and watch DVD, we only have sex once a week and mostly on weekend...
is that normal?
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i would say its not normal. Normality to me is every day, but then i guess it does depend on how much sex you ever had in the first place
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45828s...I think that's not very much for a young couple 30ish, but is about normal for a married couple who've been together for 20 yrs and who have lots of kids climbing all over them.
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once a week is perfectly 'normal'. lets not start a debate on normality , relationships work for different reasons , most people dont even get that 'once a week', let alone the dream figure of 1 or 2 a day. Relax and enjoy , if you want a mid week extra , just help yourself , im sure your partner can oblige with little effort.
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the global average for 2006 was about 106 times a year...that's roughly 3 1/2 times a week...do you think oral sex counts as a half? or sex with oral 1 1/2? ;)
the Japanese had sex 48 times a year, the Greeks 164 times...Indians spent 13.2 minutes, Nigerians 24 minutes!
so what's normal? we are all individuals, we can't generalize or stereotype (otherwise i would be on next plane to Greece...or maybe Nigeria :) if you and your partner are satisfied with once a week (it may be earth shattering and take a weeks recovery time!) then that's normal.
but if you aren't satisfied, you are amongst friends in Hong Kong, 32% aren't happy with their sex lives either...
if you live with your partner, can't you just wake up 13.2 minutes earlier?
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he's one of those rare one who doesn't like to be woken up by a blow job. His excuse - low blood level. whatever. and I am at my horniest in the morning.
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Peet
17 yrs ago
Just tell him that breakfast is your most important meal of the day........did I say that?
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well low-energy levels are also a problem in the morning...demand that protein shake :)
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guys like being woke up like that ... just not by their wife
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spoken by a man with no imagination...
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zane1
17 yrs ago
You get it as much as you want / need / desire. Talk to your BF about it. Honesty is the best policy. Too much is never (ever) enough.....
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we usually 4~5 times per week(2~3 times on w/e)
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cd
17 yrs ago
I had this conversation several weeks ago with some frinds, the average was 2, several were less than that. It depends on how many kids, how often the husband was away etc. But honestly there is no norm, some people are happy with every day, some are happy with once a month.if you're both happy with once a week then thats fine. Problems only arise if one partners not happy.
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I am very happy with the cuddle and idle shirts ironing time I spend with him, but i feel that I am no longer desired sexually by him. It's a mixed feeling when he cuddles me at night and says goodnight with a kiss on forehead...i feel like his pet than girlfriend!
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I was extremely busy in Feb, and he was whining about not having time together and not enough sex life! I asked him what's his preference, and he said at least three times and the more the merrier.
But now!?
By the way, we did have sex last night, but i feel like I am performing an obligation instead of having fun.
Maybe it's something physical.....guess it's tiime to talk to him.
****does the fact that he's a pothead has anything to do with his performance in bedroom?
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I jus reckon how serious my problem is then...
My bf and I used to hv sex once a day....after living togetgher, we only hv sex once/twice a month and tht drives me CRAZY! grrrr help
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listen , you have sex as often as you want. Its quite simple , all this talk of leaving him cos u dont have sex more than once a week is just misleading nonsense. Grow up and learn to get from your man what you want. Its not about sex , its about asking and acting to get what you want. Most people in this forumn are just lieing about the frequency , or are in a short term relationahip based entirely on sex that wont make it till christmas.
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Alcohol and marijihuana are depressants which affect sexual performance.If your guy is a "pot head" of course he can't get it up or even satisfy you,I think it is not only in the bedroom that's the problem but also in other areas of his life.
Seek some conselling for drug/alcohol dependency before (if it hasn't already) pot takes over his life and yours.
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there was no angst , and my "eating out" i will post to you as and if it happens. Also , never believe statistics , they are the tools of the Marketing Trade (look at Iraq statistics), be happy and vigilant with your sex life and make your own adjustments.
As you say "Its not everything".
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45828s...maybe you are not happy with someone who is not totally present mentally? a pothead would qualify. if he only wants you when he's smoking pot, that might also be a turnoff, or maybe you don't respect his choices or approach so much? does he spend too much money on pot? of course it would affect his approach. maybe in the morning he is too straight? also, if he is interested in having it 3x per week, maybe he could try to fit it in during the morning when it suits you too. how are the other areas of your relationship going?
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I found out why! I was using his computer last night and he forgot to logout his mail.
Apparently, he's having sex with another women. , who knows, maybe more than one!! Don't ask me how and why, their email exchange is very graphic.
I am so very pissed!!!
Now that I know I start to think about the late nights he had with his buddies (but coming home without smelling like beer & soccer)....
Can't stand his touch now.
Still haven't confront him, what should I do?
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"Normal" incorporates many variables, age, stress level, hormone level, to name a few. You posters having sex 6 time a week are in the minority and most likely still under 30 or close to it. Many folks in their 40's would be happy with 2 times per week.
Normal is what you and your partner agree on, not what "others" do
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to the OP, seeing that he strayed. keep your cool and organized like flashback said. your best move would be to catch hoim unaware. he probably wont even blink when you tell him your moving out.
dont waste energy by feeling hurt or betrayed. keep hurt and betrayal level to a minimum. he's soooo not worth it girl!
as for frequency, it all depends to the level of fatigue of one or both parties.
as for me and hubbi, its quiet varied,sometimes itll be twice a day on weekends or if he's on holiday or 3x if he's really busy.
if i feel horny i usually tell him by sending him a sexy pic during the day if he's at work.
but i guess its different for each relationship.
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alk
17 yrs ago
every other day... or when you feel it...
morning is a great time to have sex
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once a week of sex is better then non at all
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Normal? been with my bf for three Years! Never had sex... so yes yours is VERY EXTREMELY normal
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ravii
17 yrs ago
is that most of the people reply from Hk and wat is the ehthinicity, i find it very strange ......once a week........how u still keep on going....i mean either u r satisfying urself some place or ur wife for sure.....i am doing it atleast once a day missing only on some blue moons and still feel want more. and iam in a steady relation for 3 yrs now. pull up ur socks man.....
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selda
17 yrs ago
every day when i was married...yet the frequency didn't deter a man with a very high sex drive from straying. It all depends on your sex drive...once a day is ok with me...but he probably needed it twice a day ;-)
I can't stand sleeping in the same bed and not having sex, i'd rather sleep in another room if sex is not on his mind. Just too frustrating. Cuddles are not my thing.
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im getting the best sex ever,few times/day..but not from my hub, but from another man..dont judge me,but does this mean dump my hub??like if im not happy being married anymore?is that a valid reason to dump him?
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fruit
17 yrs ago
i just got out a relationship for over 11 months.. with no sex.
reason being she felt it was : unhealthy. and icky..
she also had an menstral problem. where she would miss her period sometimes up to 60 days.
she blamed me for that issue. and declared she was preguant until medical said it was stress.
now i am single and without sex anyways.
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to all men. incase you didnt know, women miss out on their periods for a lot of reasons. hormones,stress, and the obvious pregnancy.
to fruit: maybe that girl who blamed you for being pregnant believes in parthenogenesis. (im joking)
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Ok how much sex is too much?
I know that is a strange question for a man to ask. Been with my GF for a year both in early 30's and we would have sexy 2 or 3 times during week days and about 5 times a day over Sat and Sun so about 20 times a week on average. The problem is she wants more and I have no idea how to fit it in between work, meeting friends and dinners with family. Don't get me wrong its good but i feel I have aged 5 year in the last 12 months, but on a plus side I have lost a lot of weight!
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Read the whole thread above there is a lot of chat about how much is enough/too much.
The crux of the issue is if one person wants three times a day, and another wants three times a month, then you have aproblem. If both only want it once a year, there is no problem.
The other thing is that you will slow down as time goes by.
As for finding time between other commitments, quickies do the job and can also be fun. Not every session needs to be a marathon.
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I think the frequency is not the main issue, though once a week in a long term basis is a bit less than usual, twice would be the least I think. But what is important also is the QUALITY of sex, if both of you are taking the time, cuddle, kisses, and actually connecting with each other, then I think Once a week may actually be OK.... the bottom line is how both of you feel after, emotionally, other than just physical..?
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nom
16 yrs ago
i hav once in 2 weeks, once a week if im lucky, sometimes i want more but just dont know/shy to say it.
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no one should b shy from their partners, thats the whole point of serious relationships/marriages. u shud fulfill each other needs, be it sexual, emotional etc. try this, when i am tired ye, i tell my fiance to come on top instead of me doing all the work, that works for me when i am tired. try doing a little more and then in the middle, change positions, so that he has to do the work. but the thing is, i am very open with my fiance, try opening up to him. he should know about ur needs. stuff like this can lead to a very unhappy life (i am referring to my school days :))....so ye, talk to him and there is nothing to be shy about, he is yours after all. cheers and good luck
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It really depands how stressful your job is.
I have sex with my partner everyday when we go for holiday. But once back home i feel so stressed about my buz and i just want to have a chat and dinner and go to bed. I think both of us used to have sex ALOT (like a few times a night) when our job were less stressful and we had less responbilities. Now he's becoming a boss and i expended my offices to different places in the world..jeez..nope these days even he's got a cold Im totally not up for it.
Take some holiday with him- helps you to relax! ;)
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Be a celibate - Be Liberated from desires. Celebrate celibacy!!
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hubba
16 yrs ago
Chinese.. have the tendency to work too hard .. everyone has a tendency to overwork..
I am a workaholic.. but I love sex .. ALOT..
but I noticed that.. when I am in work mode.. I have absolutely no mood for sex..
so.. you have to take a raincheck on your work..
everywhere is a slowdown..
why do you need to work so hard?
take it easy.. no matter how hard you work..you will still not get any pay raise this year or the next few.. because it is pay increment freeze every where...
so just do just enough to cover your asses.. and then go home early and bong your brains out! work.. is really only a means to an end.. not an END! .. because of work.. then end up you not getting enough sex.. hey..something ain't right!
bonging is really the most important ;)
I mean seriously.. if you live simple without the big car, big house.. maybe you can take a lower income job.. but be happily sexed everynight? I dunno .. I am still trying to figure this out.. but yeah.. sex is very important.. and once a weeek is definately.. not normal.
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Pyan
16 yrs ago
too much sex can age the man quicker...why do you think us Chinese calls it "kup jing dai fat"...sex can be great if you can enjoy them in measurements...for me..I've gone through the "sex" evolution and have tried pretty much everything (except getting poked up from behind). If you are all still into the mono e'mono way of sex, no wonder you all get tired out or begin to stray...why not play together..to stay together...have an inner circle to play with..where when you feel tired...your partner can play too...as vice versa...that way...you create a new frontier in your sexual awakening...
but if you are married...make sure this is a lifestyle you can handle...some of my married friends are able to do this..but others..get into the JEALOUS mode...and that is from both the man and woman...
like I said..it's a LIFESTYLE...not everyone is prone to dig it...but there is a big community in Metro-life cities around the world that is totally into it...maybe it is the big city hustle that creates the stress factor to expand our moral boundries...
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I would say its not normal. Normality to me is every day sex.Sex is good for every people to good relaxation.
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