Is texting cheating?



ORIGINAL POST
Posted by sarahkowloon 17 yrs ago
Hello all


I have been looking at my husbands phone now for quite some time as I have had the feeling that he was cheating on me. He always goes out and recently he has been very distant to me and even sometimes gets quite angry quickly.


He has been hiding his phone of late so this morning I rang it. It rang and revealed it's hiding place.


He had numerous messages on it from 2 girls. One was a girlfriend of his friends the other was from a number that has been coming up on his phone for a while now.


She basically said that she felt the same way as he did but she couldn't wait around for him. If he told her to she might. The other message said to the lines of "I break your heart?'' Does it sound like he has told this girl he loves her?


I know if i confronted him on this he would turn it around and I would end up a mess crying all day.


So how do I get him to admit? Could he just be messaging this girl or do you think it has gone past this?



The sad thing is I still love him.. Lately I have been so lonley. I can't believe the man I have believed in for so long is someone totally different. I don't know what went wrong.


Is anyone going through this at the moment?


Thanks



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COMMENTS
mayo 17 yrs ago
You are probably about to get a lot of responses to the effect of 'terrible you how dare you snoop' but I have snooped myself and think a lot of other women have too. It sounds to me like he might be feeling tempted or be on the verge. If I were you I wouldn't admit you saw the messages but instead in calm, unaccusatory manner would tell him feel like your relationship is slipping away and maybe you should both work on it before its too late.

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birdman 17 yrs ago
go buy a cheap sim card and send him an sms to the effects of honey i miss u. the other nite was really good to meet u. can we meet again for more fun!


btw, where does he go out to? are the messages from you know who ie do they have bad texting and grammar etc? that will give you a clue and knowledge that he is spiralling downwards with the wrong types.

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F100 17 yrs ago
A woman's gut feeling is 98% right most of the time.


You know your partner best.

If you don't think he is going to admit it - he probably won't.


Just make sure that you are "protected" if you even THINK he is sleeping with someone else.


Best of luck to you.

Stay strong.



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Sapphire 17 yrs ago
How would your husband react if he found out you were getting secret text messages from another guy? I doubt he would be happy!


Firstly, trust your instincts ... they are usually right.

Secondly, do not let him know that you have been snooping (unless all else fails) ... he will simply turn the tables on you.


If, as you say, you still love him, then fight for him. Why are you feeling lonely? Have you drifted appart? Is he going out in the evenings and leaving you alone to wonder what he's up to? Don't give him the opportunity ... tell him you're fed-up with staying at home alone and you want to have some fun too ... arrange to meet up with him after work for drinks/dinner ... and don't let him go out at the weekends without you, you're a married couple not singles and there's no reason why you should be spending so much time appart that he has the opportunity to stray.


Most importanty, talk to him. Tell him how you feel, appeal to his better nature. Let him know how much you love him, and let him know you are feeling lonely and that you feel you are drifting appart. Tell him you don't want to lose him. You are not admitting to seeing his texts, but he may perhaps feel that you are onto him, and if he still has feelings for you, he may realise the error of his ways and what a stupid idiot he is for jeopardising your marriage.


Good luck and I hope things turn out ok for you.

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sarahkowloon 17 yrs ago
I couldn't help myself. I asked him who the hell was that woman and why is she talking about love and waiting around for him. He basically said "I have told her and she wont take no for an answer!" It's quite funny isn't it..


I have tried to get him to do stuff with me or talk to me and he just wont. He goes out at least once a week and doesn't see any problem. It's all just fun and games with the boys.


I saw some friends I haven't seen in a long time today. THey are happiest lovliest couple you will ever come across. Seeing them together made me think if this man loved me he would give up Wan Chai, and he would come home with me, he could make dinner.


I don't really want that much.. I don't spend alot of money.... I clean and cook and have never said no to sex.. He has had it very good actually.


I just can't let it go... I don't understand what happened to this good man who loved me. I idolized him and only talked of how clever he was.


He is in Wan Chai today :( Just can't let it go.. When I asked him to come home with me he just said "his friends wanted him to stay" Usually when this happens a cry all day.. Today so far I have not cried.... I have not even rung him..


What a waste of time and effort... I just can't believe why he treats me this way...


Thank you to all the messaged me. You are all very kind :)

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xavieryang 17 yrs ago
texmessage or msn chatting always missleads. So maybe it is not as serious as you though.

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xavieryang 17 yrs ago
Time kills the romance and couples become indifferent with each other.this is common all over the world


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mumbo 17 yrs ago
You don't really know what happened.

Well,give him a benefit of doubt.

Problem here is he didn't get excited or fun with you because you'll always be there for him.

Don't focus about him. Make yourself pretty,go out and have some fun. He will be surprise what happen to you.

When you ignore him... he will pay more attention to you..


Good luck!






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mimisan 17 yrs ago
Maybe you can keep yourself busy by joining some classes. This will keep your mind occupied and meet some new ppl. It's very hard and painful but things might change with time, be more independent and try not to call/text him.

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smsm 17 yrs ago
next time he goes out, dont just stay at home, u too fix up with ur frd and go out...dont give him the feeling that u r waiting at the doorstep for him and have nothing better to do...its the feeling that u too can be independent and are capable of having fun without him - this msg needs to go out...its the case of supply and demand...he thinks u are available all the time so its not appealing enough....very sad but thats what it looks like...

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Sapphire 17 yrs ago
So, he was in Wanchai and you asked him to come home ... but his friends wanted him to stay (sorry, but I think that's a bit lame and a bit childish for a married man, he needs to grow up). I take it this was at the weekend ... why didn't you just tell him you didn't want to spend the night on your own and ask him which bar he was in so that you could join them? ... Nothing wrong with a wife joining her husband and his mates for a drink ... unless there's an ulterior motive of course. Suggest it next time and see what happens.

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sarahkowloon 17 yrs ago
I am sick of going to those bars where I am the only western woman in there. I don't get a very friendly welcome from anyone there.


I used to enjoy going out with his mates back home. They were all about the same age, married and not chasing as many women as they could. These guys he works with are all young, dumb and want to lay as many whores as they possibly can.


So when I have these girls who are desperate to get a white man (not caring that he is married) texting him that they love him I kind of wonder what is going on.


Sorry I am a bit bitter about it all.


The thing is I don't think he has slept with anyone. But who can be sure. Perfectly happy married people have been writing on this forum that they love their partners but it's all just a bit of fun.

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malibu07 17 yrs ago
dear sarahkowloon

i am sorry to hear that you are going through this with your husband. what you suspect is probably true. i have been on the other end where i was distracted from my own marriage and i didn't not realise how hurtful it could be to your partner until i read your messages. i don't know your situation but i just want to add that your husband is probably surrounded by a bunch of evil guys/colleagues. people get influenced by who they hang around with so remember that it may not really be your husband who wanted to do bad things in the beginning. you are fighting a tough battle here but this is your life - don't let it go down the drain. i believe your husband is just distracted as some girl is probably feeding his ego / or telling him how much feelings she has for him. men fall easily for these traps. i hope these things help you understand more about the difficulties your marriage is facing. be patient, be loving, its frustrating but this is your life that you spent a lot of time / effort building it together - defend your marriage to the best effort you can.

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sarahkowloon 17 yrs ago
I hope that you now understand your own situation a bit better and do something for your wife. Are you still together? Thanks for posting, although it made me sad because he does have these men around him pushing him to do whatever. But how hard is it to say no??? He says it me often enough..


I know I am bored and sick to death of being so paranoid... All my friends live on Hong Kong side or on Lan Tau. I have to travel miles just to go for a coffee..


I need to ignore him and stay distant but stupid me can't help trying to talk to him..


AHHHHHHHH I just wish I knew for sure



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thomasbmcghee 17 yrs ago
I have not seen much of a male's perspective in this thread. I do occasionally see a white white couple. I see about one of those for every 20 white guy - younger Chinese girl couples that I see. So how does an expat wife compete with whomever is out there marketing themselves?


Well the expat wife has some advantages. If you have a long history of a happy secure relationship he does not really want to lose it. He is just drifting in an ocean of possibilities trying to figure out how to have his cake and eat some others too! He is, as Nifty2 said, just unable to resist the new found flatery and attention from attractive younger females. Read some book like James Dobson's "Love must be tough". You can keep him and the marriage if you confront him with the clear choice of what all he will loose if he spends too much time away from you and carries on even sms relationships with other women. You just have to make sure you are actually ready to carry out whatever threats you make in your ultamatim to him.


To save the marriage he will probably have to change his job to get away from the "friends" both male and female that he has made. A job change is less embarassing for him now than saying to the gang he goes out with that "my wife won't let me go out anymore."


Anyway good luck. Move fast. Time is not on your side. Neither is the local stereotype role model where the successful man keeps a few young lady friends on the side.

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sarahkowloon 17 yrs ago
I believe that I have found the text messages which prove he has been cheating. Please tell me what you think.. I know he will try to weasle his way out of it but it is so obvious..


This morning I woke up to the following:


Wel, thats d consequences i should face. Its my responsibility cz i did it. if im prgnant no regret. i should accept that. i knw u love sarah and u cant get out of her. no wories....


And another:

dnt worry too much.. il be a momy and u wl be an invisible dady.. heheheh .x


I just want to feel nothing... I am supposed to give 2 months notice at work but all I want to do is go home...


I cant believe he would do this and without protection.. What if she has something. She works at a karoke bar for christs sake..



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car_lover 17 yrs ago
I think that proofs that he is cheating definitely. Now u shld go for a check-up for STD.


And i don't think a bad friend/colleague can easily influence someone unless that person wants to try it himself. It is easy to say NO. So don't blame it on others.

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sarahkowloon 17 yrs ago
I know this... Can you not understand why I tried to blame it on others. It is hard to believe someone you love would do this. I blamed everyone including myself. . There was nothing I could have done to prevent this. He was just too weak. I have already put my resignation in.. Hopefully I will get to go home soon.





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sarahkowloon 17 yrs ago
I know I could be making a mistake going home, but, I could also be wasting my time with a cheating husband who does not give a sh*t. It sounds to me like he has no respect for me anymore. He can't even use protection!


When I confronted the man he told me to 'f*ck off'. Is this the way people act when they are innocent??

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Sapphire 17 yrs ago
You obviously still have feelings for your husband, they don't just die overnight ... but what about his feelings for you? What kind of man can do this to a woman who loves him? You can either stay where you are and put up with living a miserable life, or possibly try to patch things up ... but it doesn't sound by his attitude towards you at the moment that he'd be willing to do that ... certainly not the way you would want to. Or, you can let him have what's coming to him ... take him to the cleaners ... go home, get a new job, and start a new life ... and let him enjoy the rest of his life taking care of some tart from a karaoke bar with a kid on the way ... and what's to say it's even his ... he deserves everything he's got coming to him. Maybe he'll have a change of heart and come to his senses when you confront him with the hard facts and the reality that you would actually leave him ... but do you really want to continue to be his wife knowing what he has done ... would you ever be able to trust him again?


I hope things work out for you whichever path you decide to take. Good luck!

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sarahkowloon 17 yrs ago
Thanks. I am sure I will be.


This time I have not even really cried that much. He has tried to tell me that it was all a big joke between them. I don't find it funny and do not believe someone jokes about that sort of thing. He says he is at that stage where he does not care what I think so I believe the best thing is for me to just leave.


Why should I try to work things out with a man who does not care what I think and who have given up so easily. I only hope one day he will regret this. It will probably be to late by then.

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Pupalicious 17 yrs ago
Sarah, your story brought a tear to my eye. I hope when you go home you have your support network around you and you can get back on your feet. Whether or not it is a 'big joke' with his friend or if he has cheated on you, the guy seems like a complete dick head and you're better off without.


One thing you said actually concerned me though, 'I never said no to sex'. That gives me images of a woman who just lies back and thinks of England, or which ever country you're from. The kind of thing old ladies do because sex is something only men want. Are you not in charge of your own sexuality?


Clearly it's too late to fix things if the cheating scumbag has got another woman pregnant, but maybe next time, it might be an idea to embrace sex as something that's fun for two and not just one, and change yourself from someone who just doesn't avoid saying no, but someone who's the instigator. You might find your husband doesn't wander when he has that to come home to.


Not that I'm blaming you. If he really loved you, he would tell you what he needed from you and try to work it out first before sleeping with someone else.


I wish you all the best, and hope you can quit work early to be around people who care about you.

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sarahkowloon 17 yrs ago
I didn't mean it the way it might have sounded. I am quite sexual myself and have always had a high sex drive. I am always happy to have sex and so never knocked him back as I enjoy it. What I am trying to say is that we have always had a healthy sexual relationship which has never been boring.


She has messaged me saying that it was some kind of a joke and she has never made love to him... She then had the nerve to tell me to be a good wife!!!!!



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KAT8 17 yrs ago
Hmmmm, instead of just blaming the other woman, I am puzzled as to why some posters have not addressed the attitude of the husband. He seems, according to the OP to have no respect for her. When she asked him what was going on, he told her he didn't care what she thought. Even if he is not sleeping around, what kind of answer is that to give especially to your wife??


Sarah, you have to decide what you want to do. If you think he is worth fighting for, go and fight for him. I wish you luck either way.





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malibu07 17 yrs ago
Sarah,


I am sorry to hear that your husband's cheating has turned out to be a reality. From the little that I know of your situation, I would agree with flashback's strategy. This other woman who is currently working on your husband is obviously trying to steal your husband and break up your marriage.


The most important question that you have to ask yourself is are you going to hand over your husband / married life that you have worked hard on building together just like that?


Yes, your husband might have done a lot of wrong things right now, but if you still love him and decide that you want to save / protect this marriage, you gotta look beyond your husband's faults right now and focus on how to save this marriage and fend off that woman.


Start with trying to initiate a heart to heart chat with your husband. Be open about your feelings and the fact that you have found him to be very distant lately and that you are feeling lonely.


Tell him that you miss him and that you want to spend more time with him. DON'T CONFRONT HIM BECAUSE I THINK THIS WILL PUSH HIM AWAY (especially if you know he is already guilty). If you really do love him still, TELL HIM THAT. Try to let your message get through to him.


This mess will take some time to resolve. But if you hang in there and keep working at it with husband / on your husband, I believe there is still a chance that you can save your marriage. Have hope and be strong. Best of luck.



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sarahkowloon 17 yrs ago
Thanks to all of you for all your kind words and good advise.


I do believe this woman is playing games with me and is trying to get rid of me. She once rang his phone when he was asleep and when I answered hung up. I rang back and she did not answer. She then wrote me a message to F@$ck off and stop being paranoid!!


We had a bit of a chat yesterday and I told him that I did not think I could stay with him anymore. He has been cold and mean to me for a long time now and I can not tolerate any more abuse. He told me that I have been negative and so he had given up trying to make things work! What a joke... He did ask to give it one more try.


She is friends with his friends girlfriend (they live in the next block).. I only found out what she looked like on Thursday when I went over there and demanded to know what her friend knew. She hardly speaks english so I did not get much out of her. I saw a picture of a very plain filipino.. She has bad skin and isn't even petite like most of them are. In my head I had a picture of a small, pretty young thing with long black hair.


I have to stay in Hong Kong for two months.. I am making arrangements but if he can prove that he is going to grow up and respect me I might stay longer.




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malibu07 17 yrs ago
Sarah


If that woman has the nerve to write you a message to tell you to f**k off then you better believe that the fight between you and her has begun!


You HAVE to stay and FIGHT! Her actions are blatant manifestations that she is merely trying to trap your husband as her next meal ticket.


Also, whatever that your husband is blaming you for (as a reason for him to stop trying) - try to make it a point to do something about it so that he cannot use that excuse anymore. E.g., if he says you are negative, try to show your "positiveness" towards him on the next few occassions where it is appropriate to do so. Show him that you are trying to make things work.


Also, can you ask for more frequent visits back home? Just find any chance to isolate him from the present environment; may be that will help clear his head. And while you two are away, try hard to re-build the bond.


Good luck! It ain't over yet!

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sarahkowloon 17 yrs ago
Cheers mate...


I am not looking to fight over him. If he is going to continue this 'friendship' with this women then I will simply leave. I know it is what she wants but I wont be forced to fight over a man.


I love him still but the abuse has to stop. I am sick of crying myself stupid wondering what I have done. It's in his hands. He can either stop the drinking and the messages or loose me.


Is it to much to ask???

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clan 17 yrs ago
Oh Sarah, I really feel for you. I have been exactly where you are now. It's really tough. I know exactly how you feel when you just don't think you should 'fight' for him. I hate to say it but there are women out there who do hunt men like your husband down. HK has a very bizarre effect on seemingly normal men. What you need to know is that there is life after these guys and not all men are s**ts. If you want to keep him and work through this then that is a choice you can make. However you may live with insecurity and a man who arrogantly feels he is calling the shots. If he is remorseful then there is a glimmer of hope. If he is not it will come back to haunt you.


What I will say is there is life after this and you will stop crying, feeling angry and hurt. Don't leave HK to get away from him if you are happy here. Make new friends, look fantastic and let him know that life goes on and you are so so ok!

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sarahkowloon 17 yrs ago
Thanks:) I would really like to show him that I don't need him and that I will survive.


He is not well at the moment so he has not had a chance to show me if he really does want to change. He has asked for 6 months but my time frame is much shorter as I want to start being happy again. Sadly I don't think he will. I have been looking after him while he has been sick and as soon as he gets better I am sure he will ditch me for his mates.


I don't think he realises that this is his last chance. The next 2 weeks are critical.





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Pupalicious 17 yrs ago
Sorry, flashback, I disagree!


Sarah, this guy does not respect you. He's proven that to you every time he goes to Wan Chai and is flirting with girls who are nothing compared to you. You want to be with a guy who's interested in easy girls? He's using you for your compasion while he's sick and then when he's done, he's going to f**k off back to Wan Chai and not give you a second's thought.


Lets put it this way, my boyfriend of four years also goes to WanChai and LKF with his player friends, and I don't really care 'cause I go out with the girls, but if I really asked him to stay home and not go out, he would because he respects me. This is what happens in a strong relationship.


I'm Western, all my girlfriends in Hong Kong are Chinese and I don't feel any of the awkwardness you described when I go to bars. Try going out more, show him you're independant and you don't need him. I don't think he wants someone who needs him, I think he wants to put it about. Maybe he feels smothered and just uses easy girls to prove to himself that he's free.


Basically, he sounds like a right male appendage head and you can do better. I don't think you should waste your time and energy, especially when you can go home and meet a nice guy who hasn't been warped by places like WanChai.

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sarahkowloon 17 yrs ago
Sorry to hear there are others in my situation. I suppose this is a big city and there would be alot of that kind of thing going on.


It is such a hard decision. If this was the first case I would be ok with trying. It has happened time and time again over the three years that we have lived here.


In the past I think I have always come off as needy to him as I always begged him to stay home and be with me. So I don't think he finds the needy thing all that hot. I think he likes the "oh you are soooo funny, you are sooo handsome, you are the best." kind of thing.


He has already told me that he plans to go off to his mates house (sigh). Don't think it crossed his mind to spend the day with me. You would think he would at leasthe would want to thank me for staying awake for two nights waiting on him. There is something on TV that is more important and the chance he might miss out on a great day with the boys (and prob some girls) makes me come in number 3!


With the bar thing. I feel right at home anywhere in LKF, Central and most bars in Wan Chai. I was talking about those pick up bars where there is no western ladies and all the women give you evils and all the western men give you evils.


Trying really hard not to let it all get me down. I suppose I should be thankful that he is showing me how much he is trying to make things work and how hard he is trying to be good. (sigh)



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clan 17 yrs ago
Sarahkowloon, you don't need to be thankful for anything....you deserve better than that. I have so been here before and it's painful to see you there...don't allow yourself to be beaten down and compromise beyond fair, where is he showing you how hard he is working?

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sarahkowloon 17 yrs ago
Sorry I meant to be sarcastic.. He has not been working very hard at all. Quite the opposite.


This weekend I will make my mind up about staying or leaving. He has Sunday off so if he goes to Wan Chai for the day it will be pretty easy for me to decide....


I don't know what I want to happen.

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Pupalicious 17 yrs ago
Seriously Sarah - dump the loser. You're not doing yourself any favours.

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sarahkowloon 17 yrs ago
When I say three years I mean the Wan Chai thing. I used to go with them for a while but got sick of being in that sort of enviroment. He has never lied to me at least about where he is. He has always said where he is going..


I know it's to late to be credible but I hope it's not to late to find some kind of happiness for myself :) He really honestly thinks that I will never leave...


I think I already know what will happen this weekend.. I don't really expect a miracle. He does not want to lose face with his friends by staying at home. (sigh)



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Sapphire 17 yrs ago
Why does he have to stay at home? Can't he do something different with his wife for a change? Why not suggest it to him ... how about a trip over to Lamma or Cheung Chau for a nice long relaxing seafood lunch and a few cold beers. I often do that with my husband and it's a great way for him to unwind after a stressful week at work, and for us to have some time together. Or ask another couple who are good frineds to go along with you. Doesn't have to be that ... there are a million things out there that you could do together instead of you being at home alone and him being stuck in some dingy bar in Wanchai all day on a Sunday ... God, there's more to life than that ... very sad if that's all he wants to do at the weekend instead of spending time with you. If there's no changing his mind, then I think you know what the answer is.

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Sapphire 17 yrs ago
<>


Sarahkowloon ~ Has your husband just never grown up? Is he particularly immature for his age or something? I can't believe that a grown man, after working all week, would rather do this than spend time with his wife at the weekend. For most of us, the weekend is the only time we get to spend together. How selfish of him. Do his friends really mean more to him than you do? Why is it losing face to say he's going out with you for a change? If I were you I would really have to give him some ultimatum. You say he thinks you will never leave ... you need to start making him realise you mean buisness. Be stronger and don't let him get away with being so bl**dy selfish!! You're in this marriage together and it shouldn't be all one sided ... you need to start taking more control and don't take no for an answer.




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Jessiemakati 17 yrs ago
There was a thread on this site 2 or 3 years ago that ran & ran - with all sides giving their points of view -- i.e. what is it that happens to non-asian guys in HK; cheating husbands; predatory filipinas; the curse of wan chai. short summary for you sarahkowloon - he's cheating, fiftyfifty that he will see the light & come back to you; neither of you will EVER be the same again.

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Pupalicious 17 yrs ago
Saphire is spot on!!!


Sarah, you need to read everything saphire said and take it on board. Is there anything at all you have in common that you would like to do together. My boyfriend and I love watching TV shows together, so of a Sunday we sit in front of the tele and laugh together or something through our favourite shows. I think spending all day at home is a bit of shame when I should be out exploring a foreign country, but it's not foreign to him so he's not as interested. Never mind as we have lots of other things that we do want to do together, and I have other people to explore with.


Point is: Sapphire is completely right...

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Jessiemakati 17 yrs ago
From my perspective (a guy who has been 'there') the message being sent by him is clear. you need to move on sarah. just be thnkful there are no kids involved (yours & his I mean). 3 years..hmm, he's pretty entrenched in the west admiralty lifestyle by now, for sure. if he & you are really serious about salvaging your relationship, both of you need to move out of asia.

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sarahkowloon 17 yrs ago
I thought I would tell you all that he did not go out on Sunday.. He went out on Friday.


I have made up my mind to go home.. I am sick of the same old thing happening time and time again.


Thanks to all your good advise. I do thank god that I have no children and that I am still young..


Sarah X

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Sapphire 17 yrs ago
Sarah, sorry to hear that you haven't been able to sort things out between you ... maybe when he realises that you are serious about leaving, he may come to his senses ... as the saying goes, "You never realise what you've got until it's gone."


If you do go home, I hope you are able to make a better life for yourself ... and eventually meet someone who treats you well.


Good Luck!

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sarahkowloon 17 yrs ago
Thanks Sapphire.. You brought a tear to my eye. I hope you are right:)



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pling 17 yrs ago
Dear Sarah


I feel like I know you already having read the above threads. It is good to see from reading your emails from top to bottom that you have gone through the emotions of shock, denial, hope and i hope now it is strength.


I was in your position once upon a time and I hope that you will hold strong... for me I went back and forth, back and forth with the guy for a long time. Each time it chipped away at my self esteem making me think what is wrong with me and why doesn't he love me and if I only try harder. I am not sure if you are having these feelings too but I'm sure there will be moments of weakness and when you get these I hope that you are strong and you remember that if her remotely respected you then he wouldn't make you feel this way. Don't justify WHY!


That is the most important thing, HOW does he make you FEEL? Unfortunately you can't make someone love you. I strongly urge you to buy the book "He's just not that into you"! I read this book, stopped crying and left the loser!


After that I got a torrent of phone calls, text message saying he loves me and wants to change... Basically, I'd gone back and forth too many times and "too bad buddy"! I'm better off without him! You will be too! BE STRONG!


2 years later, I'm in a very loving relationship. No insecurities, no wondering what he is up to, where he is going... complete trust! This is how it should be. I know my boyfriend loves and respects me and he knows if he ever cheats I will leave him!


I recently heard that the "loser" got married, so doing the "nice" thing, I sent him an email to say congratulations and did not expect to hear anything from him. I guess I feel like this is my past and I am happy for him. I received a text message and phone call from him a day later saying "I miss you", "if I new you were still single I would have waited"! WHAT A LOSER! Lucky for me his "charms" has fallen on deaf ears. I feel sorry for his wife but now it is NOT MY PROBLEM! Basically, a leopard never changes his spots! I'm so glad it's not me!


So I urge you to please read the book "He's just not that into you", go out there and don't waste the pretty! Go out and have fun and make sure the next guy makes you feel good about yourself!


All the best!! XXOO

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malibu07 17 yrs ago
dear sarah

i hope you will be inspired by pling's posting. initially i had thought that may be your relationship is worth saving, but now that you have mentioned that it has been over 3 years, i really think you should move on as well. so please don't waste any more of your time on this guy and starting planning on your trip back home!


i don't know what will happen once your husband finds out that you plan to leave. he may try to beg you to stay, etc. so be prepared that this may not be as easy as you think. but if once you have made up your mind (which it sounds like you have already) - don't waver and stick to the plan.


best of luck.

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