Hi everybody,
I’m new here, my problem is mainly that I can’t let go my Wife. We know each other over 10 year and lived together in HK for the past 4 year. We only had a small group of friends but then she meet new friends and for the first time she really explore the nightlife in HK. However, she left me, yes our marriage was a bit sleepy but we never talked about it and so it was very surprising for me that she split-up. It is now 10 month ago and I loved her dearly. I still thinking to often about her even I know she never will come back. Why it takes so long to get over her, it is really affecting my life. I meet some nice girls and even stay together with them for some weeks but on the end I could not give them what they was looking for and I let them go. I really like to start again, I go to the gym, I go out and meet a lot of people but on the end of the day she is in my head again and I hate my self that I cannot get over her. Somebody out there, who knows how to switch off the damned feelings?
Please support our advertisers:
There is no way to switch off the feelings. You have just got to be practical. Is there any chance you could win your wife's affections back? If there is, go for it, do it- whatever it takes.
If you know in your heart it is over, take each day at a time. Don't rush into something else. It seems you might be unhappy on your own? You must get your head straight before you get together with someone else. Look at the positive things in your life. Do things that make you happy and the right person will come along, you'll see. Until then, keep your chin up and look forward. You will get there eventually.
Please support our advertisers:
I guess there is no way that she is coming back, she found a new BF directly after splitting up and even she has still feelings, she will be to proud to do the step. It is not like I want her back (will give her a try if she ask) but I miss her. It is like a fight between head and heart, the head says no and heart says yes. I look at the positive thing and everything around me and in my life seams fine. Some friends look at me and say “you must be happy”, you have a good job, nice friends, nice home……… and I try to tell my self the same but it doesn’t work. I guess, it just takes time to open my self to someone new and get over it. But still, why it takes so long ;-) . Thanks for the answer lillipop79
Please support our advertisers:
sorry about your predicament...all i can say is that time will heal. i know it's such a cliche thing to say, but it's true.
good luck..
Please support our advertisers:
Hi PS...I agreed with mitchtan25 - time WILL heal. It is only natural for you to have your wife on your mind all the time. You've been together for a long time for christ sake, of course u'll be thinking about her, if you didn't, u won't be human. I recently moved back from Saigon to HK after splitting up with my b/friend who I've been out with 3+ years. I left Hong Kong to be with him due to him being located there to manager a chain of Restaurants. Now it has been 4 months since I'm back and to this date, I still think about him and wishing he'd change his mind about us. My head is saying one thing, eg., forget about him, my heart is telling me not to. I've recently read some of his emails to me while while we were apart before I moved to Saigon - it just seems like yesterday that I was looking forward to moving to Saigon to be with him ! So 'PS' time will heal - I'm slowly getting there - so will you ! Be strong, hang around with friends that will make you feel good (positive thinking ones), get out there and go for a run or gym. I had a very good friend who helped me thru. She would invite me to social drinks etc, etc. I had my confidents back via thru a crowd of new friends I made and they complimented me and it made me felt good.... so get out there and find those new friends... good luck my dear - we all know you can do it !
Please support our advertisers:
Many thanks guys, will give my self more time. At least I had put everything left of her inside my flat in a box and deleted all E-mails. Why cry after someone who turn his back on someone who cares about him.
Please support our advertisers:
A few years back I had a very, very good friend whose wife left him. He was devastated and in a real mess. He only got about an hours sleep a night for a year and his confidence was on the floor. It took him about a year to get over it. His wife was no stunner nor brimming with personality either and I thought he could do better. Anyway, he came to stay with us a few weeks ago with his new girlfriend who has just moved in with him. She is gorgeous, funny and she adores him. He is happier than I've ever seen him. He told me that he's glad his wife left him as it enable him to meet this new girl who we all think is just fabulous.
Please support our advertisers:
survivor - i applaude your strength, you are indeed a survivor. Having been through a breakup with my ex of 13 years and finally walking out, left me equally devasted. i couldn't stop thinking about him and was certain i never date again!! silly me...LOL
i keep reminding myself be strong and move on..there's a whole world ahead of myself. i kept myself busy with work, with gym and trying to improving myself.
it's been 3 years now..i do feel the pain once in a while..but trust me it's much lesser. so chins up..it's not the end of the world. it happens to the best of us.
Please support our advertisers:
Be strong dude and get urself as busy as possible and try to stop thinking abt her. I know its hard and definitely gd memories keep coming back but try, nothing is impossible. Go out n have fun with friends, talk to them and let go everything behind. I know what ur going thru, similar situation happened to me 2 yrs back and now am happy to be single again. Tell urself, u dont have to live like this while she is enjoying a gd life with another guy and u don't deserve to be treated like that too, its her lost. Don't worry be happy! Gd luck dude!
Please support our advertisers:
She will cherish memories together...and appreciate your love toward her. If not now, later she will.
You said you never talk about it...she should have discussed and tried to communicate with you if she was willing to save marriage but I guess she really gave up on that..and moved on without giving you notice.. That act seems cold but in her head there were so many thoughts and that could be her best way to get out.
Everyone has different standard/expectation for married life. She had a different one with you. And she found her own happiness somewhere else.
Just let her go. Admit that the happy moment you two shared won't come again. And you can meet someone and be happy again. Yes, it will take time.
Please support our advertisers:
Let’s close that book and start over, it seems most people make that experience once a life. For it was / is the first time. Just hope it will not take to long that the feelings going back to a normal level. As I can see most of you guys are once left by somebody you love even after a long time of relationship. I’m just wondering how the guys feel who actually split-up with us, it seams they going along very well but I ask my self how is that possible? I mean it was a long time for them too.
Please support our advertisers:
i honestly think you shouldn't care about how the other person is thinking or feeling. you wish them well and bid them farewell...adios!
The main thing here is that you should be focusing on your self recovery. sorry if i sound harsh...but this is the reality of the matter.
Please support our advertisers:
It's easy to say " let go the past". I'm telling my self this every single day.And I know I should not care anymore about what he does, but sometimes I can't stop thinking.
I had 5 good years and I find it's difficult to let it go. I know I have to and move on but is so hard.
I know exactly what you said by going out with other people but at the end of the day still having your wife in your head. If you will get over this, let me know how you did it.
I guess we just need time.
Please support our advertisers:
mao
17 yrs ago
You can acturally do something which is more active than 'letting time to do the healing', or 'getting yourself busy in order to forget her'. They are both dismal philosophy. When we're thrown into confusion by inner troubles, we instinctively turn outward. But don't run away from yourself. Look hard inward. It's a fountain of goodness where happiness is. Three conditions to feel the happiness: inner peace, wisdom and altruistic love. Cultivate happiness inside yourself, in your own life. So don't follow any formula, live each of your moment to the fullest. Whether she's back or away, you're happy regardless and wish her happness whatever.
Please support our advertisers:
You must be logged in to be able to reply.
Login now
Copy Link
Facebook
Gmail
Mail